Whiny McWhinerson

That's me today - whine, whine, whine. I don't feel well, I miss eating toast when I have a stomach bug, I'm tired despite having two (2!) naps, I'm hungry but nothing seems good to me and I've only had 515 calories today and about 700 yesterday but the scale hasn't moved in two days.

I want chocolate. Real chocolate, not sugar-free pudding (which isn't bad, but isn't quite what I'm going for).

I know this band is going to be a great thing for me. It already is - I've lost 13 pounds in 16 days, and 26 pounds total on this journey.

I'm still having a hard time letting go of my old eating habits, though. I haven't eaten anything that isn't allowed on my postop instructions, and I've definitely been within my calorie limits, but boy I still want want want to have the things I used to have.

This is really hard. And I'm not liking it very much today.

UPDATE: I had 0.5 oz of M&Ms. Satisfied my chocolate craving. Counted the calories in my log. Feeling just fine with it.

First Doctor Visit

I think I may have a stomach bug. Yesterday and today I am EXHAUSTED, way more than normal. I could just sleep and sleep and sleep. I've been nauseated on and off. I also feel on the verge of tears.

My visit with the surgeon was fine, nothing exciting. Everything's healing well, he was very happy with my weight loss and scheduled me for a barium swallow and first fill in three weeks.

Here's the problem: The hubs is traveling that day, and I need him to do the school runs/ child care. Now I have to reschedule it which isn't so easy because it means coordinating the surgeon's schedule with the radiology department's schedule AND with the hubs' travel schedule. Sigh.

In short, a blah kind of day.

Counting Calories

I know the band is supposed to free me from dieting and calorie counting, but keeping track of my calorie intake has been oddly comforting for me. I guess it's because I can see that I'm satisfied on so many fewer calories than pre-band. I've been faithfully measuring and weighing to make sure I relearn appropriate portion sizes.

We had 15 members of the hubs' family over on Sunday for Chinese takeout, the Golden Globes red carpet and some football (on the smaller kitchen TV - big TV reserved for red carpet fashions, obvs). Not many of them know about the band, so I wasn't sure how it would go.

I don't really like Chinese food and they all know that, so I don't think it was too strange that I made a separate dinner for myself. I had a glass of wine, a cube of port salut (soft) cheese and 1/4 c. of ricotta with 1/2 c. of tomato sauce baked in the toaster oven (yum!). I faithfully logged everything and came in just under my 1000 calorie self-limit for the day. Very happy about that.

Yesterday was fun and relaxing. The hubs and I saw Sherlock Holmes, I did a little cooking and everyone just chilled and played.

I woke up with my fingers all crazy swollen, and the scale showed me up .5 pound. Lousy piece of... ;) Since I could barely get my rings on, I'm assuming it's all water retention, so drinking lots today and hoping to pee it all out soon.

Thanks to everyone who answered my question yesterday about whether your significant other or family reads your blog. My husband said he's happy for me to use this as a place to vent, ask questions and hang with the band girls without worrying that he'll be checking in.

Tomorrow is my first follow-up visit with the surgeon. Wondering when he'll schedule my first fill...

Question of the Day

Good morning everyone!

My husband knows I have a blog, but so far he hasn't read it. I'd be happy for him to read it in a month or two, when I'm a little further down the scale, but for now I feel awkward having him know how much I weigh. He's been supportive and encouraging through this whole process, but I just feel like the numbers are too much information at this point.

Question of the Day: Do your spouses/significant others/family members know about your blog, and do they read it?

Restriction... I Think

I keep hearing about Bandster Hell, and I am terrified of it and dreading it, because I have no willpower. Seriously. None. That's why I got this thing in the first place.

Tomorrow marks two weeks since my surgery and I seem to have some restriction. Maybe it's some residual swelling from surgery? I don't care, I'm just happy. I am honestly not very hungry (watch, tomorrow I'll wake up starving), and when I am hungry I'm satisfied by very small portions - 1/4 c. cottage cheese, 1/4 c. yogurt, 6 oz. tomato soup or a protein shake.

I've been tracking my calories on Lose It!, because at my support group meeting the social worker mentioned we should be shooting for 850-900 calories during the early healing/weight loss stage. I realized I didn't know how many calories I'd been taking in (although I was still on clear liquids, so no big worries there).

On Monday I had about 1,100 calories. On Tuesday it was 983, and stayed below that Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday and Saturday I didn't even hit 700 calories. Today I'm back up to almost a thousand.

I really wasn't restricting calories, just logging what I ate. I ate (drank) when I was hungry, stopped when I was full, and was satisfied.

What a crazy concept.

I'm officially on mushies now, so I imagine it will be harder to keep the calories on the low end since I have so many more foods to choose from. I'm planning to ride this wave as long as I can, though.

~ Dos Caminos ~

Today was my first real post-band restaurant experience. I was in New York City with a friend (looking for her wedding dress, yay)! After shlepping around SoHo we stopped in for a late brunch at Dos Caminos. I was there in mid-December and ate nearly everything on my plate, plus chips, salsa and guacamole.

Boy, was today different.

First of all, I haven't had any food I could chew until today. I found a dish on the menu with poached eggs and swiped some of my friend's black beans (don't know if they were refried or just mashed, but they were mushy - perfect texture).

It was great, and it was tough.

What I ordered: Quesadilla Benedict - ham, cheese and black bean quesadilla, poached eggs, roasted poblano hollandaise. My meal came with a huge portion of breakfast potatoes on the side.

What I ate: one poached egg and about a tablespoon of black beans, plus half a forkful of guacamole. I was full after that, truly full. But that doesn't mean I was mentally ready to stop eating.

What I wanted to eat: All of it. Seriously. It looked sooooo good. Lucky for me, all of your blogger voices and advice (SLOW. TEENY BITES. STOP EARLY) were reverberating in my mind, and good sense prevailed. I stopped.

It's a whole new world.

It Fits!!

MY ENGAGEMENT RING FITS!!!!

Based on the scale reading this morning, I retrieved it from the safe it's been hiding in for more than a year. My fingers swelled during pregnancy last year and then I never lost enough weight for my ring to fit. I tried it a couple of times, but no go. Today it slid right on. (Wedding ring is 1/2 size bigger, so it fit sooner.)

This was the first goal I really wanted to hit, so I'm thrilled.

I {Heart} My Scale, and Question of the Day

I can't even believe I was talkin' trash about my poor scale. It went back and forth, back and forth the other day and then today consistently put me down another two pounds.

I LOVE THAT THING!

I did go to Bed, Bath & Beyond to pick up another, supplemental, scale that has more precise measurements. I'm totally sure this won't end up being some kind of unhealthy obsession, hmmmm.

The eating (drinking) is going well, I'm still working my way through an indulgent nonfat orange mango banana Starbucks Vivanno (260 cal, 15g protein, although I ask for extra protein powder) that I picked up a couple of hours ago.

So here's the thing: I'm 11 days post surgery and I feel good, just about back to normal but maybe a little more tired. I do not, however, have **any** desire to exercise at all right now. I have a pretty good exercise history. In my 20s, I walked and then trotted and then started full-out jogging. I ran a marathon, joined the New York Road Runners club and did a bunch of races with them. I have almost always maintained (and used) a gym membership. In 2004, I trained for and finished three triathlons.

I am still so tired, though. The thought of starting to exercise at this high weight (243 today) just makes me want to go to bed.

Question of the day: When did you start exercising?

UPDATE: Had to ditch the new scale. It turned on once, gave me a helluva scare (+3 pounds!) and then refused to turn back on. That's what I get for trying to do the two-scale thing. Lesson learned.

O Beano, Where Art Thou?

Hi everyone! Great day here, my pain has mostly subsided, even the shoulder pain.

I am LOVING the Lose It! app on my phone, it's so easy to keep track of how many calories and protein grams I'm taking in. So far today I've had 817 calories, and I may or may not have some Jello before bed. I'm currently obsessed with Chobani nonfat yogurt with a spoonful of honey. Yummm.

The only bummer today: I blended up a can of black bean soup and split it between lunch and dinner. Great, except I need to get some Beano reallllly soon. My husband is lucky he's 3,000 miles away because it's rumbly in my tummy.

Sorry, that's really bad manners. I am totally uncouth.

As always, thanks for stopping by. Have a great night - you guys are the best!

Hinky Scale - What Kind Do You Have?

My scale was all kinds of hinky this morning. And I'm not just saying that because it wasn't showing the 105 I think it should show.

I have a THINNER brand (ha!) digital that goes in .5 pound increments. We've had it for, I don't know, eight or nine years? Something like that. I can step on it five times in a row and get five different weights. Usually within a two-pound range, but now that I am watching so closely, two pounds makes a difference.

This morning I got on the scale a few times and it showed two pounds down, then 1.5 pounds down, then the same as Sunday and then 1 pound down. I had my son get on it a few times and his weight was consistent. Then I got on it again twice and it showed 1 pound down, so I gave myself credit for the 1 pound.

All this is to say: Do you have a scale you really like? If you do, what brand is it? I might be in the market for a new one.

On the recovery front, I feel just about normal today. No pain meds at all yesterday or today, and my port incision doesn't sting like the dickens when I bend over. Yay for normal!