Gilly's Fancy Water

I'm not sure what to write today.

I'm kind of in negative Nellie mode right now.

One of the things I loved so much about having the band was not having to spend so much time thinking about my weight and what I eat and all that. So I'm kind of down that I'm feeling the anxiety creep back into my mind about my weight. I'm stuck, I've been stuck for months and I'm disappointed.

My weight is fluctuating by two pounds, up and down, up and down. My band is on the tighter side but if I think about it I'm really not being as careful as I need to be with small bites and proper chewing. I can eat solids without a problem, so I think some back-to-basics training is in order.

On a happier note, I've been quite enjoying a recipe Gilly gave me, so I'll share it with all of you:

GILLY'S FANCY SPA WATER
Slice one lemon thinly, then peel 1/2 a cucumber and slice it thinly. Grate 1 tbsp of ginger. Throw all of that in 2 litres of water and let it sit overnight. Then drink it.

Piling On the Pounds

I swear, *swear* to you that I am not eating enough to pile on the pounds. Yet today I weighed 208.2. F-ing nightmare. My fingers are swollen and I feel bloaty and I was so tight I threw up two (2) bites of beans that I was eating for lunch.

My band and I, we are NOT getting along this week.

Cyclical Tightness

Wanna hear something weird? My band snaps closed when I ovulate. Isn't that strange? I'm not dreaming it, it really does happen.

Today was ovulation day, and I could barely get down some blended black bean soup at lunch. Tonight I'm 45 minutes into dinner and still haven't finished my artichoke. I don't think I'll make it to the protein.

I did manage to eat three double-stuf Oreos. It's a stress item - the school district has already declared a snow day for tomorrow. We're supposed to get walloped by the storm coming up the east coast. The boys are such fun ages (eight and five) to do snow days with, but the toddler is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde - you never know what you're gonna get.

So tomorrow we will organize and clean and play outside and drink hot cocoa and watch a video and do some exercising and wrap up homework and maybe cook something to kill some time. Homemade pizza, anyone?

To add insult to injury, I weighed in at 205.8 today. My fingers were swollen, so I know a lot of it is water. But still. IRRITATING.

Oh, and my surgeon appointment was canceled because he got stuck in the OR. But that was fine with me because it gave me extra time to get a manicure buy more emergency bread, eggs and milk.

EDITED TO ADD: I threw up the half an artichoke and half a glass of wine that took me two hours to eat. Disgusting, and uncomfortable. I'm heading to bed and hoping for a little more breathing room tomorrow.

Weekend Wrap-Up

Because I can't think of a whole lot else to talk about. This morning's weigh-in was two pounds less than a week ago, so that's good. But I've been plus or minus two pounds so often lately that I hesitate to believe it.

This morning I weighed in at 204.6. I go see my surgeon tomorrow for a monthly checkup, and I'm planning to ask about the reflux issues then. I'll report back on that.

Hubs and I had a great date night on Saturday; we saw The King's Speech (loved it), and then went to a cozy Indian restaurant and Discussed Our Finances and Prioritized Our House Projects List over awesome paneer tikka masala. Which was more fun than it sounds.

I ordered a size 14 bathing suit from Lands' End today. I got an email offer for 25% off any item over $50, so even though I'm pretty sure it won't quite fit yet, I think it'll end up being a wise buy.

Freaking Out a Little About the Reflux Chatter

So I'm reading about Amy and Gen having serious relux problems, and other people are weighing in with their problems. And Sally had her band removed.

This is freaking me out.

I've had heartburn, but almost exclusively during pregnancy. It resolved itself once my babies were born, except for right before my band surgery. Turned out I had a little hernia that my doctor stitched while he was placing my band and I haven't had heartburn since surgery.

If you're reading this and you've had problems with reflux since surgery, can you please mention in the comments: date of your surgery; approximate date of reflux onset; doctor's recommendation for treatment; and whether it has resolved.

Thanks for your input. It's not scientific, but I'd like to see if there are any obvious trends.

The Bean Report

Thanks for your tips, I did end up dumping the soaking water and then boiled the beans in water with a bay leaf and a little chili powder. Once they were definitely done, I put them away till dinnertime. At dinner I sauteed some onion and garlic, added the beans and seasoned with salt, pepper and more chili powder. Then I sprinkled some cheese on top with a dollop of the yogurt.

The beans weren't awesome. Definitely not as good as the ones I get at the cantina in town, and nowhere near as good as the ones at Dos Caminos.

Can you give me your bean recipes? Especially red beans (kidney or pinto?) and black beans.

I do think Beano is helpful, and my mom swears by it. It's an enzyme that neutralizes the gas. Or something. You can learn more here: Beano has a "University of Gas" series of videos to explain the ins and outs of flatulence. Yes, really.

Ooooh, and I forgot to mention my other favorite use for Greek yogurt: I really love chip and veggie dips, and now I add the mix to yogurt instead of sour cream and I have a high-protein snack with cukes or peppers. Love!

Greek Yogurt and Beans

This will be news to absolutely nobody, but Greek yogurt is so versatile! No, really, it's true! Yesterday I decided to kick up my protein and went through a lot of Greek yogurt, with both good and so-so results.

I haven't made Nicole's chicken salad in a while, so I roasted a chicken breast in the toaster oven with salt and pepper (and a drizzle of olive oil), then diced the meat and mixed it with scallions, salt, pepper and Greek yogurt. Delish. That was a win. I have more for lunch this week.

Then I tried the Barefoot Contessa's mustard-roasted fish, but substituted yogurt for the creme fraiche in the recipe. As I feared, the yogurt curdled. It tasted virtually the same (really good) but I'm not sure my husband would go for curdled yogurt fish. And I can't really blame him. I did a little research, and apparently full-fat yogurt is less likely to curdle.

I'm on a bean kick lately. Beans are the perfect food, full of protein and fiber. (Also in love with Beano, btw.) I've never cooked dried beans before, but I'm giving it a try today.

I soaked the beans overnight, but when I looked online there didn't seem to be any consensus about whether to change the water (pro: gets rid of the gassiness; con: loses nutrients, flavor and color) or how long to cook them. Almost every recipe I found uses canned beans. Right now I have them simmering on the stovetop with a bay leaf and some chili powder in the water. My friend advises me not to salt them until they're finished cooking, as the salt makes them too tough.

Naturally, I am planning to top my cooked beans with a dollop of Greek yogurt instead of sour cream. Stay tuned for the results of that experiment.

In other news, thanks to all of you for the anniversary wishes. Your comments lifted my day. I'm planning a one-year photo post. Probably just as soon as I finish sending my Christmas cards.

ONE YEAR

It's been a year since my surgery on Jan. 4th. I've lost 60+ pounds, depending on the day. It's not what I had hoped to lose in the first year, and doesn't come close to what some lapbanders lose in that time frame. But I'm grateful for those pounds, and eager to continue losing.

A few things that have changed this year:

* I am free of the foot and ankle pain that was becoming debilitating. When I stand up, I don't walk funny. I can stand up from the floor with no problem. I can run upstairs without getting winded, and I can walk down the stairs without gripping the banister.

* As promised, my hair fell out in gobs. It's just starting to come back in, but it's still thin and I don't like it at all. I hope the volume comes back.

* I am far more confident and social than I was this time last year; consequently, I'm having a lot more fun these days.

* I am largely free of the psychic burden I carried from failing so often at weight loss. My outlook on my life and my future has changed a lot, for the better.

* I have more energy.

* I'm starting to shop in 'normal' stores, although I'm still kind of straddling the fat-girl/normal shopping world.

* I can cross my legs. Comfortably.

* I snore a lot less at night.

* I am not worried I will break a chair, beach or otherwise.

* I am incredibly grateful to all my blog friends for your support, guidance, good humor and encouragement this year.

I would like to have lost more. In my poor-me moments, I slip into bad habits and focus on the negative. But the thing is, we all know the band isn't a solution, it's a tool. You have to do the work. I did some work, but not nearly as much as I could have. So it's no mystery to me why I haven't lost more weight.

My 38th birthday is Jan. 25th. I'd love to be below 200 by then. I've been dancing around these scale numbers for months now. I'm gunning for 199 by the 25th. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Happy 2011!

And whooooosh, just like that the holidays are over. Thank God, because I'm exhausted.

We just wrapped up a two-day entertaining marathon; we had friends here from 5 pm on the 31st until 7 pm on the 1st. We had a New Year's open house yesterday for about 55 guests. It was great, I had cooked a lot for New Year's Eve so I just ordered bagels, deli trays and quiche for the brunch. I mixed a couple pitchers of mimosas, we set up the playroom so the kids could shriek to their hearts' content and not disturb the grownups, and it was a lot of fun.

Both New Year's Eve and yesterday my band was super tight. I had an unpleasant stuck episode on a piece of lump crabmeat. Otherwise, it was probably a blessing, because I wasn't hungry and was able to talk with guests and refill drinks and platters without stopping to eat. I didn't weigh myself this morning but I've been holding steady, which is pretty good given the amount of food we've had moving through here this week.

One quick band note: I worked really hard, cooking up a storm on the 31st and then stayed up till midnight and woke up yesterday to get ready for another party. I was a little fatigued, but I had plenty of energy to get through the day and really enjoy it, and that *never* would have happened 63 pounds ago. (Today's another story. Today, I'm tired.)

I'm Blogging More Often

... Even if I don't have anything super interesting to say. Sorry about that.

My band is still fairly tight, but I'm able to eat solids and trying to do the protein thing. Got on the scale this morning and it said 211 point something (can't remember what because of the shock of 211). I hopped off and back on again and I miraculously lost six pounds in 45 seconds. The scale was consistent in the 205 range as I jumped on and off a few times. But then I was paranoid so I went to our backup scale which agreed with the 205 reading. Whew.

I had lunch the other day with a friend whose mother-in-law had lapband surgery a few years ago. "Do you throw up at every meal?" she asked. WHAAA? NO. WAY. I told her I get sick maybe once every three or four weeks, and it's almost always a traumatic and miserable experience. She said her mother-in-law had lost a lot of weight but gets sick at every meal. Even if she just gets sick every day rather than every meal, can you imagine the toll that takes on your body over a period of years? Egad. My esophagus is sore just thinking about it.

Do any of you get sick every day? I do think I keep my band on the looser side because I'm such a wuss about the getting sick part, and I'm sure that has slowed down my weight loss (well, that plus the lack of exercise. and the chocolate.). But I cannot imagine getting sick every day. I feel awful for her.