The workouts are going well, although it's disheartening that I have to wear the same maternity stretch pants to the gym every time. And they aren't even loose. MATERNITY PANTS ARE NOT LOOSE AND I AM NO LONGER PREGNANT.

Thinking positive, thinking positive... on the good news front, I've been to two birthday parties lately and didn't have cake at either of them. To be perfectly honest, it was more of a circumstantial victory than a self-control victory in both cases. But hey, I'll take it.

I'm planning meals this week and cooking more, adding more vegetables through salads and soups. The scale hasn't budged, but I think bloating may be the culprit. We'll see in a few days, I guess.

Reasons to be strong and healthy

The first trip back to the gym coincided with my son's first day of first grade. Lots of new beginnings around here. I was apprehensive about going back to the gym, but my trainer greeted me so warmly I immediately felt happy to be back on the path to good health. I'm going twice this week, twice next week and some walking added in. Then I'll step it up to three or four days a week.

My weight hasn't changed - I still weigh 260. But I do feel like I'm on my way, making progress in small ways.

Curbing my eating is incredibly difficult for me. I am taking little steps -- no wine on weeknights, cutting wayyyy back on fast food (aiming to avoid it altogether), buying lots of vegetables and fruit. I found a case of Progresso vegetable soups at Costco today that said 0 Weight Watchers points. That'll help fill out portions that seem small to me. For some reason, I'm just not ready to join Weight Watchers and really commit to the food part. I'll get there, just not yet.

At the same time, I often find myself thinking of the many, many reasons to lose weight. There was the woman on the Today show a couple weeks ago who had a heart attack at 32. And that was after she'd already lost 80 pounds. I worry about situations in which my children would need me to carry them to safety or run with them - I wouldn't last very long.

Of the people who've died of swine flu, many had what health officials called "underlying conditions" that put them in greater jeopardy from the virus. One of those underlying conditions appears to be obesity. I can't imagine dying from being fat, and leaving my children motherless because I can't stop eating.