One Minivan, Two Kids, Seven States

Home at last! I drove through seven states with my 4-year-old and one-year-old, stopping along the way to visit family. (The Hubs stayed home so the oldest child could march in the parade with his Cub Scout pack.)

We ended up at my brother's house in Virginia for a combination Memorial Day/my niece's 4th birthday party. It's a six-hour drive that requires me to go through the Bronx, over the George Washington Bridge, the entire length of the New Jersey turnpike, I-95 and the Washington Beltway. Kinda stressful driving.

I passed the time listening to audiobooks on my iPod while my son watched Kipper and the baby slept. I'm late in the game on this one, but Malcolm Gladwell's "Outliers" is fascinating, particularly from the perspective of a parent with young children. He debunks the idea that some people are naturally gifted, and shows how a combination of circumstances, luck and hard work is responsible for success. Really thought-provoking.

Then I listened to "Sh*t My Dad Says," by Justin Halpern and could not stop laughing. It's hysterical, as long as you don't mind an f-bomb every other word. My son kept asking why I was laughing and why he couldn't listen to it.

Confession time: I ate horribly this weekend. There was a lot of good food, and I partook. Nothing band-unfriendly, because who wants to hog the bathroom sliming and throwing up during a party. But there was cake. And a cookie or two. And dips and all kinds of stuff. But still, it didn't hold a candle to what I would have eaten pre-band.

The scale has not yet registered my poor eating - I weighed in at 218.5 today, just a half pound above my lowest. I'm expecting a bounce or three this week, but I want to start losing again. NOW.

Thanks for all your comments on the relationships post. It's something to think about. Our weight loss affects the people closest to us, mostly for the better but sometimes in ways we don't expect. I was happy to hear your thoughts.

New World Order in Our Relationships

I've read a few blogs lately where relationships are shifting as a result of this huge weight loss we're all experiencing. I commented on one that it's kind of like when the Cold War ended and all of a sudden all hell broke loose in Eastern Europe.

For many of us, our weight was the Soviet Union, the #1 concern of our daily lives. We still functioned and worked and had friendships and vacations and took care of our families, but the general focus of many of our thoughts was weight, our frustration with it, the things we were missing out on because of it, etc.

As the weight falls away, the New World Order emerges and we begin to focus on other areas of our lives (Czechoslovakia and Yugoslavia, I'm looking at you!). That's when we realize that resolving the BIG ISSUE doesn't magically solve the other problems in our lives, including relationship problems that may have been lurking under the surface.

Most of us have read or heard from our surgeons that divorce rates are higher for WLS patients. Sometimes it's because the patient decides s/he *can* do better and doesn't have to spend the rest of her life in a bad situation, sometimes it's because the spouse can't cope with the massive change. Sometimes the patient goes crazy and wants to have the 20s she never had, drinking and partying and flirting.

Every relationship has its ups and downs. If your relationships is rock-solid before you lose weight, you'll be even better afterward because you'll be happier which will make your partner happier. On the other side, if cracks are showing they could easily turn into fault lines.

Now, don't go thinking I'm divorcing my husband and running off with the mailman. We've been married for nine years and we love each other. No relationship is perfect, but I don't see any major problems arising from my weight loss. I wonder sometimes how it might affect us, though. Pretty sure the Hubs is hoping it means he scores more often.

I do think this is important enough to discuss here, though. That's why I'm writing about it today, and I want to hear what you all think about it.

Have you run into this? Does it concern you? If you have experienced this, what did you do to shore up your relationship?

My Pants Fit!

In 2007 I was on a phentermine and Wellbutrin diet (works like a charm until you stop taking the meds, btw) and lost a bunch of weight before my sister's wedding. I also worked out like a fiend, going to the gym at 6 am Monday-Friday for six months.

Anyway, I had a bunch of summery pants from that summer sitting in my drawer. I tried one pair a few weeks ago and it was a no-go. It's supposed to be 90ish today, so I tried again and they FIT. Comfortably!

The scale is still up a pound from my lowest, but I'm trying to be all Zen about it.

Maybe I'll even swim some laps today...

Is It Time for a Freak-Out?

I had a big eating day. Which can mean one of two things:

1. The unfill just kicked in and I don't have good restriction and I am going to wreak havoc with my pretty decent weight loss.
2. It's around the same time of the month that I typically see a surge in hunger and eating.

I think it's #2. Which means it should go away after a day or two. But so far today I've had:
B: zone bar
L: bean burrito (minus the tortilla) at local Mexican restaurant, plus 20 chips and salsa and about a tablespoon of guac
D: portobello gardenburger with 1 slice American cheese, tomato and mozzarella with balsamic vinegar

And frosting from a cupcake. Oh, and two (2) Cadbury Creme Eggs. They've been in my fridge for more than a week, untouched.

Ugh.

Also, I really need to start exercising. What a lazybones.

Hungry Hungry Hippo

Well, I'm not a hippo but for some reason the name of that game (remember the commercial jingle?) popped into my head as I started to write about being hungry today. Maybe not hungry exactly, but in a snackin' kind of mood. It hasn't been a train wreck, but there's been more eating today than in recent days.

The rehearsal dinner and wedding were just beautiful. Great weather, fun people, good music and great food - couldn't ask for anything more. I'm exhausted today, going to head to bed soon.

I started the bathing suit challenge at 233.5 and ended today at 218.5 -- a loss of 15 pounds in less than two months. I'm happy with that, and ready to jump into another challenge. I'm 2.5 pounds from 50... let's hope this is a big-losing week.

Our Friend Barbara Needs Our Love & Support Right Now

Hi everyone,

Barbara has just gotten some terrible news from her husband's doctors. Please send some love and good wishes her way.

We love you, Barbara.

xoxo

Sweeeeeeeeeet

Well, if this is the sweet spot then I am loving it.

The difference between being overfilled and being in my sweet spot is like night and day. When I was overfilled, I couldn't stop thinking about food, worrying about what I could eat, feeling frustrated and bitter that I couldn't have what I wanted because I'd throw it up, be uncomfortable, etc.

Since I had a little unfill on Tuesday, it's as if the thoughts of food have been wiped from my mind. It's not that I *never* think about it, but it really is just like a breath of fresh air. I feel like a slate has been wiped clean. My hunger has been minimal, and my meals (as long as I take them slowly and chew well) have been satisfying and pleasurable. And the scale starting moving - down - again.

This morning the scale showed that I've sustained the losses of the last few days, which was a nice surprise. I had expected a bounce.

I did have a head hunger/stress eating episode today, but my band prevented me from doing any real damage, pulling in the reins so I couldn't eat many calories. I don't feel guilty about it, I'm not castigating myself over my weakness and failure, etc, as I usually do. It happened, I really need to work on finding another way to handle stress, but no major harm was done.

I'm really going to have to drink A LOT of water tomorrow and Saturday; we have a rehearsal dinner on Friday night and wedding reception on Saturday night -- not ideal conditions for going into the final weigh-in of the Bathing Suit Challenge. I know Joey and Gilly have a lock on the winning spot, but I want to have a good showing!

I know the sweet spot can be as elusive as a unicorn, so I am going to enjoy it as long as I have it.

Finally, some of my comments on your blogs have been disappearing. No idea why. But if I usually comment and haven't been, you can assume that I wrote something incredibly thoughtful and insightful and upbeat about your latest post, and it just got lost in a cyberspace black hole. ;)

Singing and Dancing

That's how I feel today, at least in terms of my band - like singing and dancing. It is such a relief to not be scared to death to eat. And I know this sounds crazy, but my hunger and food thoughts fell through the floor as soon as that teeeeny bit of fluid was taken out of my band. I ate decently today, but I didn't have the mental torment (OK, that's dramatic; mental distraction is more accurate) that I often find I have.

The scale showed another pound gone this morning. I fully expect a giant BOUNCE tomorrow morning but right now I am 2.5 pounds away from hitting 50 pounds down. So looking forward to that.

Funny NSV today - our contractor stopped by to check on work he did to fix some storm damage on our house. He's an older guy, maybe late 60s, really nice. He kept looking at me funny as he was leaving, then he said, "Have you lost weight?" I smiled and said yes, I've been trying. And then he said, "Wow. Yeah, you've lost A LOT."

It was kind of awkward and totally charming at the same time.

I also went to my son's first grade concert this morning, and two of the parents there noticed that I've lost weight.

So that's all good. Keep your fingers crossed for me that hunger (real and imagined) stays away.

AHHHHHHHHH

Sweet relief! Just got back from doctor's office, he took out 0.25 cc's so I'm back to 5.5 cc's in my band. He was nice and concerned but seemed to be feeling me out to see if I just wanted to have an eating party. I told him I thought the simpler and more likely explanation is that my band was too tight. I would have preferred him to take 0.1 cc's and he suggested 0.5 cc's so we compromised on 0.25.

I'll be taking it easy but now at least I feel like as long as I'm careful I won't be throwing up. Please dear Lord don't let me throw up anymore.

I'm a little worried that I'll gain weight, but I'll just have to be extra careful. I hope that by taking some of the fluid out I will be at or near my sweet spot rather than into the red, overfilled zone.

I lost two pounds overnight, I'm sure from getting sick but I'm officially in the two-teens (by a half pound, but still...). For now, anyway. I'm counting it.

She's Not Really That Stupid, Is She?

Yes! Yes, I really am that stupid.

Had a vomiting episode this afternoon, called my surgeon to see if I can get an unfill (still haven't heard back). Decided to take it easy, had nothing for a few hours, then a few sips of water, then a baby spoon of hummus, then some cream of chicken soup.

I should have stopped there and gone to bed. Things would have been just fine if I'd done that.

Instead, I decided since all those things went down OK, it would be fine to have an artichoke. You can guess how that went - it was so awful my eyeballs are sore.

Side note: I'm kind of obsessed about this, and I don't really know why because I already have a band so there's no going back now. But when people describe a PB (productive burp) in posts or on LapBandTalk, I always envisioned coughing up some food. What I'm experiencing is full-on vomiting, without the nausea but with violent heaving. Is this how the regurgitation goes for you? It's sooooo not what I imagined. And it sooooo sucks.

I'm going to try to get in for a little unfill tomorrow. I don't know what happened, how my band got so much tighter than it was. But it sucks. AND I'M NOT LOSING WEIGHT.