Playing Dress-Up

My daughter is completely obsessed with my husband, and at 20 months old she is *extremely* persistent. So if he's trying to, say, build a car with our 8-year-old for the Cub Scout Pinewood Derby, I need to take her elsewhere in the house and distract her.

Last night the two of us went through things in my closet and tried on old dresses I haven't worn in ages. Guess what? Some of them fit, and all of them zipped. Sweeeeet. There's a sundress hanging in my closet that I last wore in the summer of 2000 right before Hubs and I moved in together. It fits, although it'll look better in a few pounds. (Daughter is a withering judge. "No," she said, glancing up as I oohed and aahed while zipping a dress. Can't wait to hear what she has to say when she can form sentences.) There are also three formal dresses that look pretty decent. Now I just need to find a formal event to wear them to...

Snow and freezing rain here today, so we're hanging around the house. Hubs is traveling again; I swear he's got some kind of sixth sense that allows him to plan trips around snow days. It's uncanny.

I'm making Tater Tot Hot Dish for dinner tonight. It's a fairly band-friendly, mushy dinner, but isn't remotely healthy, which is why I make it just once a year. The recipe is from a midwestern friend I worked with. She always wished someone would open a casserole-only restaurant in New York City. She swore it would be a hit, and based on Tater Tot Hot Dish, I think it would have been. (Stacy has since moved back to Wisconsin, but not before converting lots of New Yorkers to the wonders of hot dish.)

The picture at the top of the post is from my birthday last week. Please note I did not eat the entire dessert by myself. My sister was with me, and actually neither of us finished it. But I love the sombrero candle!

My Legs Are Sore

Not crazy sore. Not just-ran-eight-miles sore (as if!). But definitely just-worked-out sore. I guess that's good.

Seriously, once I was out of bed and in the car (so cooolllld this morning), the rest was cake. I got to the gym and did everything the trainer told me to do and then came home.

I had a nice NSV too. In 2007 I went five days a week at 6 am to get into shape for my sister's wedding. After that, I went sporadically but I had a pregnancy and miscarriage and then another pregnancy and c-section in that period, so it was just once in a while.

This morning one of the trainers I used most often (but was booked this morning) yelled over, "Hey! Where've you been?" I said I'd been home eating bon bons, and he replied, "Doesn't look like it."

So that was the highlight of my gym day, actually.

The Gym

I've had a few workout false starts since my surgery - I'd go back to the gym and then stop after once or twice. Life is just busy enough that it's easy to make excuses and skip the exercise.

My husband asked the other day if I wanted to go back to the gym, and offered to juggle his schedule to cover kid duty and make working out easier for me. So I really don't have a decent excuse anymore.

Tomorrow morning I'll be at the gym at 6 am. I have a trainer appointment to make sure my lazy butt actually gets there.

Wish me luck.

Barbara's Loss

I've been waiting for something meaningful to come to me, but nothing has. So I will just say to Barbara: I'm so sorry. You have my deepest sympathies. I am thinking of you and sending my love.

Linda mentioned this already, but it amazes me how personally I take it when something bad happens to a blog friend. Our circle of support is meaningful to me in real life, and I really didn't anticipate that when I started blogging.

38 38 38 38 38

Well, friends, I weighed in this morning at 205.2. So I didn't meet my goal of weighing 199.8 on my 38th birthday. Which didn't upset me as much as you might think, since I've eaten pretty well lately so I know with all confidence that it's not real pounds.

I've had a great birthday; my sister drove up yesterday from Pennsylvania with her newborn to hang out with me. YAY! We got manicures and had lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant (where I ate a few chips with salsa and half a serving of beans, and boxed the rest up for later). Best time ever.

Which was good, since when I took my first bite of dinner tonight, it became abundantly clear that my band has snapped shut in anticipation of the arrival of my period. (Sorry, Patrick, if you're reading and this is icky to you. Just be glad you're a man.)

Three days from now, I'll be rejoicing at the scale. (I hope.)

At Least It's Moving in the Right Direction

Weighed in at 203.8 today. To be precise, twice at 204 but four times at 203.8 so I'm taking it.

That means four pounds stand between me and my 38th-birthday goal deadline tomorrow. After reading your comments from the last few days, I know you're right - the NSVs all add up to a huge improvement over my 37th birthday. And I'm not beating myself up about the unlikelihood that I'll hit my birthday goal tomorrow. I will get there, and I'm having a pretty good run lately with the band. (That doesn't mean I won't be chugging Gilly's magic spa water like crazy today. Can you blame me? I have to give it a shot.)

Thanks so much to Bec, Annie and Sam for the blog awards - you're so kind. I'm not the most organized person God ever put breath into, so I don't even begin to try keeping track of the details. Thank you, though.

Stay warm, everyone!

Checking In

Not much to report here. 204.4 this morning. Eating pretty well but it'll take a miracle to get to 199.8 by Tuesday morning, especially given my current hormonal status.

C'est la vie.

Better Weigh-In, and Thank You

Got a little love from the scale this morning. I weighed in at 204.4. I have five days to lose 4.6 pounds if I want to make my birthday goal of being under 200.

CAN SHE DO IT?

I don't know. But I'm going to try. Today was a good day, even though I had dinner out with some girlfriends. I had some soup, two scallops and a glass of wine. And peppermint tea. Just perfect.

We're supposed to get more snow tonight. Praying for a delay rather than another full snow day, or these kids will be in school till July. C'mon, Mother Nature, help a mommy out here.

Finally, and most importantly, thanks for all your great encouragement. I feel so much better when I hear that you've been there, or you think I'm doing just fine. It surprises me how much your support helps me, so thank you thank you. You are wonderful.

So Here's the Thing

My band is working: Tonight I would have had a pretty big dinner, but after one tiny slice of brie, six olives and half an artichoke I am filled to the brim. And sliming a little, if you must know. (Aren't you glad I told you?)

This band is keeping me from eating too much, for sure. But somehow I've lost the no-interest-in-food thing, and I'd reallllly like to get it back. Now, if you wouldn't mind. Thanks.

It's so odd. There were a couple of brief periods since I got the band that I wasn't very interested in food, didn't think about it, didn't spend much energy on what I'd eat or couldn't eat or would cook for dinner. I was all, Food as fuel: How it's supposed to be.

But that element - a crucial element of the band experience, as far as I'm concerned - is missing now. It's frustrating.

Also frustrating: I am completely on the razor's edge between fat-girl sizes and regular sizes. I'm wearing size 16 pants; sometimes they're snug; they're definitely not baggy. I bought an XL shirt at Gap, and it's snug. I bought a couple XL shirts at Banana Republic and they look good enough to wear now. I got my size 14 bathing suit and it fits. It'll fit a little better in five pounds, but I could wear it today without blinding fellow beachgoers.

This morning I weighed in at 205.8. Not horrible, but not good. And not close to my goal of 199.8 or lower by my birthday on Tuesday.

Gilly's Fancy Water

I'm not sure what to write today.

I'm kind of in negative Nellie mode right now.

One of the things I loved so much about having the band was not having to spend so much time thinking about my weight and what I eat and all that. So I'm kind of down that I'm feeling the anxiety creep back into my mind about my weight. I'm stuck, I've been stuck for months and I'm disappointed.

My weight is fluctuating by two pounds, up and down, up and down. My band is on the tighter side but if I think about it I'm really not being as careful as I need to be with small bites and proper chewing. I can eat solids without a problem, so I think some back-to-basics training is in order.

On a happier note, I've been quite enjoying a recipe Gilly gave me, so I'll share it with all of you:

GILLY'S FANCY SPA WATER
Slice one lemon thinly, then peel 1/2 a cucumber and slice it thinly. Grate 1 tbsp of ginger. Throw all of that in 2 litres of water and let it sit overnight. Then drink it.