Counting Calories

I know the band is supposed to free me from dieting and calorie counting, but keeping track of my calorie intake has been oddly comforting for me. I guess it's because I can see that I'm satisfied on so many fewer calories than pre-band. I've been faithfully measuring and weighing to make sure I relearn appropriate portion sizes.

We had 15 members of the hubs' family over on Sunday for Chinese takeout, the Golden Globes red carpet and some football (on the smaller kitchen TV - big TV reserved for red carpet fashions, obvs). Not many of them know about the band, so I wasn't sure how it would go.

I don't really like Chinese food and they all know that, so I don't think it was too strange that I made a separate dinner for myself. I had a glass of wine, a cube of port salut (soft) cheese and 1/4 c. of ricotta with 1/2 c. of tomato sauce baked in the toaster oven (yum!). I faithfully logged everything and came in just under my 1000 calorie self-limit for the day. Very happy about that.

Yesterday was fun and relaxing. The hubs and I saw Sherlock Holmes, I did a little cooking and everyone just chilled and played.

I woke up with my fingers all crazy swollen, and the scale showed me up .5 pound. Lousy piece of... ;) Since I could barely get my rings on, I'm assuming it's all water retention, so drinking lots today and hoping to pee it all out soon.

Thanks to everyone who answered my question yesterday about whether your significant other or family reads your blog. My husband said he's happy for me to use this as a place to vent, ask questions and hang with the band girls without worrying that he'll be checking in.

Tomorrow is my first follow-up visit with the surgeon. Wondering when he'll schedule my first fill...

Question of the Day

Good morning everyone!

My husband knows I have a blog, but so far he hasn't read it. I'd be happy for him to read it in a month or two, when I'm a little further down the scale, but for now I feel awkward having him know how much I weigh. He's been supportive and encouraging through this whole process, but I just feel like the numbers are too much information at this point.

Question of the Day: Do your spouses/significant others/family members know about your blog, and do they read it?

Restriction... I Think

I keep hearing about Bandster Hell, and I am terrified of it and dreading it, because I have no willpower. Seriously. None. That's why I got this thing in the first place.

Tomorrow marks two weeks since my surgery and I seem to have some restriction. Maybe it's some residual swelling from surgery? I don't care, I'm just happy. I am honestly not very hungry (watch, tomorrow I'll wake up starving), and when I am hungry I'm satisfied by very small portions - 1/4 c. cottage cheese, 1/4 c. yogurt, 6 oz. tomato soup or a protein shake.

I've been tracking my calories on Lose It!, because at my support group meeting the social worker mentioned we should be shooting for 850-900 calories during the early healing/weight loss stage. I realized I didn't know how many calories I'd been taking in (although I was still on clear liquids, so no big worries there).

On Monday I had about 1,100 calories. On Tuesday it was 983, and stayed below that Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday and Saturday I didn't even hit 700 calories. Today I'm back up to almost a thousand.

I really wasn't restricting calories, just logging what I ate. I ate (drank) when I was hungry, stopped when I was full, and was satisfied.

What a crazy concept.

I'm officially on mushies now, so I imagine it will be harder to keep the calories on the low end since I have so many more foods to choose from. I'm planning to ride this wave as long as I can, though.

~ Dos Caminos ~

Today was my first real post-band restaurant experience. I was in New York City with a friend (looking for her wedding dress, yay)! After shlepping around SoHo we stopped in for a late brunch at Dos Caminos. I was there in mid-December and ate nearly everything on my plate, plus chips, salsa and guacamole.

Boy, was today different.

First of all, I haven't had any food I could chew until today. I found a dish on the menu with poached eggs and swiped some of my friend's black beans (don't know if they were refried or just mashed, but they were mushy - perfect texture).

It was great, and it was tough.

What I ordered: Quesadilla Benedict - ham, cheese and black bean quesadilla, poached eggs, roasted poblano hollandaise. My meal came with a huge portion of breakfast potatoes on the side.

What I ate: one poached egg and about a tablespoon of black beans, plus half a forkful of guacamole. I was full after that, truly full. But that doesn't mean I was mentally ready to stop eating.

What I wanted to eat: All of it. Seriously. It looked sooooo good. Lucky for me, all of your blogger voices and advice (SLOW. TEENY BITES. STOP EARLY) were reverberating in my mind, and good sense prevailed. I stopped.

It's a whole new world.

It Fits!!

MY ENGAGEMENT RING FITS!!!!

Based on the scale reading this morning, I retrieved it from the safe it's been hiding in for more than a year. My fingers swelled during pregnancy last year and then I never lost enough weight for my ring to fit. I tried it a couple of times, but no go. Today it slid right on. (Wedding ring is 1/2 size bigger, so it fit sooner.)

This was the first goal I really wanted to hit, so I'm thrilled.

I {Heart} My Scale, and Question of the Day

I can't even believe I was talkin' trash about my poor scale. It went back and forth, back and forth the other day and then today consistently put me down another two pounds.

I LOVE THAT THING!

I did go to Bed, Bath & Beyond to pick up another, supplemental, scale that has more precise measurements. I'm totally sure this won't end up being some kind of unhealthy obsession, hmmmm.

The eating (drinking) is going well, I'm still working my way through an indulgent nonfat orange mango banana Starbucks Vivanno (260 cal, 15g protein, although I ask for extra protein powder) that I picked up a couple of hours ago.

So here's the thing: I'm 11 days post surgery and I feel good, just about back to normal but maybe a little more tired. I do not, however, have **any** desire to exercise at all right now. I have a pretty good exercise history. In my 20s, I walked and then trotted and then started full-out jogging. I ran a marathon, joined the New York Road Runners club and did a bunch of races with them. I have almost always maintained (and used) a gym membership. In 2004, I trained for and finished three triathlons.

I am still so tired, though. The thought of starting to exercise at this high weight (243 today) just makes me want to go to bed.

Question of the day: When did you start exercising?

UPDATE: Had to ditch the new scale. It turned on once, gave me a helluva scare (+3 pounds!) and then refused to turn back on. That's what I get for trying to do the two-scale thing. Lesson learned.

O Beano, Where Art Thou?

Hi everyone! Great day here, my pain has mostly subsided, even the shoulder pain.

I am LOVING the Lose It! app on my phone, it's so easy to keep track of how many calories and protein grams I'm taking in. So far today I've had 817 calories, and I may or may not have some Jello before bed. I'm currently obsessed with Chobani nonfat yogurt with a spoonful of honey. Yummm.

The only bummer today: I blended up a can of black bean soup and split it between lunch and dinner. Great, except I need to get some Beano reallllly soon. My husband is lucky he's 3,000 miles away because it's rumbly in my tummy.

Sorry, that's really bad manners. I am totally uncouth.

As always, thanks for stopping by. Have a great night - you guys are the best!

Hinky Scale - What Kind Do You Have?

My scale was all kinds of hinky this morning. And I'm not just saying that because it wasn't showing the 105 I think it should show.

I have a THINNER brand (ha!) digital that goes in .5 pound increments. We've had it for, I don't know, eight or nine years? Something like that. I can step on it five times in a row and get five different weights. Usually within a two-pound range, but now that I am watching so closely, two pounds makes a difference.

This morning I got on the scale a few times and it showed two pounds down, then 1.5 pounds down, then the same as Sunday and then 1 pound down. I had my son get on it a few times and his weight was consistent. Then I got on it again twice and it showed 1 pound down, so I gave myself credit for the 1 pound.

All this is to say: Do you have a scale you really like? If you do, what brand is it? I might be in the market for a new one.

On the recovery front, I feel just about normal today. No pain meds at all yesterday or today, and my port incision doesn't sting like the dickens when I bend over. Yay for normal!

Dear Food, I Miss You

I'm really nervous that I am going to be a big fat band failure.

I keep hearing people say they weren't hungry after surgery. I guess technically I'm not hungry but I WANT TO EAT. Really, I do. I want a burger and a buttery bagel and even a big salad. And all kinds of other things that I won't mention here because I don't want to be responsible for triggering anyone else's binge.

Big exhale.

I guess this is food grief. I expected to feel it, but not to this extent. I mean, I'm not driving around town sobbing and playing cheesy love songs that remind me of my last Wendy's #1 meal or anything. But I'm mortified to find how deep this problem - addiction, really - actually is for me.

I keep reminding myself that this is part of the process, for some bandsters at least, and that I will come through stronger and (please God) skinnier.

Today was much better in terms of my eating. I faithfully logged every single thing I put into my mouth, and I'm on target for protein and calories. But it was a struggle. I'm not going to go eat something that could harm the band or my stomach. But that is the ONLY thing keeping me from doing it. Which is why I had this surgery in the first place, right?

Why Are Children Morning People?*

My 4-year-old came in at 5.50 am to tell me he didn't know why his clock didn't say 6.00. I could barely form words, but he got the gist and went back to his room for another 15 minutes.

How many days til the hubs comes home on Thursday? My head is all muddled.

*This post unrelated to band or weight loss.