Clear Liquids for a Week?

Greetings from the land of hunger headaches and growling tummies!

I really did resolve not to whine about this surgery, since I'm the one who got myself into this mess. I never thought this would be a piece of cake (ha), but my doctor requires a week of clear liquids after the surgery, which seems like cruel and unusual punishment. According to his schedule, no full liquids for me until Monday, Jan. 11th.

On Tuesday I took in three low-carb Isopure drinks (total 45g protein, 180 calories), some sugar-free Jell-O, about 1/4 c. of broth from miso soup, sips of water and pain medication. I have a horrendous hunger headache that the medicine isn't touching and can't sleep because of it.

Is this normal?

Free Food!

Well, this is kind of funny. I didn't fully appreciate it at the time, but last night we had groceries delivered. It wasn't until we were unloading everything that my husband asked me why I ordered so much meat and we realized we'd gotten an extra couple of grocery bags. I guess the delivery guy got confused. I called Peapod and the customer service rep said we should keep it - a pot roast, chicken, hamburger meat, roast beef deli meat and American cheese, tortillas, organic eggs and organic milk.

How's that for ironic? I'm sitting here sipping protein drinks and Jell-O as our fridge is bursting with food.

My mom is using the chicken tonight for a stir fry and we are distributing the rest of the meat among family and friends.

Timing is everything.

Big Gulps

I set my alarm for 1.45 am to take my pain medicine overnight, and without thinking took a big gulp of water with it. As soon as I swallowed I realized what I had done, and oh my goodness was I nervous everything including the pill would come shooting back out.

It didn't, but I could hear and feel the glug-glug-glug of it gradually going through the pouch. And then I thought oh my god, what the hell have I done? I can't even take a big sip of water! This is crazy.

I know this feeling is fairly normal and I'm trying to stay positive and remember that I will feel normal again and I will be able to eat meals with my family and drink a whole glass of water at one sitting at some point. But for now it feels so strange. And I'm not loving it.

I also am a lot more sore today, which is to be expected since I don't have the benefit of the anesthesia and IV morphine that I had yesterday. The second day after surgery is usually the worst for me, so I will stay on top of the meds today, make sure I get as much of that godawful Isopure as I need to keep protein levels up, walk and take a nap later. And hope the day passes as quickly as possible.

I'll also try to remember all the positives: My mom and sister are here handling the household and children, my husband has been in and out whenever I need him and I got a good night's sleep last night. Oh, and I am finally banded! So the journey begins toward a healthier life.

B-b-b-b-BANDED!

I'm officially in the cool-kids club now, with my very own Allergan band (as is my band-buddy Vanessa )! Everything went well with my surgery this morning, I have the notorious shoulder pain and a very sore abdomen and a crazy dry throat and mouth but otherwise I can't complain much.

I had some nausea after the surgery, so they added more meds for that in my IV (in addition to what they gave me during surgery) and it helped a bit. I was so scared to throw up, but so far, so good.

When my surgeon came in to wheel me to the OR, I asked how he was feeling and he said, "Ah, pretty shaky but I'm sure I'll be fine in an hour or so." Har har. I had a small hiatal hernia that he fixed, which will help in explaining the surgery to the nursery school moms. ;)

I came home around 1.30 pm and took a two-hour nap, so I'm a little behind on the fluids. My doctor told me 2 oz every hour, which is agonizingly slow when you're so thirsty. I've had mostly ice chips and water, but I had an ounce of IsoPure as well.


My husband is getting some miso soup for me to have for "dinner." He set the table. Guess which place is mine?

Now I need to get up and walk around for a few minutes.

I can't tell you how much all your good wishes mean to me. Thank you thank you thank you!

Clear Liquids All Day

Today is THE LAST DAY (dunh dunh dunh). I'm on clear liquids all day, which I've never had to do before. Better get used to it, though. I just pulled out the case of Isopure I ordered a few weeks ago, and I'll be cracking one of those open in a few minutes. I may take my baby to the mall so we can walk around and not be home near the kitchen, if there's time.

My goals for the day: Stick to the clear liquids (which won't be too hard, as the surgery is first thing tomorrow and I really don't want to mess anything up); get the kids and house ready for my absence tomorrow and recovery next week; make sure I'm really hydrated and, um, going into the surgery with a clear digestive system. I shaved my legs this morning to make sure I don't have any open nicks when I'm at the germ-filled hospital. I'm picking out something comfy to wear, and making a list of previous surgeries for the anesthesiologist.

THANK YOU to everyone for your kindness and encouragement. My family has been very supportive but I think they're kind of nervous and not sure about this. Reading your blogs and hearing about your successes has given me a lot to think about and look forward to. Best to all of you as everyone goes back to work, school and regular routines tomorrow.

Dreaming Dreams

I had a vivid, vivid dream last night that I was saying goodbye to an old friend, someone I really cared about and would miss terribly. (I swear I'm not making this up.) I was incredibly sad during the whole dream, trying to stay a little longer. I felt a heavy sadness in my chest.

Jeesh, I wonder what that's all about?

{I was going to link to Susan Boyle's "I Dreamed a Dream" here - so clever! - but couldn't figure out how to do it.}

In other news, I got a Cuisinart hand blender for Christmas. Very handy, easy to clean, even blends ice well. I can recommend it as a good bandster tool. In fact, I'm enjoying a frothy chocolate shake right now.

Just today and tomorrow, then on to surgery. I mentioned last night to the boys that I was going to the hospital Monday so the doctor could fix something in my tummy that would help me be healthier. They couldn't have been less interested, which was a relief. I didn't want to get into great detail with them about it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Well, here we are in a new year and new decade. My kids were a little confused by all the fuss, as they woke up and everything seemed pretty much the same as yesterday.

I was paging through this week's People magazine this morning, with the usual New Year's Half Their Size! - without pills or surgery! feature. I truly admire what the people in the magazine have accomplished. It's huge, and it's something I have not been able to maintain in my life.

But it's amazing to me how much people consider surgery to be a copout, or the easy way out. Anyone who's ever gone through the battery of doctor's appointments, tests and insurance company hoops, and then faced general anesthesia, recovery, weeks of liquids and mushies and a whole new lifestyle knows the surgery route is no walk in the park.

Bottom line: I would love to have been one of the people who lost a lot of weight and kept it off through sheer willpower and discipline. I've lost 75 pounds once and 50 pounds once and gained it all back plus some bonus pounds. It took some courage to admit to myself that I can't do this alone. I don't feel like I'm taking the easy way out. I feel like I'm taking the only way out.

Goodbye 2009!

I can't say this has been a terrible year for me, as it was for so many people, because our daughter was born in May and she is a joy to all of us (even her brothers). But my hormones always go nutty after having a baby, so getting myself back on an even keel was key. And making the decision to have this surgery put me into a positive, hopeful state of mind.

So, yesterday was a godawful pre-op diet day. I won't go into the ugly details other than to say I better get my ass in gear for the last few days. It'll be super awkward if my surgeon goes in and my liver stretches to my knees.

I am still struggling with a final goal weight, so I will ask all of you: How did you determine your goal? Did your doctor give you a number, or did you have one in mind?

Have a safe, fun New Year's Eve. I expect I'll be in bed by 10 pm. So ring it in with a little extra enthusiasm for me!

All Clear

My surgeon's office called a little while ago. My pre-op test results were fine. I have to report to the hospital at 6.15 on Monday morning, nothing by mouth after midnight and clear liquids all day Sunday.

I am feeling calmer today about the changes ahead, thanks to reassurances from Vanessa and Nicole, and from the positive things I read on everyone's blogs.

Tonight we're going to dinner with some old friends who are in town for the holidays. They picked the place, and when I tried to check out the menu to see what I could order, I found: "There are no menus at [restaurant]. Instead, guests are presented with a list of over a hundred ingredients, updated daily, which contains the best offerings from the field and market."

So that'll be an adventure.

Minor Freak-Out Happening

I had my pre-op chest x-ray and bloodwork today. And I'm kind of freaking out about the changes ahead. I've been thinking about having this surgery on and off for four years, and seriously pursuing it for a few months. But now that it's less than a week away, I'm starting to mentally go through all the things I won't be able to eat. It makes me sad and, oddly, a little panicky.

I know this isn't all that unusual, and I've had moments here and there along the way but today it seems more extreme.

Big deep breath. This will be a change for the better in my life. Much better. Right?