New Jeans and Question of the Day

I'm wearing new jeans! SMALLER jeans. Which is a really nice NSV, particularly since the scale is not moving. I can't legitimately complain about that, though - I know full well why the scale is not moving. And by that I mean I can officially eat a quarter pounder with fries.

So the waistband on the jeans got a teeeny bit tight after lunch. Serves me right. FOR SHAME.

In the good news department, my fill has been moved to first thing Thursday morning, and I've revamped the childcare arrangements since there's no chance in hell the Hubs will be able to fly home Wednesday night as planned. New York City schools are canceled tomorrow already, for only the third time in eight years. Yikes.

The good news is, I've got milk, eggs and numerous child-oriented videos. We have a list of projects (the kids' school valentines, cleaning bedrooms, packing away clothes they've grown out of, etc.) that will keep us fairly busy, along with shoveling and spending two hours dressing them in snow gear so they can go outside for 90 seconds before deciding it's just too cold.

For everyone getting this storm - Stay warm and enjoy as much of it as you can!

Question of the Day: How many cc's did your surgeon give you for your first fill, and how many cc's did it take till you felt good restriction, or at your sweet spot? (I have a 10cc band.)

Snow on the Horizon

My fill is supposed to be Wednesday morning, at the hospital with a barium swallow. Unfortunately, we are supposed to get a boatload of snow Tuesday night into Wednesday morning, which is going to completely mess up my carefully-calibrated childcare arrangements.

I have a call in to the doctor to see what my options are. Stay tuned...

TOUCHDOWN!

OK, so it wasn't a low-cal day. But I followed my plan, ate lots of raw veggies, had a taste of the other things, and all in all I'm happy with the way the Super Bowl eating went.

I didn't have a horse in this race, but GO SAINTS! New Orleans deserves some good, unfiltered joy. Congratulations!

Self-Destructive Habits

Well, my behavior hasn't be geared toward success lately. More like the old self-destructive patterns. I am an emotional eater, as soon as I get upset or worried or anxious I start craving less-than-healthy food. And for the last three or four days, I've been mostly indulging those cravings.

For the first four weeks, when my band was new and I was terrified of hurting my recovery, I did not have a single thing I wasn't supposed to have. Followed instructions to the letter. And of course I lost weight.

I know everyone is telling me to wait for the fill, and believe me, I am waiiiiting and waiiiiting. But I'm concerned about these habits. How do I teach myself to find other ways to deal with difficult situations or emotional periods?

When I was in my mid-20s I started taking phen-fen. GREAT stuff. When fenfluramine was taken off the market (like two weeks after I started it), my doctor kept me on the phentermine. Let me tell you, that drug is like MAGIC. While I took the phentermine, over about 9 months I lost 75 pounds, started running, and eventually ran a marathon. I never got *skinny* - my lowest weight was about 165ish and I'm only 5'4" on a tall day. But at that weight I looked good, I felt great and my newfound confidence was reflected in every area of my life.

I had a ton of energy, I was happy and best of all, I wasn't interested in food. I remember sitting at a restaurant with friends, glancing at the menu and ordering salad without feeling like I was depriving myself.

And I stopped and thought, "This must be what it's like to be normal." Not thinking about food, not beating myself up for eating bad things, making bad choices, constantly returning myself to the circumstances that made me so unhappy and kept me from doing the things I wanted to do in my life.

That's what I'm hoping the band will do for me, particularly as I start getting fills. I want to think of food like normal people do - as fuel, as a way to share good times with family and friends. But not as a controlling factor in my life. I know I need to do my part, but right now I'm doing a crappy, crappy job.

Carrot Sticks, Meet Gridiron

I'm at the 'one step back' part of the two steps forward progression scale of banding. It happens, and from what so many of you tell me, it's not unusual as I wait to get to a good restriction. In the meantime, I'm trying to minimize the damage and talk myself down from the frustration and disappointment of not melting fast enough. Battling hunger and cravings all day long is mentally exhausting. Blech.

I've been worst at night lately, snacking and eating things that aren't doing much for me. Last night actually wasn't bad, probably because I went to a talk about raising boys, how they learn differently than girls, etc. I was out and busy for most of the evening. When I got home I had the munchies but I satisfied the urge with a slice of turkey and a slice of American cheese.

However. This Sunday will present a teeeeeny challenge for me and, I suspect, for many of us.

I'm not into football, but people go to Super Bowl parties the way agnostics flock to church on Easter Sunday. And I'll be joining the crowd. I'm bringing a delicious hot crab dip (with cream cheese, cheddar cheese and sour cream), Rice Krispie treats and brownies. The hostess is making wings and there will be a million people, all of whom will bring something or other.

Strategies: Try to load up on bulky raw vegetables before eating anything else. No drinking while eating and no caloric beverages (there won't be any wine or beer; one of the hosts is in AA).

What are your plans for the Super Bowl? Are you just going to eat what you want for that one day, or are you sticking with the rules of the band?

Lane Bryant

What would a weight-loss (or weight-loss-surgery) blog be without a Lane Bryant post?

Most of us have shopped there, been aghast at the godawful goods at ridiculous prices, and grateful to find something, anything we can wear that hasn't been beadazzled within an inch of its life.

I just stopped by LB to pick up a few shirts that I'm hoping will tide me over for a while. And guess what their latest "style" is, ladies?

STIRRUP PANTS.

Oh, Lane Bryant. I can't wait to bid you farewell.

One Week Till First Fill

I am ready for a fill. Really, really ready.

My goal for the next week is to keep my weight from creeping upward. That's it.

I'm not off to a great start. Today I had the insides of a bean burrito along with chips, salsa and sour cream. Then I had four Hershey's kisses. That's all I've had - the morning kind of flew by and I forgot to make a shake. But still... the insides of the entire burrito. Plus chips.

Fill 'er up, please.

Give me your Challenge updates as you get 'em. You guys are rockin this thing!

Question of the Day: For those of you who've monetized your blog, have you actually made any money from this? Do they send you a check?

PS Does anyone else find they have to go back after they write a post and delete at least half the exclamation points? Cause I do!! Every! Freakin! Time!

It's Official

I am out of touch. I have not seen a single one of the movies nominated for Best Picture this year. In fact, I think I've only seen three movies in the past 12 months - The Hangover (took the baby when she was 5 weeks old and nursed her through the whole film - most relaxing evening I had in ages); Star Trek (for the Hubs' 40th birthday; also took him to Panera for dinner to celebrate) and Invictus (most excellent, by the way).

In 2000 I saw every single movie nominated for Best Picture. What has become of me??

As far as eating and whatnot, let's just say my restriction is minimal. I had a protein shake for breakfast, a Dunkin Donuts flatbread sandwich for lunch and two smallish bowls of butternut squash risotto (Barefoot Contessa recipe - BEST EVER) for dinner. Not exactly a model bandster day.

The scale did show a half-pound loss this morning, so I guess things could be worse. Like tomorrow morning, when the glass (ok, two glasses, stop grilling me already) of wine show up.

I logged 40 minutes on the elliptical while the oldest child had swim practice at the Y. That's something, right?

Also, an anticipated NSV: I'm planning our summer activities, trying to coordinate dates and trips with the extended family. I am SO EXCITED to do things this summer that I haven't been able to do in years because of my weight. I want to take the kids on rides and hikes and kayaking (last summer I couldn't fit in our kayaks). I am really, really looking forward to all of that. I love doing things with my children, and I have missed out the last few years. This band gives me hope. That's the best thing about it.

Finally, I leave you with a New York Times story about Michael Pollan's new book, Food Rules: An Eater's Manual.

Time to Come Clean

Well, this is embarrassing.

I did not exercise on the first day of my own Exercise Challenge. I have no good excuse, other than that the day completely got away from me. I will be participating for the rest of the week.

Enough about me. You guys are doing REALLY well with this challenge! I'm uber-impressed by the numbers you're racking up. I might even say it's inspiring...

Let me know how today goes and I'll update everyone's totals.

Four Weeks

It's been four weeks today since my surgery. I weighed in at 237 this morning - 16 pounds lost since Jan. 4th and 29 since October. Yayyyy! I ordered a new pair of jeans as one of my pairs is getting way too big, so that's kind of exciting.

It's been exhausting around here yesterday and today, so I'm pooped and going to bed. G'night, all.