I live in a town where virtually no one is fat, and certainly not obese. Maybe some of the 50- and 60-something women have the usual 15ish pounds to lose, but very few women my age are truly overweight. Quite the opposite, they are toned and tanned and coiffed.
So I am definitely an aberration in my town. Even in my family there are clear delineations when it comes to weight. My dad and his side of the family have always had weight problems. My mom is uber-thin (my sister teasingly calls her Lexi Anorexi), my sister is very thin and my brother has gone from stringbean to puffy and back a few times but generally is really fit.
My husband weighs 168 and hasn't varied from that by more than four pounds in the ten years I've known him. He weighs himself every day and when it's at the higher end of his allowable spectrum, he cuts back for a few days. End of story. Needless to say, I find this amazing.
On one hand, all these healthy-weight people are a constant reminder that I am not normal, and while most people can hide their issues, my "secret" weakness is broadcast to all by my heft. On the other hand, I think it's good for me to not be lulled into a false comfort by seeing overweight people all around me.
What kind of environment do you live in? Do you think it helps or hurts your weight-loss efforts?
Note: I had the Hubs pack up all the chocolate kisses in the house and take them to work. Getting it out of the house is half the battle, right?
I think I live in a 'mixed' weight enviorment..enough to see both ends of the spectrum ..
ReplyDeleteMy family is also a good mix of weights and I've never felt like the 'fat' lady in the room. Even if I was.. nobody made me feel that way..
My mom has always been tiny and she's always tried to give me suggested advice to weightloss.. but doesn't harp on it or pick on me..She's excited to see me get this surgery and have some help on shedding some pounds.. she's a great cheerleader!
And Kristin .. I can so relate to the hubby thing.. he's playing a 'biggest loser' type game at work .. and he's cut out soda and dropped six lbs already!? I wish I could cut one thing out like that and drop 6lbs!! Sheesh.
:0)
Good job on kicking those kisses out of the house!! As far as my enviroment my BF is a super fit guy who works out 5 days a week and is training for a 100 mile bike ride, my BF down here is a size 8. My BF at home has gained some weight due to grad school and everywhere I have lived it has always been mixed. I have always been the heavy one but no one ever guessed how heavy I really was. Thank goodness for this band, I may be able to be out on our boat this summer and no be self concious the entire time, hating the way I look compared to everyone else.
ReplyDeleteWhat a great observation. I've often thought about it. I've decided that part of the reason I let myself go to such an extent was that I fit in with the people around me. My mother, sister, aunts and grandma were all overweight and on diets my whole life. I also
ReplyDeletework in a small office and everyone is morbidly obese. As I type this, the woman next to me is eating cookies for breakfast.
Proof of this environment theory is that in a branch office, there are 3 girls, 2 petite women & 1 overweight girl. She came to work in this office for a few days and said she finally felt at home. At the other office she had to try to eat less and/or not eat things so she would not be given the 'look'. (You know, why are YOU eating that? Really, do you need that cookie or extra piece of pizza?)
Oh, and the husband thing - why can't we have metabolism like that? Grrrr..mine is now losing weight because I was w/in 3 lbs. of his weight. I guess It shocked him. lol He's dropped 5 lbs. in 2 weeks b/c he cut out sugar and soda!
What I thought was very interesting is the idea that our "secret weakness" is out there for everyone to see. Everyone has problems, but if you drink or do other things...no one has to know. If your issues are about food, it becomes fodder for public consumption.
ReplyDeleteKristin - you're so right about the environment. My husband's family is all thin and fit, and in fact, quite frequently dog on fat people? "How can they let themselves get to that point?" "Why don't they just stop eating?"
ReplyDeleteI always dreaded what they'd say when it came time for us to have kids and I would be overweight. I knew it was coming. They still talk about the fat people, but for some reason never talked about me.
Since we told them about my surgery, they haven't asked ONE SINGLE QUESTION. It's like they don't even want to address it. They know they have to keep the kids for the 4 days we're gone, but they don't seem to care one bit about me and what I'll be going through. I know they have no clue how the band works, and it seems like they'd prefer to just keep it that way. Really, it makes me sad.
But, if my in laws were all overweight, and didn't subconsciously make me feel bad about my weight, I probably wouldn't care. I'd just keep going on being fat forever.
I live with a naturally thin man, and both my boys, so far, are naturally thin as well. However, my mum, and most of my friends are fatties. And at the beginning of all this, one of them said to me "you doing this will be good for all of us", because it's true...we naturally do enable each other to eat. But really, since I started, it hasn't turned out to be good for anybody but me. I have to be very very careful, and very very good ALL the time.
ReplyDeleteGood for you for getting it OUT of the house!!! Stay strong!!
Very interesting Kristin. I live in the land of the not only thin, but super fit. (At least they are not coiffed!) Not only the superfit, but the super-athletic. Everyone runs marathons or does some other amazing thing.
ReplyDeleteIt has been hard for me, but I think if I lived in a "fatter" environment I just would have gotten bigger and bigger. By staying active and exercising, even while fat, I was able to stay in "regular" sizes - if 18/20/XL are "regular" anyway. I can thank this active and healthy town for keeping a few pounds off!
Funny, Oprah once visited our small ski town, and did a show about our area. She walked down main street and her first comment was "OMG, there are no fat people here!" LOL so true (except a few Texas tourists maybe).
As for my family - that is a whole other blog. Ugh. Mom with major weight and eating disorder issues. One brother slightly overweight most of his life, one brother always fit and athletic. One big but very in shape husband (around 230 pounds). Two skinny sons, one daughter who loves to eat and is starting to pay - just in time for her teens. I worry about her. She has the same attraction to food as me - and I remember my issues started right about her age (12-13). It is really upsetting. Like I said, a whole other blog post.
Thanks for posting this and good job getting the chocolate kisses out of the house! One day, believe it or not, you will peacefully coexist. I kid you not! In fact, I need to post about how I am living with Girl Scout cookies in my house without scarfing them down for the first time in my life!
Hey Kristin.. you know the town I live in.. stick skinny women running to their next spa appointment.. I am truly the abberation in my neighborhood.. and the truth is I work only because I do not know when my husband's health is going to go south.. It's scary..
ReplyDeleteI know that some people think fat people have low self esteem, but let me tell you I think the uber skinny may have the same issues..
I used to let that crap bother me.. no more.. but it took me many years to feel that way... be well and good job getting rid of that evilly delicious chocolate..
I grew up in a house where my mother watched our weights like hawks - she was always thin and made sure my sister and I and my father stayed like that.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until we broke away as adults that both my sister and I started to gain weight. New brides, cooking etc.. add kids to the mix and it gets worse.
I live with a man (MOTH) who is 'normal' weight. When I met him neither of us were overweight - in fact he was downright thin. He padded up a little over the years but it's just filling out - he looks great whereas I just kept going OOMPA LOOMPA like. Now I am back (almost) to the way I was 20 years ago - and none of my children are overweight. I just hope they also stay like this when they break away. I have never been as strict as my mother (hence rebelling food wise) so hopefully they won't have anything to go against. Great post, Kristen x
We live in a an area where most people are average weight but there are quite a few large people too...My mother put me a diet at 8 because she thought she was fat when she was young. Neither were true and so the distorted view of my body started......
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