Droopy Drawers

I had a lovely NSV today. Most of the time I wear jeans, but today I put on a pair of black pants that were snug when I bought them in November. They drooped so much that the hem dragged on the ground. They were too loose in the waist, the butt, the legs, everywhere! Today is definitely the last day I can wear them. As soon as I wash them I'll take picture and put them up for grabs here, along with a shirt and a pair of jeans.

I almost PB'd again on the antibiotics, even cut in half. They sort of sat there threatening to come up for about 10 minutes, then passed through. There is no way I'll be able to get them down if I smoosh them in grape jelly or something, so I'll just hope for the best for the next couple of days.

Well, Hello! Why Doncha Stay A While?

Hello, restriction! Yay! As so many of you have mentioned before, things seem tighter in the morning and loosened up a lot by last night. I'm delighted the restriction is here and just hope it sticks around for a while.

This does, however, make taking my antibiotic a little tricky. The pills are HUGE, so I cut them in half after yesterday morning's fiasco. But even the two halves are big enough that I've had to wait till noon to take them.

Ah well. I should be done with the antibiotic in a few days.

I'm still officially on liquids today, although I did have the ricotta/tomato sauce combo last night for dinner and it went down fine. This morning, some hot tea and a few bites of very runny oatmeal. I'm working my way now through a smoothie but it's taking a while.

We ended up getting about 16 inches of snow, and it's so heavy it's still weighing down tree branches. I'm guessing we'll go out to play later this afternoon.

Snow Day! (Sound Familiar?)

First of all, thanks for all your comments yesterday. They really do help me believe that this thing will work, at some point. You guys are the best. I was telling my husband today that I don't know what I would do if I didn't have all of your advice and experiences to guide me through this.

As for the eating (drinking), so far so good. I made pancakes for everyone this morning - the boys were begging - but I really wasn't tempted by them. I had some yogurt because I need something in my stomach for the anti-inflammatories I'm taking for my foot and for the antibiotic I'm taking for the sinus infection.

Secondly, we're doing another snow day and this time it's serious! We have *way* more snow than we did during the last storm. I'll try to take a picture at some point and post it.

We're planning to get the kids all set up in their snow gear and hike over to Grandma's house, mostly to get us all some exercise and a break. I'll try putting the baby in my Bjorn. We'll see how that goes...

**UPDATE** I took my pills with a few sips of water and within 10 minutes was leaning over the toilet. Oddly, some stuff came up but the gagging seemed to dislodge the meds and they went down. Not pleasant, but I'm grateful the medicine is in my system and I don't have to start over with the pills.

So I guess that was my first PB? With pills. Ewww. Should have been something worthwhile, like pizza!

Is This Thing On?

***I want to preface this post by saying I know I've been all kinds of negative lately. Please know that I am not writing this to bring on sympathy from you. I started this blog to keep track of my emotions and frustrations through this process, so I want to be as true to my feelings as I can. I'm hoping writing it all down will help me make sense of it.***

I had fill #2 today and I've been starving all day. Before the fill, I had three soft-boiled eggs and two pieces of rye toast with butter for breakfast. I resisted the cookies at my Haiti fundraiser meeting, so yay me on that front. Had 1.5 cc's added to bring me to 5.5 cc's in my band.

I went home and had 1/2 c of roasted red pepper soup, was still hungry so had a protein shake. I haven't had one of those in at least 10 days. Still felt hungry so had 1/2 or 2/3 c of chili, blended with some beef stock to thin it out. At dinner I had winter vegetable puree soup and 4-5 bites of tuna salad. Tonight I've had a glass of wine, half of a mashed avocado and a SF chocolate pudding cup (60 cals).

I am feeling so let down by this. I know it's a tool and I need to put effort into it, but I really did expect more from this band. I can't quite figure if it's normal to have this hunger and overeating while waiting to get to restriction, or if I am a giant fuckup and going to fail with this just as I have failed with every other weight-loss effort. If I fail with this, I'll let down my husband, my children, my entire family. Which, frankly, just depresses me and makes me want to eat more.

Second Fill

The snow waited for my fill - thank you, Mother Nature. I'm up to 5.5 cc's in my 10 cc band. The surgeon didn't want to go to 6 yet, and I kind of didn't want to run into any problems where I'd be trying to trek back and have some taken out during a snow storm. So my fingers are crossed.

I've been eating allll the wrong things for the past two weeks and it has caught up to me.

At least my liquids/mushies days should help get the scale moving in the right direction.

I hope everyone is dry and warm!

QUICK QUESTION: Is it normal that I'm pretty hungry? I've had 1/2 c of red pepper soup, a protein shake and 1/2 c of blended chili in the last three hours and I'm just now full.

Too Fat to Fly, Part 2

My beloved New York Times is piling on, making me nervous about flying:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/28/travel/prac28fat.html?hpw

Question of the Day & More Snow

We've got a nor'easter coming! Or maybe a 'snow hurricane'! Who knows, but it's gonna be exciting, according to the breathless forecasts here.

All I know is, I WILL BE GETTING A FILL TOMORROW AT 11 AM, come hell or high water. Or a snow hurricane.

I also finally made an appointment with my orthopedist for Monday, so hopefully that'll get the plantar fasciitis and attendant foot problems on a better path to healing so I can exercise without pain and causing more damage.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: I have 4 cc's in my 10 cc band. I'm planning to ask for 2 additional cc's tomorrow. Good idea? Bad idea? Suggestions?

The People Around Us

I live in a town where virtually no one is fat, and certainly not obese. Maybe some of the 50- and 60-something women have the usual 15ish pounds to lose, but very few women my age are truly overweight. Quite the opposite, they are toned and tanned and coiffed.

So I am definitely an aberration in my town. Even in my family there are clear delineations when it comes to weight. My dad and his side of the family have always had weight problems. My mom is uber-thin (my sister teasingly calls her Lexi Anorexi), my sister is very thin and my brother has gone from stringbean to puffy and back a few times but generally is really fit.

My husband weighs 168 and hasn't varied from that by more than four pounds in the ten years I've known him. He weighs himself every day and when it's at the higher end of his allowable spectrum, he cuts back for a few days. End of story. Needless to say, I find this amazing.

On one hand, all these healthy-weight people are a constant reminder that I am not normal, and while most people can hide their issues, my "secret" weakness is broadcast to all by my heft. On the other hand, I think it's good for me to not be lulled into a false comfort by seeing overweight people all around me.

What kind of environment do you live in? Do you think it helps or hurts your weight-loss efforts?

Note: I had the Hubs pack up all the chocolate kisses in the house and take them to work. Getting it out of the house is half the battle, right?

Evaluation Time

Today I'm seven weeks out from surgery, and it's time for an honest evaluation.

The stats:
Highest weight: 266 (10.6.09)
Surgery day weight: 253 (1.4.10)
Lowest weight so far: 233.5 (2.14.10)
Current weight: 238 (2.22.10)
Total lost: 28 pounds (I'm not changing my damn ticker).
Lost since surgery: 15 pounds.

What I'm doing well:

Eating protein first.
Eating solid foods primarily and avoiding slider foods/caloric beverages.
Not drinking with meals.
Waiting at least 30 minutes to drink after eating.
Staying away from bread.
Limiting wine to Friday and Saturday nights only.

What I'm not doing well:

Staying away from candy, specifically chocolate.
Exercising (partially because of my foot injury).
Avoiding food after dinner. I think I need an across-the-board, nothing-in-my-mouth-but-water rule after dinner.
Logging my daily food intake.

Seems pretty clear what I need to do.

xoxo

Getting Fat Again

I moved my 2nd fill to this Thursday because I got on the scale and oh Lord it's back to 238. EVEN WHEN I FORSOOK* MCDONALDS. How is that fair?

I made a pasta bake thing for the first time last night, I almost never make casseroles. I ate everything in it (chopped turkey meatballs, broccoli, ricotta and parmesan cheeses) except the pasta, my oldest glumly ate a few bites, the 4-year-old sat at the table and railed about how he never gets to eat anything he likes (chicken nuggets, chicken nuggets and chicken nuggets) and my husband had leftover salmon. Good reminder about why I never make casseroles. The baby was pretty psyched about her saltine cracker, though.

Special treat today: MASSAGE. My mother-in-law lives one street over and she knows a masseuse who will come to the house. So I'm booked for 1 pm, she's booked for 2 pm and my sister-in-law is getting one at 3 pm. Sweeeeeeet.

Happy Monday everyone! New readers for catchy title here, thanks for stopping by, I'm glad you came.

*I know this isn't a real word. But it fit what I was trying to say.

Thanks for Talking Me Off the Ledge

Wow, you guys really know how to reassure a girl. Thanks for all your kind replies to my depressive post yesterday.

After I wrote the post, I felt a lot better. I made pretty good food choices, and last night the Hubs and I went to my favorite restaurant in town. The food is delicious every single time, the by-the-glass wine list is really good (Hubs doesn't drink so I only order by the glass) and the service is warm and friendly without being overbearing.

I've been wanting to go back but nervous because it's Italian. I had a great meal - shared a tomato and mozzarella salad with the Hubs (I had one slice of each) and had branzino, which is a light, moist flaky white fish. It's p-p-perfect for bands. It was served with steamed broccoli, cherry tomatoes and a small portion of scalloped cheesy potatoes. I had one tiny bite of potatoes, some tomatoes, a couple pieces of broccoli and about half the fish. With some wine, of course. And it was all delicious.

Then we saw Up in the Air. How can a day that includes two hours of staring at George Clooney be bad?
He's awesome. And so are all of you.

NSV and Miscellaneous

* I'm claiming V I C T O R Y over McDonald's, at least for today. We were out all morning at various doctors' appointments and my 4-year-old got hungry. I walked with him to McD's and got him some chicken nuggets but nothing for me. That's big for me. I came home and had some turkey and cheese roll-ups and half an avocado. I'm full, too. Yay me.

* Scale was up to 238 today. FIngers are really swollen, but I'm drinking water. I veer between eating well and then blowing it on chocolate or sweets.

* I have a sinus infection and just started antibiotics but in the meantime my head feels like it's going to explode and I can't breathe out of my nose, which is a big pet peeve of mine. I really, intensely dislike mouth breathing. (How's that for a petty whine?)

* I've been Negative Nelly lately, my mind is just full of 'see, this isn't working, you don't even have self control after this surgery, now what the hell are you going to do?' I'm at a low point emotionally, really struggling.

I guess that covers it.

Friday Night Quickie

Just popping in to say a quick hi to everyone. Thanks so much to those who've nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger awards - these are fun, I'm having a great time learning things about all of you!

Sometime in the next couple of days I'll do the Beautiful Blogger thing, which should be around the time it's dying out. That's pretty much on target with when I usually catch up with trends.

Happy Friday!

PS Ohhhh, when will I not be hungry anymore? When is March 1st again??

The First Time I Felt Fat

When I was in second grade, I had my First Holy Communion, which was notable in my mind because I got to wear an elegant white dress and a veil. Just like a bride.

In the weeks leading up to my communion, as the nuns tried to impress the importance of the Holy Eucharist on a bunch of uninterested 7-year-olds, I couldn't stop thinking of that veil and how beautiful I was going to be when I wore it.

On the big day I felt like a princess. I swiveled my head this way and that to show off my veil all day long.

A few weeks later the photos came back from the developer, and I ripped open the envelope to see myself in all my veiled glory. What I saw was devastatingly disappointing. I looked SO FAT. I had a double chin, and in one picture my belly looked huge. The depth of my disappointment is difficult to convey - I had felt so beautiful, and when I saw the pictures I realized I looked terrible the whole time.

I wish I could see those photos now - they're at my parents' house in Pennsylvania, and said parents are in Florida for the winter. I'm guessing I didn't look nearly as bad as I felt. I might have been on the chubbier side, but I didn't have a real weight problem until I was in my late teens.

Looking back, I think that was the first time I ever felt fat.

**In lieu of the first communion photo, a photo of me as an actual bride in 2001. With a veil. That's my mom, who weighs about 106 pounds dripping wet. (The quality isn't great because it's scanned.)

=====================================

For some reason I ate all day today. To offset this constant grazing, I made a point of choosing healthier options. I had lots of raw veggies along with less-healthy fare. I took my oldest son out for dinner after swim practice and I ordered a chicken quesadilla. Luckily, there was almost no cheese in it. I ate half and pushed the rest away. I was proud of myself for that - it wasn't easy and I would have been happy to keep going.

Tomorrow I'm taking the boys to the USS Intrepid Sea, Air & Space Museum, which is on an aircraft carrier in New York City. I think I'm more excited than they are.

Be well!

**No real reason for posting this one. I just like it.

Freudian Math, and Foot Pain

First I would like to thank those of you who saw my math error in yesterday's post but were too polite to tell me I'm an idiot. I realized later that if I weighed 233.5 and wanted to get down to 225, I would not actually have to lose 12 pounds. I made the correction in the post.

(I spent 12 years in Catholic school, which means I have excellent handwriting but I can't do math.)

However, it must have been a Freudian slip because I got on the scale this morning and, as Catherine put it, BOINNNNNGGGGG. I'm up to 237, which would leave me with 12 pounds to lose if I want to get to 225 by March 12. Not happy about this.

I did pretty well yesterday with eating, and again today I've done well. I hired a professional organizer to help me dig through some of the mess in our house and we spent six hours packing, organizing and getting things in tip-top shape. She's awesome and I have her come once or twice a year to help me cull through the toys, kids' clothes and other stuff that seems to accumulate at alarming rates. Anyway, my point is I was too busy today to snack or have an extended lunch.

Back to weight loss, or lack thereof. I'm having a hard time getting exercise going. Part of it is laziness but a big part of it is that I have serious pain in my right foot. It started out as plantar fasciitis and then I started favoring different parts of my foot by standing differently and now I have pain all over. I've been to an orthopedist who told me to take Advil for two weeks (this was pre-band) and ice my foot regularly. That was in September and I guess I need to go back and let her know I'm still having a lot of pain and it's keeping me from exercising.

I **could** swim. We belong to the Y, and they have a brand-new Olympic size pool that is just gorgeous. But I just cannot go there in a bathing suit yet. Really, I can't.

You know what's killing me? The people across the street from us have an amazing indoor swimming pool. How often could they possibly use that thing? Wonder if I could sneak in...

We'll open our pool in mid-May and I can do laps then. But I'd love to get this foot issue squared away, it's really affecting my ability to move. Ugh, this is ridiculous. I'm 37 and I feel like I'm 85. SO ANGRY WITH MYSELF FOR LETTING THINGS GET THIS BAD WITH MY WEIGHT.

Kick in the Pants

So last night after reading all of your replies to my Too Fat to Fly post (thank you for the reassurances!), I decided this is just what I need to set a mini-goal. I've been kind of floundering lately, not really focused on any particular goal, just going along and hoping my restriction is enough to keep me from doing real damage. Not ideal for good, consistent weight loss.

Today is Feb. 16th. We leave for Utah on March 12. My mini-goal is to weigh 225 the day we leave. That's aggressive, I have probably 9 pounds to lose in less than a month. If I don't get right there, then I hope to be close.

The Plan:

* Work whatever restriction I have. Eat fish, turkey chili, substantial foods that will fill me up with relatively few calories.
* Avoid wine, even on weekends (current rule has been wine only on weekends.)
* No drinking with meals. At all. Ever.
* Exercise. I've done little exercise thus far, so there's lots of room for improvement here.
* Drink lots of water.
* Drink decaffeinated tea at night to avoid snacking. Thanks to Barbara for that tip, it did help last night.

I have my second fill on March 1st and I'll ask for 2 cc's then (I have 4 now).

Wish me luck!

Too Fat to Fly?

OK, so I've heard about airlines cracking down on overweight passengers and now my fear is at a higher level because of this story.

I haven't flown since last winter because I was at the end of my pregnancy and then was doing the newborn thing. But I'm **really** nervous about an upcoming trip in March. Right now I weigh 233.5. I'm sure I've flown a little heavier than that and not gotten kicked off. I can probably lose another 8-9 pounds before the March trip. Anyone here flown at 225 and had any problems?

I'm going with my husband's entire family and our two older children. I will die a thousand deaths if I get kicked off the plane for being too fat in front of all of them.

The Fill Works - But Not Quite Enough

The good news is, I do seem to stay full longer with this 4 cc fill. Food actually leaves my mind for a while after I eat! Crazy.

The bad news is, I was still able to eat a pretty big dinner last night at a restaurant.

(This Valentine dinner was a preplanned girls' night out - our husbands were on childcare duty. The three of us were the only non-couple table in the entire restaurant.)

Anyway, I was able to eat one roasted (moist) shrimp, two medium-size scallops and a pretty decent size piece of sea bass with quinoa and sweet pea risotto. Oh, um, and flourless chocolate cake with a small scoop of raspberry sorbet.

Good news: I put my fork down after every bite, concentrated on talking rather than eating. Bad news: I drank water (and a glass of sangria - yum) with dinner, which I never do normally.

I don't actually feel terribly guilty about any of this, so this isn't a 'confession,' really. I've done well since the fill last week and the scale is moving in the right direction and I know I will continue to make good choices. But I do think my ability to eat that much at dinner means I'll be ready for another fill when I go back to my surgeon on March 2nd.

Mysteries of the Scale

I stepped on the scale this morning and it said I lost three pounds?! I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm delighted. It's kind of funny, though, how I blame any overnight gain on water retention, but never attribute crazy losses to dehydration.

Whatever. I'm counting it.

(I'm actually logging a 2.5 pound loss, because I stepped on and off the scale about 17 times and at the end it was consistently showing a 2.5 pound loss rather than three pounds. )

THIRTY (30) POUNDS!

FINALLY! The fill (and post-fill liquid diet) put me over the edge and I dropped the half pound I've been holding onto for the last 11 days. So 30 pounds down since my first surgical consult in October, and 17 pounds down since my surgery on Jan. 4th. YAY!!

On the band front, so far the fill is fine but it's hard to tell since I'm only on liquids. The real test will be Sunday when I go back to solids.

I have to take my baby for her 9-month checkup this morning, which means: shots. I swear they're worse for me than they are for her, though you'd never know it to hear her scream. The worst part is when she looks at me like, "How could you let them do this to me?" Such a sense of betrayal.

I realize that sounds dramatic, and before I had kids when I heard people say things like that I thought they were completely ridiculous. Now I am that ridiculous person.

Have a great weekend and Happy Valentine's Day to the Sisterhood! I heart you all.

Fill 'Er Up

I have 4 cc's in my 10 cc band! My surgeon mentioned at my post-op visit that he usually gives 1.5 to 2 cc's for the first fill and I was none too happy about that. When I went in this morning, I asked for four and to my complete surprise, he gave it to me.

Please God don't let me be foaming at the mouth an hour from now...

**UPDATE**
I'm on liquids through Saturday, and the protein shake I had this morning went down fine. I just had 1/2c of turkey chili that I thinned out with some chicken stock and blended - delicious and filling. I may still make a two-week appointment just in case (thanks Gen for the suggestion). But I'm sure I'll be a bit more restricted now, even if it's not the sweet spot yet.

Photos, Photos Everywhere

We had a snow day today! Here's a shot of our backyard.

The good news is, I was so busy keeping the kids occupied that I had little time to eat. We had fun most of the time but if we have another snow day tomorrow I'm toast. I used all my good ideas today. I could never be a camp counselor.

Unrelated to anything much, I was downloading photos and found one of myself at close to my lowest weight, about 165. This is also before I had children. And it's from 10 years ago. In other words, I couldn't use it on a dating website at this point in my life.

Here's one from the fall, when I was going through the pre-op process. I was at my highest weight here, almost 100 pounds more than in the old photo. Kind of appropriate that there's a big ol' container of fries in front of me.

So. That's depressing. There is much work to be done. Tomorrow is my fill, if I can make it to the 8 am appointment.

I hope you're all warm and dry!

New Jeans and Question of the Day

I'm wearing new jeans! SMALLER jeans. Which is a really nice NSV, particularly since the scale is not moving. I can't legitimately complain about that, though - I know full well why the scale is not moving. And by that I mean I can officially eat a quarter pounder with fries.

So the waistband on the jeans got a teeeny bit tight after lunch. Serves me right. FOR SHAME.

In the good news department, my fill has been moved to first thing Thursday morning, and I've revamped the childcare arrangements since there's no chance in hell the Hubs will be able to fly home Wednesday night as planned. New York City schools are canceled tomorrow already, for only the third time in eight years. Yikes.

The good news is, I've got milk, eggs and numerous child-oriented videos. We have a list of projects (the kids' school valentines, cleaning bedrooms, packing away clothes they've grown out of, etc.) that will keep us fairly busy, along with shoveling and spending two hours dressing them in snow gear so they can go outside for 90 seconds before deciding it's just too cold.

For everyone getting this storm - Stay warm and enjoy as much of it as you can!

Question of the Day: How many cc's did your surgeon give you for your first fill, and how many cc's did it take till you felt good restriction, or at your sweet spot? (I have a 10cc band.)

Snow on the Horizon

My fill is supposed to be Wednesday morning, at the hospital with a barium swallow. Unfortunately, we are supposed to get a boatload of snow Tuesday night into Wednesday morning, which is going to completely mess up my carefully-calibrated childcare arrangements.

I have a call in to the doctor to see what my options are. Stay tuned...

TOUCHDOWN!

OK, so it wasn't a low-cal day. But I followed my plan, ate lots of raw veggies, had a taste of the other things, and all in all I'm happy with the way the Super Bowl eating went.

I didn't have a horse in this race, but GO SAINTS! New Orleans deserves some good, unfiltered joy. Congratulations!

Self-Destructive Habits

Well, my behavior hasn't be geared toward success lately. More like the old self-destructive patterns. I am an emotional eater, as soon as I get upset or worried or anxious I start craving less-than-healthy food. And for the last three or four days, I've been mostly indulging those cravings.

For the first four weeks, when my band was new and I was terrified of hurting my recovery, I did not have a single thing I wasn't supposed to have. Followed instructions to the letter. And of course I lost weight.

I know everyone is telling me to wait for the fill, and believe me, I am waiiiiting and waiiiiting. But I'm concerned about these habits. How do I teach myself to find other ways to deal with difficult situations or emotional periods?

When I was in my mid-20s I started taking phen-fen. GREAT stuff. When fenfluramine was taken off the market (like two weeks after I started it), my doctor kept me on the phentermine. Let me tell you, that drug is like MAGIC. While I took the phentermine, over about 9 months I lost 75 pounds, started running, and eventually ran a marathon. I never got *skinny* - my lowest weight was about 165ish and I'm only 5'4" on a tall day. But at that weight I looked good, I felt great and my newfound confidence was reflected in every area of my life.

I had a ton of energy, I was happy and best of all, I wasn't interested in food. I remember sitting at a restaurant with friends, glancing at the menu and ordering salad without feeling like I was depriving myself.

And I stopped and thought, "This must be what it's like to be normal." Not thinking about food, not beating myself up for eating bad things, making bad choices, constantly returning myself to the circumstances that made me so unhappy and kept me from doing the things I wanted to do in my life.

That's what I'm hoping the band will do for me, particularly as I start getting fills. I want to think of food like normal people do - as fuel, as a way to share good times with family and friends. But not as a controlling factor in my life. I know I need to do my part, but right now I'm doing a crappy, crappy job.

Carrot Sticks, Meet Gridiron

I'm at the 'one step back' part of the two steps forward progression scale of banding. It happens, and from what so many of you tell me, it's not unusual as I wait to get to a good restriction. In the meantime, I'm trying to minimize the damage and talk myself down from the frustration and disappointment of not melting fast enough. Battling hunger and cravings all day long is mentally exhausting. Blech.

I've been worst at night lately, snacking and eating things that aren't doing much for me. Last night actually wasn't bad, probably because I went to a talk about raising boys, how they learn differently than girls, etc. I was out and busy for most of the evening. When I got home I had the munchies but I satisfied the urge with a slice of turkey and a slice of American cheese.

However. This Sunday will present a teeeeeny challenge for me and, I suspect, for many of us.

I'm not into football, but people go to Super Bowl parties the way agnostics flock to church on Easter Sunday. And I'll be joining the crowd. I'm bringing a delicious hot crab dip (with cream cheese, cheddar cheese and sour cream), Rice Krispie treats and brownies. The hostess is making wings and there will be a million people, all of whom will bring something or other.

Strategies: Try to load up on bulky raw vegetables before eating anything else. No drinking while eating and no caloric beverages (there won't be any wine or beer; one of the hosts is in AA).

What are your plans for the Super Bowl? Are you just going to eat what you want for that one day, or are you sticking with the rules of the band?

Lane Bryant

What would a weight-loss (or weight-loss-surgery) blog be without a Lane Bryant post?

Most of us have shopped there, been aghast at the godawful goods at ridiculous prices, and grateful to find something, anything we can wear that hasn't been beadazzled within an inch of its life.

I just stopped by LB to pick up a few shirts that I'm hoping will tide me over for a while. And guess what their latest "style" is, ladies?

STIRRUP PANTS.

Oh, Lane Bryant. I can't wait to bid you farewell.

One Week Till First Fill

I am ready for a fill. Really, really ready.

My goal for the next week is to keep my weight from creeping upward. That's it.

I'm not off to a great start. Today I had the insides of a bean burrito along with chips, salsa and sour cream. Then I had four Hershey's kisses. That's all I've had - the morning kind of flew by and I forgot to make a shake. But still... the insides of the entire burrito. Plus chips.

Fill 'er up, please.

Give me your Challenge updates as you get 'em. You guys are rockin this thing!

Question of the Day: For those of you who've monetized your blog, have you actually made any money from this? Do they send you a check?

PS Does anyone else find they have to go back after they write a post and delete at least half the exclamation points? Cause I do!! Every! Freakin! Time!

It's Official

I am out of touch. I have not seen a single one of the movies nominated for Best Picture this year. In fact, I think I've only seen three movies in the past 12 months - The Hangover (took the baby when she was 5 weeks old and nursed her through the whole film - most relaxing evening I had in ages); Star Trek (for the Hubs' 40th birthday; also took him to Panera for dinner to celebrate) and Invictus (most excellent, by the way).

In 2000 I saw every single movie nominated for Best Picture. What has become of me??

As far as eating and whatnot, let's just say my restriction is minimal. I had a protein shake for breakfast, a Dunkin Donuts flatbread sandwich for lunch and two smallish bowls of butternut squash risotto (Barefoot Contessa recipe - BEST EVER) for dinner. Not exactly a model bandster day.

The scale did show a half-pound loss this morning, so I guess things could be worse. Like tomorrow morning, when the glass (ok, two glasses, stop grilling me already) of wine show up.

I logged 40 minutes on the elliptical while the oldest child had swim practice at the Y. That's something, right?

Also, an anticipated NSV: I'm planning our summer activities, trying to coordinate dates and trips with the extended family. I am SO EXCITED to do things this summer that I haven't been able to do in years because of my weight. I want to take the kids on rides and hikes and kayaking (last summer I couldn't fit in our kayaks). I am really, really looking forward to all of that. I love doing things with my children, and I have missed out the last few years. This band gives me hope. That's the best thing about it.

Finally, I leave you with a New York Times story about Michael Pollan's new book, Food Rules: An Eater's Manual.

Time to Come Clean

Well, this is embarrassing.

I did not exercise on the first day of my own Exercise Challenge. I have no good excuse, other than that the day completely got away from me. I will be participating for the rest of the week.

Enough about me. You guys are doing REALLY well with this challenge! I'm uber-impressed by the numbers you're racking up. I might even say it's inspiring...

Let me know how today goes and I'll update everyone's totals.

Four Weeks

It's been four weeks today since my surgery. I weighed in at 237 this morning - 16 pounds lost since Jan. 4th and 29 since October. Yayyyy! I ordered a new pair of jeans as one of my pairs is getting way too big, so that's kind of exciting.

It's been exhausting around here yesterday and today, so I'm pooped and going to bed. G'night, all.