I've read a few blogs lately where relationships are shifting as a result of this huge weight loss we're all experiencing. I commented on one that it's kind of like when the Cold War ended and all of a sudden all hell broke loose in Eastern Europe.
For many of us, our weight was the Soviet Union, the #1 concern of our daily lives. We still functioned and worked and had friendships and vacations and took care of our families, but the general focus of many of our thoughts was weight, our frustration with it, the things we were missing out on because of it, etc.
As the weight falls away, the New World Order emerges and we begin to focus on other areas of our lives (Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia, I'm looking at you!). That's when we realize that resolving the BIG ISSUE doesn't magically solve the other problems in our lives, including relationship problems that may have been lurking under the surface.
Most of us have read or heard from our surgeons that divorce rates are higher for WLS patients. Sometimes it's because the patient decides s/he *can* do better and doesn't have to spend the rest of her life in a bad situation, sometimes it's because the spouse can't cope with the massive change. Sometimes the patient goes crazy and wants to have the 20s she never had, drinking and partying and flirting.
Every relationship has its ups and downs. If your relationships is rock-solid before you lose weight, you'll be even better afterward because you'll be happier which will make your partner happier. On the other side, if cracks are showing they could easily turn into fault lines.
Now, don't go thinking I'm divorcing my husband and running off with the mailman. We've been married for nine years and we love each other. No relationship is perfect, but I don't see any major problems arising from my weight loss. I wonder sometimes how it might affect us, though. Pretty sure the Hubs is hoping it means he scores more often.
I do think this is important enough to discuss here, though. That's why I'm writing about it today, and I want to hear what you all think about it.
Have you run into this? Does it concern you? If you have experienced this, what did you do to shore up your relationship?
