I'm Tweaking My Goal

When I saw my surgeon today, he asked if I had a specific goal weight in mind. I said I'd officially be out of the 'overweight' category at 145, according to the BMI chart. But I've never weighed 145 in my adult life, so I'm not all that confident I'll get there.

Dr. M said he thinks 160 is a good goal, I would be pretty healthy at that weight and if I keep losing beyond that point, great. But if I stayed between 160-165, he said that would be a really solid goal.

So I'm changing my ticker to reflect the new goal. Which is kind of exciting because now I have even less to lose before goal! I'll keep 145 as an aspirational goal, but I won't drive myself nuts trying to get there if I find I taper off at 160 or in the 150s.

Also, I did mention to my doctor that I had a terrible time getting in touch with him when I was overfilled earlier this month. I told him exactly how I had tried to get in touch, and he seemed surprised when I explained I called the office three times and his service once over the course of 24 hours. He said he must not have gotten the evening page, and he apologized for not having gotten back to me.

Oh, and the storm? The one that brought warning after warning and cancellation of all activities? Hasn't hit yet.

The Storm's A-Comin'

Apparently we are on the verge of getting a huge wind storm. So big that the public schools are dismissing an hour early and canceling all after-school activities, causing mothers everywhere to scramble afternoon plans to pick up our children. I also just got a reverse-911 robocall from the town warning me to expect downed trees, road closures and flooding.

Where I live, a big wind storm means we are going to lose power. Fo sho'. We lose power when a light summer breeze passes through town, so I am just praying that all the chicken stock I made and froze on Monday doesn't end up going bad. I'm heading out now to get some more flashlights because ours are for shit.

I got a fill today, back up to 5.5, which is 0.25 cc's less than when I was overfilled. I haven't tried to drink anything yet, busy day, but I'm hoping all goes well since it seems I'll be preoccupied with other matters for the next 48 hours.

I had lost a few pounds before I got sick from the overfill, then lost a lot from being dehydrated, then gained some back from the unfill. Today when I weighed in, I weighed exactly what I weighed when I got the fill that proved to be too much. So the whole experience netted me exactly zero pounds lost between Sept. 2 and Sept. 30.

Here's hoping October is a more productive band month for me.

Wow.

What a weekend. I can't imagine any scenario in which I could have had more fun or felt more relaxed or, or, or...

It was awesome, and everyone was great and it was like walking into a party where you know every single person. I got all teary in the airport on the way home thinking how amazing it was to be with so many people who understand where I've been without having to explain anything.

Thank you to the planners who spent sooooo many hours making sure everything would be perfect for us. It really was. I love the t-shirt and the goody bag and the wine and the Friday mixer and the Saturday dinner and the karaoke craziness and the Chicago architecture and all of you. You are just as fabulous as I hoped you'd be.

Three More Days... Three More Days!

So I found a dress. I tried it on without Spanx and it's a little snug but it's really pretty and I can wear it for the wedding in October as well as in Chicago.

Frankly, there's nothing worse than a fat girl in a too-tight dress, so I'm bringing a backup and I will rely on some of you to tell me the *truth* if it's not quite ready for prime time. Still need to figure out shoes and accessories. I am terrible at accessorizing. I wear the same earrings and my wedding rings every single day. I don't even wear a watch anymore.

Here's an interesting little tidbit for those of us with Allergan bands: My mom has Allergan product(s) - her new boobs, acquired last spring - and she keeps getting all kinds of free stuff from them. Lots of cosmetic samples, Latisse, that kind of thing. I also have an Allergan product, and I have gotten jack shit on a stick from Allergan. Not even a postcard. What's up with that?

Cat Bites, New Tires and the ER. All in One Day.

I was all set to do some shopping to find a dress for Saturday that will also work for a wedding in October. Never made it further than the local Toyota dealership, which sucked up two and a half hours to diagnose my tire pressure problem and prescribe two new tires. Could have had a reallllly nice dress for five hundred ninety seven dollars.

This evening, as we were saying goodbye to a friend of older son's who was here playing, Cooper the neighborhood cat wandered into the front yard and the kids went over to say hello. He's a friendly guy, belongs to the family down the street, and often comes to hang in our yard for a couple days at a time. He also sometimes walks with us to and from the bus stop, rubbing against our legs while we walk.

For some reason, when younger son petted him today, Cooper nipped him and left two puncture wounds in younger son's hand.

Have you ever googled "cat bites" before? Don't, because you will immediately drop dead from panic. Cat bites have a high infection rate, and there is always the rabies concern. Which is exacerbated because a rabid coyote recently attacked a father and his daughter a couple weeks ago around here. So everyone's on high alert, and Cooper is a wandering kind of cat who goes home every few days or so but otherwise is out and about.

I washed the bite, called Cooper's mom, who was really nice and promised to check with the vet and make sure Cooper's rabies vaccination is up to date, waited for the Hubs to come home, took younger son to ER on pediatrician's recommendation, and waited two hours there. He's on a prophylactic antibiotic for a week.

And I still don't have a dress.

Q: What Size Am I? A: All of Them.

I am at an in-between stage. I haven't entirely shrunken out of the fat girls' sizes, but I do fit in some clothes that don't have a W after the number.

I can fit into a size 14 dress if it's flowy and a size 16 dress if it's not. But the size 18 pants I got at Macy's fit just right. I can fit into my Lane Bryant size 14 jeans but the LB size 16 pants from a few years ago are a little tighter in the waist than I like. The 16W Not Your Daughter's Jeans I bought fit like a glove - a very fitted glove. On top, most XLs work for me, including J.Crew and Banana Republic, but not Ann Taylor.

All of this makes shopping rather tedious.

Plus, my period is due any day now so I'm hungrier and the scale has gone up the past several days because of the rehydration process. And retaining water. And possibly the red velvet cake and M&Ms.

The good news is, I should be through all of it and happy as a lark when I board my plane one week from tomorrow to go see you lovelies in Chicago.

Fashion Show ~HELP NEEDED~

Don't get me wrong, I don't need a tutorial on the mechanics of shopping. But after years and years of having such limited choices, I am overwhelmed anytime I try to buy new clothes. There are so many things out there, and I have no idea what to wear.

I have a few events this fall: my sister's baby shower on Saturday, Chicago and an October wedding in northern California. I don't really have anything for any of these occasions, although if I dig deep in my closet maybe I could find something.

In the meantime, here's what I picked up today. I fully intend to return some of it tomorrow, so please be honest in your assessments.

First, a jacket/shirt combo from White House/Black Market. I like the jacket, but can't decide which shirt looks best. The pants need to be hemmed, so disregard the extra 10 inches of fabric hanging at the bottom. Also, I think the Holy Spirit was paying a visit to my closet, based on the blinding light illuminating my saddle bags. Sorry about that.

Horizontal sparkles


Plain


Neckline sparkles


I also found this shirt at Lord & Taylor, which would be fun for a going-to-dinner night.


Unless, of course, it looks like I should be wielding a sword and shouting, "Ahoy matey!"


What do you think? Let me know.

I still don't have anything for the shower or the wedding, so I'm going back for more tomorrow. I can return the undesirables then.

The Good, The Bad and The Party Recap

The good news: I can eat!

The bad news: I can EAT!

The unfill left me with 4.75 cc's in my band, so it's not wide open. But I do feel a difference in hunger, particularly this morning.

The good news: I was so busy yesterday at the party that I barely ate anything.

The bad news: We have leftovers. Red velvet cake ($9.99 at Costco with heavenly cream cheese frosting), dips, chips, brownies, cookies.

The good news: I've invited a slew of in-laws to watch the Giants game today and eat the rest of the leftovers. So I'm going to pull on my big-girl pants and exercise some self control. Hopefully the worst of the temptations will be gone by dinnertime.

Yesterday morning I weighed 201.8. Which is AWESOME because it's sooooo close to being under 200. But it's also kind of a tease because I know I was still dehydrated so the weight loss isn't really true. This morning I clocked in at 204.

I would so love to be under 200 by the time we all get together in Chicago, and I'll keep working for it. We'll see how it goes.

Oh, and the party was great. The Hubs started hosting this party in honor of an underappreciated historical figure 14 years ago (this year's honoree: DeWitt Clinton, father of the Erie Canal and the NYC public school system).

I wasn't on the scene when the Hubs started hosting the party, so it was just him and a few college friends with some six-packs of beer and a bowl of M&Ms. When we moved in together in New York I added such elegant touches as chips and dip and cheese and crackers. Over the years it went from being a nighttime adult-only affair where everyone drank beer to an adult-only affair where everyone drank wine to six jillion kids running around our backyard with water guns. Yesterday we had more than 100 people, and the party was catered by Planet Pizza and Costco.

It's now grown into a great mishmash of friends from college, our various jobs, my book club, the kids' friends and their parents and our extended families. I love introducing people who haven't met but have common interests and watching them hit it off. The kids run around and play ball or go in the bouncy castle we rent, swim, play with sidewalk chalk, just generally hang out and have fun.

We had such a good time, in a lot of cases we only see these friends once a year at this party. One family comes from Massachusetts and stays overnight every year, so we always get to hang out, eat leftovers and drink wine with them after we get our six combined kids into bed after the party.

All in all, I'm feeling soooo much better. Planning to go back to the surgeon sometime next week to have some fill added without getting to the awful point I reached last week. I'll have a convo with him then about the poor response I received when I called for help.

Sweet Relief

The surgeon took out 1 cc this afternoon. I can drink now.

I think they thought I was overreacting right up till I stepped on their scale. I've lost nine pounds since my fill last Thursday. I'm sure seven of those pounds are the result of dehydration after a day and a half of throwing up so I'll probably show a gain for the next couple of weeks. I don't care, though.

I've had most of a smoothie from Starbucks, and a few sips of strained chicken noodle soup. So far, so good.

I didn't say much to my surgeon about his staff or the trouble I had getting in touch. I'll tell him when I go back to have some fill put in after the swelling goes down. I was exhausted and dehydrated and in no mood to have a conversation.

I'm amazed how obsessed I got with eating when I couldn't eat a thing. Part of the problem was just before my surgeon appointment I was shopping at Costco for the party, so everything looked really good and everyone was walking around eating the yummy samples while I listlessly pushed my cart.

I did score a cute anorak thingy. Size L! It's not loose by any means, but I think it'll work well as the weather gets cooler and wetter.

Thanks to all of you for your concern. It was comforting, and I know you understand more than anyone else.

Now I need to get everything ready for tomorrow's party. The good news: The weather looks gorgeous!

The Misery Continues

Last night I was able to have some chicken broth and a couple ounces of ice water. This morning I was so thirsty, my stomach was growling. I had two sips of juice and then tried a few bites of very thin soup.

No dice.

I'm furious with my doctor - I called yesterday and spoke to someone who kind of blew me off, told me to just take little sips. When I called again in the afternoon to say I was throwing up saliva, the woman said, "I can have him call you, but he's not going to tell you anything different." I said to please have him call me. No call. Last night I had him paged at 8 pm and asked for him to call me back. No call.

I called this morning and he's operating right now. I told the woman I need to see him this afternoon, I can't keep liquids down. She said she'd check with him and let me know.

I have to take my son to the pediatrician to check his wheezing, and I cannot keep running to the bathroom or they're going to think I have an eating disorder.

I have so many errands to run to get ready for a party we're having tomorrow. We have one party a year for our friends, and this is it. It's casual, we order pizza and chicken fingers from a pizza place, but it's big - we have more than 90 people coming tomorrow. I don't have time to be kneeling over the toilet gagging.

I'm angry enough with my surgeon to leave the practice, but there aren't a lot of other people who do this around here. I did call another practice to see if they take post-op patients for aftercare. They said yes but the PA who does all the fills is on vacation and I'd like to talk to her before I start getting records together.

On the upside, I lost three pounds overnight. I can't even get excited about it because I know it's from being dehydrated and because of the misery I've gone through to lose them.

**UPDATE**
Going to have some fluid removed at 1.30 pm. The receptionist told me in the meantime to just take tiny sips. Ha! There's nothing going in at this point, it's all going out. From a few sips of soup 90 minutes ago. Ridiculous.