****** NYC BRUNCH: Please see brunch update at right. *********
In looking through my recent posts, there's virtually no substance. I'm not writing about feelings or much about where I am with my band, just a sentence here or quip there with little insight.
Here's where I am: At a standstill, as I have been for six+ months, in a four-pound range between 204 and 208. My measurements are the same as they've been for a few months, although I do think that will change as I continue working out.
Here's what I think about it: It sucks. I am failing at this.
Here's how I feel about it: Depressed. Disappointed. Resigned. Hopeless.
Here's what I'm doing about it: Going to the gym, which is a start but not doing much on the scale. I'm eating way too much sugar, in the form of chocolate. On the upside, my body is sore from good workouts yesterday and this morning, so that's good.
I am seeing so many of you with much success, and I'm thrilled for you. At the same time, I'm so disappointed that I'm just not doing well with this. I'm surprised, I really thought the band would be just what I needed to get myself on track.
When I took that glorious drug Phen-Fen (or was it Fen-Phen?) in the late 90s, I rocked it. I lost 75 pounds in nine months, started running, ran lots of 5ks and 10ks and eventually a full marathon. Food was a nonissue for me during much of that time. I ate, I enjoyed my meals, and that was it. No thinking about food, no inner battles, none of that. It was like the medicine flipped a switch and put me into the 'normal' category with regard to my relationship with food.
One of the frustrations I'm feeling is that right now I have 5.6 cc's in my band. It's tight enough that there are plenty of times when I simply cannot eat anymore, and I stop. I'm disappointed, but I get over it within an hour and then I'm relieved that I didn't overeat.
Sometimes, though, I'm hungry. And when I can't eat it is maddening.
So I don't want to get a fill. 5.75 cc's has twice been wayyy too tight for me, and I've gotten weak and dehydrated.
Where I am now, I can eat solids. I definitely can eat sliders.
I know the things I can do to make this better: Try a five-day pouch test. Cut chocolate out altogether. Focus more on solid protein (I've done okay on this).
Oh, blah. I'm just tired of thinking about this.
Kristin, I know what you mean, Phen fen was that way for me too, but like all things that are easy, it didn't last. I feel like I should be way ahead at this point, but I'm not, sometimes it's hard to not get discouraged, but then I stop and think where I would be without the band, the wine and chocolate and foods that I indulge in but in small amounts would surely be full on binges and in one years time, I would not be down the 55 pounds I am, I'd be up those 55 pounds, just like I was last year. I have to face the facts that this will always be a struggle for me, my desire to eat supercedes all else, it's sad but it's true. But now, I have a little help, and you do too. Stop and take a look at just how far you've come...and see the difference in your life circumstances now as opposed to the Phen Fen era, you're a mom, you are home with the kids, the lure of chocolate is so strong...but you've maintained your weight for 6 months, celebrate that, don't curse it, it's a beautiful thing. You'll get there, so will I, we are just living while we get there and letting our skin catch up (Magical thinking on my part, perhaps, but it works for me, try it!)
ReplyDeleteGiant hug my friend!!!
T
One thing when people are at a stand still, that pops in my mind, is protein intake. How much protein are you getting daily? 80-110g are recommended, post band. There are lots of fabulous chocolate flavored protein bars and shakes out there (my favorite being Pure Protein from Target). Maybe try that? The best of both worlds, right? Going to the gym is a fabulous start back in the right direction. You're doing great, so keep your head up. I certainly understand where your coming from, as I was just there for the past 2 months. No one ever said this would be easy. We're here for you, always! :)
ReplyDeleteHey now...you are NOT failing. You have lost 63 lbs! That is a major accomplishment. I agree with Nikki on the solid protein (not shakes)...increase your intake and you'll see the scale drop. I do when I eat high protein. BIG HUGS! :)
ReplyDeleteDon't be down on yourself at all. You have lost and kept off 63 lbs and that is amazing. I have to agree with everyone who has mentioned increased solid protien intake, as that has been the kicker for me. I don't like to see you down, but know that the weight you have lost and kept off has made you so much healthier. Be proud of your accomplishment, accept the fact that this isn't an easy road for us, but know that you can do it!!
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard to offer advice (and you didnt really ask for it so I dont want to assume) when we are all so different in what works for our bodies. But, you are not failing. You are stuck for sure. But that's not failure. Failure is giving up, eating your way back up, quiting. It doesnt sound like you are doing any of those things. I don't know how many calories you are eating and how much you are working out. But...if what you are doing is not working...you have to switch up your game. Whatever that may mean. Maybe it means journalign and being on a "diet". And I know that the band is not supposed to be like a diet...but maybe to get things moving you need to commit to a month of being as hardcore as you can. If you are working out, what does your calorie burn look like? Are you doing cardio or weights? can you increase your calorie burn? Your water, your protein...etc. You can get over this hump. Think outside the box. Take one day at a time.
ReplyDeleteI know there are lots who are really rocking the band but there are still plenty of us plateaued over this long winter. I am the same weight as I was last September. Still hopeful that I will move lower but not stressing out about it. I was on Fen-Phen (although not the stimulant addition-just the Fen). I slept most of the afternoon and started taking caffeine pills to keep me awake. Alas, as you know once we stopped taking it the weight came back. I've heard great things about the 5 day pouch test so go ahead and give it a try. It might be that little incentive to move downward.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you and feel like I could have written this exact post - right down to the Phen-Fen. I remember thinking to myself while taking it "I guess I should eat something". It's sucks to be stuck but like another commenter said - congrats on the awesome weight you've lost and kept off. The scale will move again one day (I keep telling myself that too:)!).
ReplyDelete(((HUGS))) Everyone's offered wonderful advice and I have none to add except DON'T GIVE UP! You are NOT a failure. Losing 63 lbs is fantastic. Now your body is just telling you that the rest is gonna cling for dear life. LOL. Sounds like you know where you can make improvements. You just have to get motivated to do it. Hang in there and good luck!
ReplyDeleteI think most of us can relate to that Phen-Fen not even giving food a thought feeling. . .
ReplyDeleteI think you have done fantastic - 63 lbs and keeping it off! You just need a spark to get you going again - maybe really focus on high protein/low carb and get all of the chocolate out of your house now for a few weeks b/c you know that Easter is coming.
Also - I think it sounds like a great deal for Brunch! Maybe they could give you 2 different prices - one with the margarita and one without? Or would that get too confusing?
ReplyDeleteGirl I can feel your pain. I am fighting my way off this plateau that I have been stuck on for a while. I think as long as you are thinking about it and holding yourself accountable and making changes, then you are moving in the right direction. Be nice to yourself, you have done an amazing job!
ReplyDeleteHello Sweetie.. First you are not alone .. you have all of these wonderful friends here to remind you of that and each one can relate to each step of this journey.
ReplyDeleteI know you may cringe when you read this.. but have you tried tracking your daily protein.. honestly.. WL is one big math problem, that is influenced by simple carbs, fat g and sodium. Some one above mentioned the protein as well.. and from everything I have read.. the body needs a certain amount of protein.. if it doesn't get it from food it will still get it.. but it will come from your body muscle, and when that happens it throws the whole body out of synce.. the body likes to be in balance. I know this may be annoying to read.. but its scientific fact.
You dont want to lose muscle you want to lose fat, so you are exercising which builds muscle.. but the body needs protein to build that muscle.. are you giving your body enough fuel to handle that demand.
I hope I am not being imposing about my opinion here but my guess is that you truly monitor your protein over the next week and strive to get the required grams in you WILL see that scale move.. for one protein takes up room in the gut, and if you make that your first priority.. there really wont be room for other food choices.. hugs Kristin.. I really want you to be happy.. and enjoy this journey.
You my friend are the furthest thing from a failure that anyone can be...you're just in a slump. You and I joined the gym at exactly the same time...very very long after having been banded. Keep it up and perhaps try a low carb lifestyle for some time...I know that usually gets me into gear when I'm stalled.
ReplyDeleteHang in there baby doll.
It gets so tiring doesn't it? Band or no band - food and eating and working out is ALWAYS on our minds and I hate that. It is the LAST thing I want to think about and work on. I need to accept it is as much a part of life as breathing...and find a way to conquer it - in MY own way. You can do this too...try something different each week - and see what works. You can do this.
ReplyDeleteRest assured, you are not alone :o) I am aiming to up my protein intake to help get my back on track. Along with the gym thing as well :o) Here's to us getting back on track!!
ReplyDeleteI'm probably here with the MOST horrible suggestion: go back to your doctor-- and talk to them about what is happening. You are clearly not in the "Green" zone, and remember: the band is there to help you make it happen.
ReplyDeleteMy take: if you get yourself a bit of an adjustment (tighter maybe?) -- then maybe your eating will be more limited, and you'll stick with soups, liquids and some more weight might come off?
This may sound horrible, but I think it is what may have done the trick to move me off of a 2 month plateau back in later 2010.
Whatever you decide to do: you are NOT a failure.
But I do agree with you that you need to post about these feelings and about your weight loss struggles, instead of glossing over it. We're here for you and want to help. The more you let yourself focus on the issues, I hope, the easier it will be to keep coming up with novel solutions until you pass this plateau.
I KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
You are not a failure, but you have every right to feel down. I'm sure 99% of us have felt the same. You are doing the right things, exercising and identifying that maybe too much chocolate has slipped into your diet.
ReplyDeleteI am in a super plateau, so I'm not really one to give advice, but you can get through it. I think everyone's advice to get back to protein is good and something I'm trying to do. You have done a great job so far and will get past this.
Thanks for all your hard work on the brunch I'm so excited.