Restriction... I Think

I keep hearing about Bandster Hell, and I am terrified of it and dreading it, because I have no willpower. Seriously. None. That's why I got this thing in the first place.

Tomorrow marks two weeks since my surgery and I seem to have some restriction. Maybe it's some residual swelling from surgery? I don't care, I'm just happy. I am honestly not very hungry (watch, tomorrow I'll wake up starving), and when I am hungry I'm satisfied by very small portions - 1/4 c. cottage cheese, 1/4 c. yogurt, 6 oz. tomato soup or a protein shake.

I've been tracking my calories on Lose It!, because at my support group meeting the social worker mentioned we should be shooting for 850-900 calories during the early healing/weight loss stage. I realized I didn't know how many calories I'd been taking in (although I was still on clear liquids, so no big worries there).

On Monday I had about 1,100 calories. On Tuesday it was 983, and stayed below that Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday and Saturday I didn't even hit 700 calories. Today I'm back up to almost a thousand.

I really wasn't restricting calories, just logging what I ate. I ate (drank) when I was hungry, stopped when I was full, and was satisfied.

What a crazy concept.

I'm officially on mushies now, so I imagine it will be harder to keep the calories on the low end since I have so many more foods to choose from. I'm planning to ride this wave as long as I can, though.

~ Dos Caminos ~

Today was my first real post-band restaurant experience. I was in New York City with a friend (looking for her wedding dress, yay)! After shlepping around SoHo we stopped in for a late brunch at Dos Caminos. I was there in mid-December and ate nearly everything on my plate, plus chips, salsa and guacamole.

Boy, was today different.

First of all, I haven't had any food I could chew until today. I found a dish on the menu with poached eggs and swiped some of my friend's black beans (don't know if they were refried or just mashed, but they were mushy - perfect texture).

It was great, and it was tough.

What I ordered: Quesadilla Benedict - ham, cheese and black bean quesadilla, poached eggs, roasted poblano hollandaise. My meal came with a huge portion of breakfast potatoes on the side.

What I ate: one poached egg and about a tablespoon of black beans, plus half a forkful of guacamole. I was full after that, truly full. But that doesn't mean I was mentally ready to stop eating.

What I wanted to eat: All of it. Seriously. It looked sooooo good. Lucky for me, all of your blogger voices and advice (SLOW. TEENY BITES. STOP EARLY) were reverberating in my mind, and good sense prevailed. I stopped.

It's a whole new world.

It Fits!!

MY ENGAGEMENT RING FITS!!!!

Based on the scale reading this morning, I retrieved it from the safe it's been hiding in for more than a year. My fingers swelled during pregnancy last year and then I never lost enough weight for my ring to fit. I tried it a couple of times, but no go. Today it slid right on. (Wedding ring is 1/2 size bigger, so it fit sooner.)

This was the first goal I really wanted to hit, so I'm thrilled.

I {Heart} My Scale, and Question of the Day

I can't even believe I was talkin' trash about my poor scale. It went back and forth, back and forth the other day and then today consistently put me down another two pounds.

I LOVE THAT THING!

I did go to Bed, Bath & Beyond to pick up another, supplemental, scale that has more precise measurements. I'm totally sure this won't end up being some kind of unhealthy obsession, hmmmm.

The eating (drinking) is going well, I'm still working my way through an indulgent nonfat orange mango banana Starbucks Vivanno (260 cal, 15g protein, although I ask for extra protein powder) that I picked up a couple of hours ago.

So here's the thing: I'm 11 days post surgery and I feel good, just about back to normal but maybe a little more tired. I do not, however, have **any** desire to exercise at all right now. I have a pretty good exercise history. In my 20s, I walked and then trotted and then started full-out jogging. I ran a marathon, joined the New York Road Runners club and did a bunch of races with them. I have almost always maintained (and used) a gym membership. In 2004, I trained for and finished three triathlons.

I am still so tired, though. The thought of starting to exercise at this high weight (243 today) just makes me want to go to bed.

Question of the day: When did you start exercising?

UPDATE: Had to ditch the new scale. It turned on once, gave me a helluva scare (+3 pounds!) and then refused to turn back on. That's what I get for trying to do the two-scale thing. Lesson learned.

O Beano, Where Art Thou?

Hi everyone! Great day here, my pain has mostly subsided, even the shoulder pain.

I am LOVING the Lose It! app on my phone, it's so easy to keep track of how many calories and protein grams I'm taking in. So far today I've had 817 calories, and I may or may not have some Jello before bed. I'm currently obsessed with Chobani nonfat yogurt with a spoonful of honey. Yummm.

The only bummer today: I blended up a can of black bean soup and split it between lunch and dinner. Great, except I need to get some Beano reallllly soon. My husband is lucky he's 3,000 miles away because it's rumbly in my tummy.

Sorry, that's really bad manners. I am totally uncouth.

As always, thanks for stopping by. Have a great night - you guys are the best!

Hinky Scale - What Kind Do You Have?

My scale was all kinds of hinky this morning. And I'm not just saying that because it wasn't showing the 105 I think it should show.

I have a THINNER brand (ha!) digital that goes in .5 pound increments. We've had it for, I don't know, eight or nine years? Something like that. I can step on it five times in a row and get five different weights. Usually within a two-pound range, but now that I am watching so closely, two pounds makes a difference.

This morning I got on the scale a few times and it showed two pounds down, then 1.5 pounds down, then the same as Sunday and then 1 pound down. I had my son get on it a few times and his weight was consistent. Then I got on it again twice and it showed 1 pound down, so I gave myself credit for the 1 pound.

All this is to say: Do you have a scale you really like? If you do, what brand is it? I might be in the market for a new one.

On the recovery front, I feel just about normal today. No pain meds at all yesterday or today, and my port incision doesn't sting like the dickens when I bend over. Yay for normal!

Dear Food, I Miss You

I'm really nervous that I am going to be a big fat band failure.

I keep hearing people say they weren't hungry after surgery. I guess technically I'm not hungry but I WANT TO EAT. Really, I do. I want a burger and a buttery bagel and even a big salad. And all kinds of other things that I won't mention here because I don't want to be responsible for triggering anyone else's binge.

Big exhale.

I guess this is food grief. I expected to feel it, but not to this extent. I mean, I'm not driving around town sobbing and playing cheesy love songs that remind me of my last Wendy's #1 meal or anything. But I'm mortified to find how deep this problem - addiction, really - actually is for me.

I keep reminding myself that this is part of the process, for some bandsters at least, and that I will come through stronger and (please God) skinnier.

Today was much better in terms of my eating. I faithfully logged every single thing I put into my mouth, and I'm on target for protein and calories. But it was a struggle. I'm not going to go eat something that could harm the band or my stomach. But that is the ONLY thing keeping me from doing it. Which is why I had this surgery in the first place, right?

Why Are Children Morning People?*

My 4-year-old came in at 5.50 am to tell me he didn't know why his clock didn't say 6.00. I could barely form words, but he got the gist and went back to his room for another 15 minutes.

How many days til the hubs comes home on Thursday? My head is all muddled.

*This post unrelated to band or weight loss.

I Ate All Day

OK, so it wasn't totally crazy - no more than 1000 calories. But still, that's a lot for someone who's only a week out from surgery, isn't it?

Today I just felt like I wanted to eat a lot. Some of it was hunger, some of it was... wanting to eat. Everything I had was allowed on my diet, but I had a lot more of it than I've had post-surgery thus far. I really hope it was just a blip and not a sign of bandster hell already. It's wayyyy too soon for that.

I downloaded the Lose It! app to my iphone and started logging everything I put into my mouth. I always wish later that I could remember what I ate on an average day when my weight was in a healthy range. I'm hoping this will give me a reference tool to look back to when I hit plateaus or wonder if I'm off course.

I also went to the hospital support group this evening. I was the youngest person by about 10 years, but everyone was so nice, full of tips and reassurances.

Good night, everyone! Dream thin thoughts...

Full Liquids

I'm (officially) on FULL liquids. Crazy how that opens up all kinds of menu options when you've been mostly on clear liquids. I had some Cream of Wheat this morning with my tea. I was able to eat about 1/8 of a serving, thinned out a lot with extra milk. But it was really good.

Last night I adapted an idea from LBT and blended lowfat cottage cheese (allowed on full liquids) into a V8 roasted red pepper soup and then thinned it out a bit with some chicken stock. Result: DELICIOUS, creamy, protein-filled soup. Highly recommend it.

This morning I was awakened at 6.10 am by DS2, who in his four and a half years has virtually never wavered on his wakeup time. The kid has an unbelievable body clock, and almost always wakes up between 5.30 and 6 am, no matter when he goes to bed. As soon as he could identify numbers, we put a clock in his room and told him he couldn't come get us until SIX-OH-OH. He was a tad late this morning because he had to get dressed first.

So I've already gotten through my mug of tea and a few bites of Cream of Wheat.

Have a skinny day everyone, and good luck to Vanessa for her first day back at work!