LADIESSSSSS

The party has started! I hope you all have a weekend full of fun, adventure, bonding, shopping and sisterhood. xoxo

My Sad Boot Tale

I had a shopping adventure on Monday at Saks Fifth Avenue, and I'll post some photos just as soon as the tailor finishes with the new clothes.

One of the things I got was a really cute black dress that would look great with knee-high boots.

{Cue dramatic music here.}

Naturally, the Saks ladies' shoe department, which famously has its own Zip code and takes up an entire floor of the department store, has not a single pair of boots to fit a lady with, um, athletic calves.

I bemoaned this to a friend of mine, who reassured me that I'd have no trouble finding extended calf boots on JCrew.com. She was right!

I found this cute pair and ordered them and they arrived and I tried them on and... well, it was very sad. They did not pull up over my calves. The extended-calf pair, that is.

So I'm back to square one with no boots and kind of bummed out about the whole thing. Is there anywhere else I could find boots that might work? Maybe a zipper would be better? I don't know.

Tummy Tuck

I've been talking for years about having a tummy tuck. I want a flat stomach, and no matter how much weight I lose, a flat stomach will require surgical intervention. With perhaps a bit of pixie dust added for good luck.

I saw a plastic surgeon last week for a tummy tuck consultation. I got this surgeon's name and number from a girlfriend who had four kids in quick succession and was in otherwise excellent shape but had a pooch that wouldn't go away. She loves him and was really happy with the way her tummy tuck went.

My main question was, how much more weight do I need to lose before I can have the surgery? Because while I haven't completely given up, there's a part of me that suspects I may never get all the way to goal. My surgery was 20 months ago. I've lost exactly 50 percent of my excess weight, which is what Allergan's studies say is typical for band patients. My weight has essentially been the same, give or take eight pounds, for the last year.

My tummy is floopy and floppy, and in addition to being a pain with clothes, it creates some awkward moments when I'm exercising and in other, similarly physical, situations. If you catch my drift. I usually wear fitted yoga pants with a long t-shirt to work out, but even then sometimes I can hear it flap-flap-flapping around in there and it's awkward.

The surgeon said he could do the surgery anytime, but that the more weight I lose, the easier the surgery is for him. He also suggested that I check with my band doc to get his go-ahead first. I see the band doc in another 10 days so I'll get his input and also ask for a couple more names so I can meet other surgeons. I'm not sure this guy has a lot of experience with lap-band patients, which I guess isn't a big deal but I'm not sure. He didn't seem worried about the port, which I assume is one of the practical issues.

I know a couple people in blog world who've had tummy tucks (Draz and Angie), and I've followed their posts on this. I know the recovery is no picnic. I know I'll have two grenade-sized drains for a whole week, and it'll take several weeks, maybe a few months, before I feel back to normal. I've heard about the binder garments that have to be worn during healing. I'm trying to figure out how I can fit this in with minimal disruption to my kids' and family's schedules. It's all a little daunting.

If you have any advice, I'd love to hear it.

Unfill

I guess the biggest band-related news is, I went for an unfill last week. Just kept having vomiting episodes, even though at 5.2 cc's my band was less full than it's been for most of the time since surgery. My surgeon was great about it, took out 0.2 cc's and I immediately felt better. In fact, we both heard the little POP when he took out the fill and things opened up and all the gunk went through instead of sitting there in my esophagus waiting to come back up.

That's a nice image, isn't it?

Anyway, for the most part I've been feeling OK since then. Tight tonight, but I attribute that to a stressful and busy day. Which hopefully will offset the pretty bad snacking spree I had yesterday.

Tomorrow marks three weeks until Hubs and I leave for our 10th anniversary trip to Italy. I've kind of fallen off the exercise wagon, so I'm setting a goal of doing 15 workouts between now and takeoff on October 5th.

Can she do it?

Stay tuned...

Eating Less, Sweating More

Well, look who fell off the blogging wagon? It wasn't because I didn't have anything to say - I kept thinking to myself, "That would make a good post!" and then not doing anything about it.

Anyway, the end of the summer has been busy in a great, end-of-the-summer way. We spent 10 days in the Adirondacks, swimming and tubing and kayaking and camping (well, Hubs and the boys camped). And because I am the mom, doing piles and piles of laundry, grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning up after endless meals, etc. The usual.

My 9-year-old worked on his dive:

After 10 summers of sitting on the sidelines, I finally learned how to drive the boat!

Hubs took the boys canoeing while my 2-year-old and I paddled behind in the kayak.


I'm still trying to catch up on everyone's blogs, but let's wrap this post up with a few bullets:

* Last time I posted, I was rocking the exercise but not so much the eating. While we were vacationing, I was so busy trying to tire out the kids that I didn't eat as much and actually lost weight despite being in a cottage with multiple packs of Hershey bars (for s'mores).

* I fell off the exercise wagon a little bit while I was away. I did a three-mile run/walk once but otherwise it was so busy that I didn't take the time for other formal workouts.

* Hurricane Irene threw a wrench into our plans, so we ended up staying an extra couple days in the mountains (and lost power up there from the storm!) and then bobbing and weaving our way home past downed trees and a couple washed-away bridges. Lots of adventure.

* We came home late Monday, the kids were supposed to start school today. Because we still have storm damage and some roads are still closed, they've pushed the start of school till Wednesday. I don't think I can handle this many more days of summer adventure. I'm exhausted.

* Yesterday morning I got a call from the Big Time Newspaper asking me to work on a storm aftermath story. I dropped everything and spent seven hours reporting, and they didn't end up using any of it. That's never happened to me. They didn't even call to tell me! I knew because I didn't get a call from the copy desk last night with questions. To add insult to injury, the story ran on the front page and they put my name in the "additional reporting by" box even though none of my reporting made it into the story. I told Gilly it's like a pity f**k. Ugh.

* I went for a tiny fill on Tuesday, went from 5.0 cc's to 5.2 cc's. Was so busy yesterday that I had nothing but iced tea until 7 pm. Can you believe that? Because people, I cannot. believe. that.

* I went back to the gym this morning, first workout in a while. TOUGH class, but I made it through and felt decently strong. YAY me!

* Oldest Child and I are road-tripping this weekend. My old roommate invited us to an airshow at her husband's military base. My son is reallllly into everything military and pilots and airplanes, so we're making the trip to see the Blue Angels perform and check out the Naval Academy.

If you're traveling this Labor Day weekend, be sure to look for me on the Jersey turnpike!

Dear Food: Why Must You Taste So Good?

Well, I'm eating too much. We've had houseguests, lots of them, and I've been using the occasion to cook and eat all my favorite things. With the results you'd expect: 213.4 this morning.

Sugar is tough, but the carbs are really killing me. I have got to dial it back in a biiiiig way with crackers, pretzels, etc. Should I just go cold turkey? Probably.

The workouts have been as consistent as they can be with the inconsistent schedule (we went to visit my family for four days last week, arrived home Sunday, more family members arrived Monday and left yesterday and we leave Saturday for a week in the Adirondacks). I've been shooting for five intense workouts a week, and I've managed to hit four or five for each of the last four weeks. Some of those workouts have been walk/runs that are part of my training program to get back into running. So that part is going great, at least.

I haven't been commenting, but I've been reading a lot of your blogs. Theresa and Jen, I sooooo feel your pain, and could have written your blog posts for you. But you did it so well, I don't need to!

Finally, I'm loving everyone's excitement about the upcoming BOOBs adventure in Chicago. So bummed I can't join you, but I know it will be a fabulously good time. Remember to thank your local planner: They're working HARD to make sure you love every minute.

Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde

My band is playing games with my head. As far as I know, I have less fluid in my band right now than I've had in ages. I've even gained afew pounds, despite efforts to sidestep sliders and stick with lean protein. And exercise a lot.

Last night wasn't a great eating night: I met a friend for dinner and ended up having lobster risotto. Went down fine.

This morning, I had a cheese stick wrapped with a slice of turkey and could only eat two bites before I had to stop. Tonight, I made roasted shrimp over spinach and had to stop after two shrimp. I know shrimp can be tricky with a band, but guess what: MY BAND HAS LESS FLUID THAN IT'S HAD IN AGES.

It's just weird.

In other, happier, news, I'm kicking ass with the workouts. Went to an interval training class today and I'm feeling it. That's my fourth workout this week. Yay for that.

Wherein Gilly & Catherine Push Me Along

I have things to discuss, but I'm having weird writer's block lately when it comes to blog posts. I'm sure there's some deep psychological reason for that.

So let's do bullet points:

* My Sunday weigh-in was so abysmal that dear, sweet Gilly told me we will be accountable to each other. I started logging using LoseIt and was perplexed about the weight gain until I hit today, when I have eaten everything in sight. Sigh.

* Catherine posted her secret to getting to goal and it made me sit up and pay attention. Consequently, it's been an awesome exercise week for me. Boot camp on Monday, lap swimming Tuesday and a kick-ass Powerstrike (it's as scary as it sounds) class yesterday. Today, I rest. My muscles can't take no more. Tomorrow I'm planning another class, rest on Saturday and then on Sunday I start my training program for a 5-mile race I'd like to do in October.

* Speaking of the October race, I'd really like to run a five-miler in Central Park on Oct. 30. My knees are hinky, though, so I'm going to start the training program and see how I feel. The program only calls for three days a week of running, so maybe it's do-able.

* Because I only have 5 cc's in my band - less than I've had at any other point since just after surgery - I'm having to relearn band rules. I had been relying on sliders like soup and chili way too often. For the most part, I really can eat solid protein now so I need to step up my efforts to back off the crackers and soup and stick to the protein and veggies. Last night I had red snapper and sauteed artichoke hearts for dinner. Fabulously delicious.

It's a BRAND NEW BLOG!

Well, a new blog design, courtesy of the fabulous Jen at Just Foolin' Blog Designs. The woman is brilliant. Hire her for a little tweak or a total overhaul. You won't regret it.

I have lots to say but have been too lazy to write. Back soon to talk about boot camp, a not-so-filled band, summer adventures and preparing for a fun fall.

A Better Day

I'm rehydrated. Ahhhhhh.

My surgeon took out 0.5 cc's yesterday; he wanted to take a full 1.0 cc but I asked if he would do the half and he agreed. When I couldn't get much down for lunch yesterday, I was kicking myself. But I think the problem is exacerbated by hormones - I ovulated, so that always makes my band tighter. Oh, and it's 103 degrees today. That may have something to do with it.

I also have a barium x-ray scheduled for Monday. (Is that the same as a fluoro? No idea.) Dr. M said he thinks the band placement is fine, based on the symptoms I am describing to him, but was happy to check and make sure. I go back Wednesday to have a little bit of fluid put back in once the stomach swelling goes down. Thanks for your comments and concern, it really means a lot to me. Your suggestions are really helpful.

In other news, I am plugging away here, 205.2 today. We have a couple social events this weekend - dinner tonight with friends who are going bicoastal. They are some of my favorite people, and they have the most absolutely awesome New York City apartment I've ever been in. I could go on vacation there - every single thing is in its place (no kids, obvs) and is beautiful and meaningful. They're selling the apartment, and I'm mourning that I'll never get to see it again.

It's funny, when I moved to New York at 26 I figured most people lived in modest apartments, but I really didn't have any idea just how modest. When I met Hubs, he lived in a one-bedroom box with his grandmother's old furniture and packed IKEA bookshelves, and that was pretty impressive since he was able to live by himself in a decent neighborhood. (I rented the living room of a one-bedroom apartment from another girl, who lived in the bedroom and we shared the kitchen and bathroom in a semi-remote part of Manhattan.) Anyway, I'm sad to see our friends go, although it sounds like a great adventure for them.

Tomorrow night we are venturing into the sweltering city for dinner and to see The Book of Mormon with some other friends. I'm looking forward to seeing this show, I've heard great things about it. Was planning to wear a dress but I'm concerned I may rub my thighs raw walking from the restaurant to the theater in zillion-degree heat. I guess it's going to be a black linen pants kind of evening.

Dehydrated, And Lighter

We survived the flight, but the sipping I did on the plane came back to haunt me and I slimed my way through baggage claim, running back and forth from the claim belt to the bathroom, trudging through an under-airconditioned JFK outside to find my husband, who was waiting in a different terminal because Delta switched us at the last minute but neglected to tell anyone.

I slimed into garbage cans, sweating and trying to keep the kids on the sidewalk and the luggage cart from rolling into traffic. When we finally found Hubs, I sat miserably in the car for 45 minutes until I finally threw up into an airsick bag I nipped from JetBlue a few months ago (Delta didn't have any). It was awful.

Last night I sipped a couple - literally, a couple - ounces of tea before bed. This morning I've had a few sips of tea again, but it's not going down easily. Thank God I have an appointment today.

The thing is, I'm at 5.5 cc's, which historically has never been a problem for me. I'm sure the combination of elevation, flying and ridiculous humidity at home is exacerbating the situation. I wonder, though, if I should ask for a fluoro just to make sure everything is OK. I haven't had one since my first fill.

I weighed in a 205.4 today, which is a recent (but not all-time) low. On one hand, it's nice to be back in shouting distance of Onederland. On the other hand, I am exhausted, starving and irritable. All I can think about is being able to eat again.

I Threw Up in an Airport Garbage Can Today...

... while my three children and a stunned redcap looked on.

It's been a rough trip with my band. The first four or five days in Park City, my band was really tight. Liquids-only tight. I managed, had a few sliming episodes, but generally was able to keep it in check. The last couple of days have been awful. This morning I had three sips of a Slim-Fast, which I've had every morning since we arrived, and spent three hours throwing it up in the aforementioned garbage can plus three bathrooms on the way to our gate.

I'm worried I'll get dehydrated - I didn't have much yesterday and this morning just the Slim-Fast. I did manage a very small cup of hot tea on the plane so far. Two-Year-Old threw a royal conniption at takeoff, which was delightful for everyone involved. She's now watching Curious George on my phone and I'm praying the battery survives the next few hours.

The good news is, we're on our way home after an otherwise fantastic vacation. We land in New York a little before 6 pm, and I'm seeing my band doc tomorrow morning. We'll see what he has to say then.

Who Doesn't Love Soup in July?

Thank goodness I'm visiting a ski town, and most of the restaurants here still have some kind of soup on the menu. Because, friends, it's been a mostly liquids kind of vacation so far. I really wasn't too tight before but I think the combination of flying and now staying at a higher altitude (about 7500 feet) has my band clamped shut. Last week my start weight for the challenge was 210.8; this morning it's 209.

I actually drank a SlimFast for breakfast, and I haven't had a SlimFast in ages. But I got sick after dinner last night and I just needed some quick protein this morning that I knew wouldn't give me any trouble. The smoothie I got yesterday from Starbucks was a little too thick, but the SlimFast was fine. So I sucked it up and took in my 10 grams of protein. Which went a long way in keeping me from feeling pouty and cranky.

We're having beautiful weather here, and we went to a street festival this morning. The kids loved it - face painting, bounce house, lunch at a diner on Main Street, wandering and exploring. My little one had a tantrum royale, but that's the prerogative of a two-year-old, I suppose. Better at a street fair than at the symphony (as if...).

The Hubs leaves tomorrow to go back to work, and then we won't see him till we go home on the 20th. So we hired a babysitter and we have a romantic dinner planned for tonight. I'm looking forward to it. (There's soup on the menu. I checked.)

My parents arrive Tuesday with my nephew, and we have some hiking and biking adventures in the works. Mostly we're just enjoying the change of pace and scenery. Maybe I'll come home having lost a few more pounds.

The Wild West

We arrived today in Park City alive, after boarding the plane and discovering that despite Delta's promises (ON MY BOARDING PASS) we had no seatback televisions. Which is a bummer on a five and a half hour flight with three children.

I have Steve Jobs to thank for the ensuing... calm. I distributed a variety of Apple products loaded with games and Scooby Doo episodes and between that and the snacks, we all survived (as did our seatmates).

I love it here. Hot, sunny days followed by cool nights is my idea of heaven. Mountain air, hiking with the kids, exploring the town, begging the locals for Hollywood gossip from Sundance, staying in a house with a beautiful view... it's dreamy. I am making a point of appreciating every bit of it.

No surprise, my band was tight during the flight. We got in late enough that I tried to just have a couple bagel chips for dinner. Didn't go down all that easily, so I had a cheese stick and will see how things seem tomorrow. I see soup in my future.

I Have Reflux

I've noticed for a couple weeks now some heartburn in the late afternoons and evening but I was hoping it was a one-off thing.

It's happened often enough now that I don't think it is just episodic. I think I have reflux, and I think my band is causing it. I've only ever had heartburn while I'm pregnant, and I know *for sure* that's not the case now. I have been dreading this, as so many other bandsters have run into reflux about 15-18 months after surgery. My surgery was 19 months ago.

The heartburn isn't terrible, at least not yet, and I'm not waking up coughing at night. But I'm concerned about where this is heading. I took a Zantac half an hour ago and I'm hoping it'll keep the heartburn under control.

We're heading out of town again on Friday. I can't wait to enjoy the mountain air and do some fun hikes with the kids! I have an appointment with my surgeon when I get home, and I'll see what he has to say about all this.

Home!

We're back, after a whirlwind vacation to Atlantis in the Bahamas. My parents took all 15 members of our immediate family to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. It was chaotic, and so much fun. I'm exhausted.

I'm looking forward to catching up on everyone's blogs. Special thanks to Jessica at Island Bandit, who provided totally fantastic guidance on our trip. People, she even got me the cellphone number of someone in her surgeon's office in case I had a band emergency while I was away. That is true band sisterhood. I'm only sorry we didn't get to meet up. Did I mention it was chaotic? (My middle child got lost twice. I am a bad mother.)

The (Accidental) Brazilian

**
We leave Thursday for our vacation, so I scheduled a bikini wax today.

I rarely get bikini waxes; they require me to show in broad daylight parts of my body I otherwise save only for gynecological exams. Also, I had a particularly unfortunate experience with a bikini wax in 2009, a few days before the birth of my third child. The waxing lady's wax was too hot, but I didn't realize it at the time because she spritzed me with a numbing spray. It wasn't until I got home and started experiencing excruciating pain, requiring me to take to my bed with my hooch covered in ice packs, that I realized something had gone terribly wrong. It was another day or two, when the peeling started, before I realized it wasn't an allergic reaction to the wax but rather an honest-to-God second-degree burn featuring blistering and peeling. All over my lady parts. While I was 10 months pregnant. Which, I can't lie, added a certain unpleasantness to my C-section.

But I'm 38 now, so I'm trying to branch out and act like a pragmatic grownup who knows that waxing is the way to go for a beach vacation. Since I was going to be at the spa already, I also scheduled a facial.

There was a (minor, I thought at the time) language barrier, wherein the aesthetician was from Eastern Europe and speaks English as a second language. I thought nothing of it. She asked what kind of wax I wanted and I said, "Definitely not a Brazilian. Just regular." And then the facial commenced, with lotions and potions and lovely facial massage and a long and borderline excruciating extraction process. Finally, she put a thick masque on my skin, leaving small openings for my nostrils and lips but otherwise slathering it on nice and thick.

Then, while the masque was setting, she moved to do the bikini wax. I was laying on the table, legs akimbo, face immobilized by expensive goop. The aesthetician lady moved quickly and before I realized what was happening, I felt the heat of the wax and heard the whirrrring of electric clippers followed by several hair-raising rrrrrips that resulted in so much pain I shrieked, "YIKES."

"Don't worry, we're done," she said briskly. "With that side."

Then it started all over again, on the other side. And I was powerless, blinded by the masque goop, totally exposed from the waist down, menaced by the electric trimmers and starting to twitch from the entire experience.

At the end, I was presented with a $254 bill. Numbed and dazed, I paid and stumbled to my car.

Tomorrow I go back to my surgeon for a fill. I can't imagine it will be even remotely as traumatic as the wax.

** This is actually what I look like.

Self-Stabbing: A Cautionary Tale

I wasn't sure if I would blog about this, because I know my reputation for being boring and uptight responsible will take a major hit. But since I started this blog to keep track of the whole band saga, I can't leave this part out.

About three weeks ago I had a fill, and it was a tough one. I was too tight, as Gilly wisely pointed out when I mentioned that I threw up way too often. But I have an appointment scheduled for next week so I was hoping to just hang on, maybe drop a few extra pounds and see my surgeon just before we leave for the Bahamas next week.

I had several consecutive days of throwing up every day, sometimes twice. This is really rare for me - when I get sick, it's usually once every month or so, around ovulation or my period. That's it. But just as I was about to call my doctor, the damn thing opened up and I was able to eat with caution. Definitely enough to get the nutrition I needed, although probably not enough solids. Anyway, was planning to get the unfill when I go in on the 20th.

Then on Tuesday I got sick in the morning, and things just got worse and worse. I was in the middle of preparing for a cocktail party and kept having to run to throw up. I was shaky from not having been able to keep anything down, miserable and beyond anxious about the party.

My doctor's office is usually tough to get into, and time was of the essence. While I was heaving into the toilet, I looked up and saw a baggie with a syringe and needle. My surgeon had given it to me to take when I travel, after I told him that my mom and sister are nurses. He gave me rudimentary tips to pass on to them, and reassured me that in a pinch he thought they'd be fine taking some fluid out because it's not that hard.

Here, friends, is where the wheels came off.

All logic went out the window. I was desperate to loosen my band, there were people downstairs getting my house ready for a party, my kids were about to come home from school, I was expecting 70 guests in a few hours. I washed my hands, swabbed my abdomen with alcohol and started stabbing. I laid down (like my surgeon does it), but couldn't hit the target. I stood up. Still no luck. I swabbed and swabbed the little pinholes of blood, feeling more desperate every time and occasionally stopping to throw up again. Good times.

Finally, even I realized this was a really bad idea. I called my surgeon's office; he was out of town but his partner agreed to meet me. I was hugely relieved.

Then I started panicking, because it was pretty clear that someone had been messing with my port. I figured I'd get Worst Patient in the World status if I told the truth, but I rarely, rarely lie. I would like to tell you it's because I know lying is wrong and it's a moral boundary that I don't care to cross. The truth (ha, see how I did that?) is that I don't lie because I am terrible at it, almost always start sweating before I have even finished telling the lie, and end up blurting out the truth before the other person has had a chance to say a word.

But this time I had no intention of telling this doctor I had never met before that I had repeatedly stabbed myself in the stomach with a syringe. Instead, I told him my mom was visiting, she gave it a try per the other doctor's tips and didn't have any luck.

Guess what? He didn't actually care. He's a jolly Greek guy, very sweet, listened to my explanation, took a look and started giggling. He told me when he was a resident they used to call it the "showerhead," lots of little pricks in a circle when someone's trying to hit the target and misses over and over. Heh.

He unfilled me, a lot, to give everything a chance to calm down. I went from 5.7 cc's to 4.2 cc's. So now I feel better and I'm able to eat, which is both a blessing and a curse. I go back to my regular surgeon on Tuesday to get back to a more reasonable fill level, but lower than I had been before.

Through all of this, I have not lost a single pound. I can't say I'm loving my band right now, I really can't.

However, by some grace of God, I don't have MRSA or any other godawful infection from my mishap with the needle. Take it from me: Don't try to unfill yourself. I won't be doing it again, that's for sure.

Running With Rob Lowe

I went for a run last night. I haven't run in a good long while, and it wasn't as hard as I expected, possibly because I was running at a 45-minute-mile-ish pace. My knees gave me some grief, but aren't sore today so I'm hoping they will adjust.

I'm listening to Rob Lowe's memoir on audible.com and in addition to bringing back lots of teen-angst hours fantasizing about those eyes and that jawline, it's a funny and insightful book about his life and career.

I was out for 40 minutes, alternated running and walking and didn't burn anything near as much as I burn in my average gym class, calorie-wise. So I won't be ditching the gym for running entirely, but it's a nice option when I don't have a lot of time for a full gym visit.

I'm 209.4 as of this morning, which is somewhat perplexing since I've been fairly tight and eating not bad. I'll just keep eating good stuff and exercising, and at some point it'll have to start moving in my favor, right?

Tonight we're hosting a cocktail party for new families coming to my kids' nursery school; we're expecting about 70 people. The patio is power washed, the windows are sparkling, the flowers are planted and the wine is chilling. Wish me luck.

I Think I'm Doing It Wrong

Greetings from the land of retching, gagging and sliming. I've had three episodes in the last couple of days, and it's getting old fast.

I can't tell if I'm too tight, or if I'm just not being careful enough. On one hand, if I didn't eat or drink anything ever I definitely wouldn't throw up. On the other hand, maybe I just haven't gotten serious enough about tiny bites, 30 seconds in between each bite (thanks for that reminder, V), etc.

Oh blah, I don't know. This is so wearying sometimes, it makes me crazy. I'm at 208.2, and as of today I've lost 57.3 pounds in the 17 months since my surgery. These are not impressive numbers, and I'm frustrated. I'm clearly doing this wrong. People lose double this amount in their first year!

This morning I was hungry and heading to the gym, so I took three tiny - TINY - bites of a Zone bar while I was helping to pack up my boys for tonight's big Cub Scout campout. Those bites didn't go down and it took forever to get it all out - I wrapped it up throwing up into a bag in the gym parking lot, was late for my exercise class and ended up just doing 40 minutes on the elliptical.

The other night I got sick on turkey chili that I blended and thinned with chicken stock. I mean, COME ON. Really?

Before this latest fill of 0.1 cc's, I felt like I was eating wayyy too much. This time I feel like I can't eat very much and I hate hate HATE all these vomiting episodes. But we're talking about a difference of 0.1 cc's here. Minuscule.

Obviously there needs to be a behavioral component involved, but shouldn't there be a happy middle ground? I just can't figure this out. And now I'm swollen from getting sick this morning so I'm afraid of eating.

Makeover Week, Part 1

I signed up for one of those free "events" at Bobbi Brown today and had a little makeover. Of course, it didn't end up being free since I bought a bunch of the stuff the makeup artist used. But we got a crappy diagnosis today for my five-year-old niece, so it was a nice little distraction.

Tomorrow I go for a much-needed haircut, so please excuse the pulled-back hair.




I took some of my new clothes to the tailor for some nips and tucks, and I'll model those and my new shoes when I get them all back.

I'm trying to decide now whether to meet a friend for kickboxing tonight at the gym or take advantage of the glorious weather and just go for a nice, long walk. Either way, good options for exercise, right?

How's That Fill Working Out For Ya?

I notice a real difference with this fill. It was tiny, just 0.1 cc, but it's like night and day in terms of what I can and can't eat. Which is good - my volume is way down, and bad - can't do much in the way of vegetables.

I've stuck mostly to liquids to be on the safe side, but there's some weirdness happening. Yesterday I was able to eat a moist turkey burger at a lunchtime bbq (I know, crazy, right?) but got stuck after two bites of scallops last night at dinner. This morning my tea took a while to drink and I had blended turkey chili for lunch to keep things going down easy. Tonight I had a bite of parmesan cheese, it got stuck and now I'm sliming.

I've had a lot less sugar and a lot more exercise, and guess what? The scale isn't moving. So I'm frustrated.

But I tried on my pretty new dress this afternoon and it looks nice. I'm trying to be positive even though I'm feeling kind of pissy.

I am thinking less often about food, and not feeling much hunger, now that I think about it. So that's good too.

At my appointment, I talked to my surgeon about my trip to the Bahamas later this month, and how nervous I am that I'll get too tight and spend the whole time getting sick. After I told him my mom and sister are both nurses, he gave me a syringe and needle to take with me so if I have an emergency they can take some fluid out of my band. It's extreme, but it's a huge weight off my shoulders and now I don't feel like I'll have to get an unfill before we go to make sure all goes smoothly.

OK, I think whatever was stuck has moved on. No PB this time. WOOT.

Fill Fill Fill

I got a little fill today, just 0.1 cc. Had a long chat with my surgeon about my lack of progress over the last several months, and he went over the basics again with me. Which is really what I need to focus on. He gently reminded me that sometimes eating comfortably with the band isn't the same as eating wisely with the band.

I went to the gym and worked out this afternoon, and I'm on a mission to drop the seven pounds that have crept up on me since the end of March and keep going until my weight FINALLY starts with a 1.

My new clothes from Saks arrived today! Still have to try them on in the comfort of my house to decide how much I really like them.

Shopping Photos

It's been so long since I've posted, I'm going the bullet route.

* I had a slight unfill at the end of March because I had some trips coming up and was afraid I'd run into trouble while I was away from home. I scheduled a fill appointment when I got back from one trip but rescheduled because I had to go back to Florida for a few days. That second appointment was a bust because I waited for 45 minutes and the doctor still had another 15-20 minutes before he could see me. My daughter was about to lose it, so I rescheduled. The office called me to cancel that one because my doctor was unavailable. I am FINALLY supposed to get a small fill tomorrow. Cross your fingers that it actually happens. I'm going to suggest my doctor hire a PA to handle fills.

* My eating has not been great. Since the unfill, I've gained a few pounds, and they're real pounds, not water weight. Weighed in at 210.2 yesterday.

* My exercise is really starting to gain momentum. An awesome new gym opened in our town, and let me tell you it's been a long time coming. Until now, we haven't had much to speak of in terms of a really fun, nice place with great facilities and innovative classes. To that end, I decided to try every single group fitness class the gym offers. So far I've tried six different classes (a few of them, like Zumba and spinning, several times). It's fun to mix it up.

* I have a big family beach vacation next month, and I need a couple dresses for dinners and some summer stuff. My sizes haven't changed much; I remain in limbo between fat-girl store clothes and regular store clothes. Which makes shopping a little more complicated and not a lot of fun when I have to concede defeat and go to the plus size section.

I got this at Bloomingdale's a few weeks ago, and had a few compliments when I wore it recently:




Here's my problem (in addition to not being able to wear normal sizes): I want to look put together. I would like to be able to put an outfit together and accessorize. I'm not good at it. I really want someone to just pick out my clothes for me every day, and make sure they're comfortable.

I took a page from Catherine's book, since she is always so impeccably dressed, and made an appointment at Saks Fifth Avenue with a personal shopper. Yesterday, I took the train into New York and had a nice little day to myself. I was so looking forward to this appointment, and I think my expectations were a little too high. I was hoping she would tell me exactly what to wear and what not to wear, which shoes to wear with things and what jewelry to put with each outfit. I think she would have, if only I had asked for complete outfits. It didn't occur to me to be that specific, but I will next time.

I tried on about 20 dresses, shirts and pants and bought four things. I only got pictures of two of them, when the dresser stepped outside for a minute, because I felt like a jackass taking pictures of myself in front of her and her assistant. In both of these pictures, I'm wearing the jeans I wore into the city yesterday, so pay no attention to the bottom half. (Also, it was rainy and humid so my hair went all crazy frizzy.)

I had asked the dresser to pull sizes 16, 18 and 20 for me. The 20s were uniformly too big, as were most of the 18 tops, so that was good news. I am still firmly an 18 on the bottom. Blech.

This one is a silk Michael Kors number, on sale:


This one is a little too tight so I'll save it for a few pounds from now. I feel like it's kind of Jersey housewife, so let me know if you don't like it. Be honest!


I had my hair highlighted between the two shopping outings. Now I just need a haircut.

When I get the dress I bought I'll try it on. I like it, but I'm not in love with it like I was in love with Shaun Cassidy in kindergarten. So we'll see...

Checkin' in

I really don't have much to say, which is why I haven't posted in a while. I've been reading, but not posting a lot.

My weight was 209.4 this morning. That's up about six pounds from my most recent low. I was supposed to get a fill last week but after waiting for 45 minutes at my doctor's office, my toddler was about to blow so I had to reschedule for a week from today.

I had a kick-ass kickboxing class on Sunday, and I'm still sore from it. That was fun. Mother's Day was great - I had the traditional inedible breakfast in bed (a smoothie made with yogurt that expired on April 28th), served by my children. They were excited and tried to be super fancy waiters, which was adorable.

I'm eating too much sugar, I'm eating too much sugar, I'm eating too much sugar.

I'm a Lazy Blogger

It's so true: As success wanes, so does blogging.

The bad news: I've gained six pounds, topping out at 211.6 this morning.

The good news: I had two really great workouts this week, Zumba and spinning.

I have one last trip to Florida tomorrow to wrap up a few things. I do so love flying with a toddler. Dear Person Sitting in Row 17 on our flight tomorrow: I am so sorry if my daughter has a conniption and kicks your seat. I tried to get an "extra legroom" seat but they were all taken. The car seat takes up a lot of space. I will hold her ankles as best I can. Sincerely, Mom of an almost 2-year-old.

I'm back home Wednesday and getting a small fill a couple days after that, which I hope will help get things back on the right track.

Florida NSVs

First things first: My dad's medical tests came back with fantastic news - the condition he has is treatable, and doesn't involve cancer. We are all tremendously relieved, and I thank you for your kind words and prayers for our family. You really comforted me.

I've spent the last week in Florida visiting my parents, hanging with the kids and having an all-too-short romantic weekend with my husband. It was sunny and hot and beautiful, a lovely change from the dreary, rainy spring we're having in New England.

My parents spend half the year in Naples, Fla., and when we visit we have a wonderful time but we completely wear them out. They go from zero to 70 for an entire week, and they aren't used to that much chaos at one time for such a sustained period. So when a condo in their building came on the market, Hubs and I decided to buy it. The sale was finalized on Wednesday. Once we get this puppy furnished, we'll be able to visit without overwhelming my parents. It's a great solution for us and for them. This trip was a little schizophrenic - mornings at the beach swimming in the Gulf of Mexico, and then afternoons at Bed, Bath & Beyond, Lowe's and Target.

Hubs had to work but came down late Thursday, and I left the kids with my parents and met him at a resort in Naples. Friday morning, we picked up the kids and went to the coolest county park ever - the Sun N Fun Lagoon water park. It was totally awesome, they had something fun and exciting for each of our kids. We loved it.

NSV Alert: I had to walk all around the water park in nothing but my bathing suit. No wrap, no cover-up, nothing. Just me and a swimsuit. AND I DID IT. I wasn't 100 percent comfortable - those women have some killer bodies in Naples. But I didn't spent the entire time dying of mortification, either. I had fun. I went on the water slides and laughed with my boy on the lazy river when we got stuck under a "waterfall" and my straw hat got soaked. I had a good time.

Also, I wore a pair of khakis that I bought last spring. They worked then, but were on the tighter side. This year, they fit perfectly. I haven't lost much weight at all lately, so this was a really nice boost for me. Changes are happening, even if they're not evident on the scale.

I hope you're all well. I'm off to start catching up on everyone's blogs. Happy Easter!

Monday, Monday

Where did the week go? I don't know about you, but I did NOT spend my week at the gym. No, I spent my week doing regular everyday stuff and trying to keep a lid on the antibiotic-induced nausea. (Zantac was helpful with that.) I went to the gym one day and felt really weak, so much so that I left after 20 minutes and canceled my appointments for the rest of last week.

Today I went back and did a 30-minute light workout with my trainer. I feel lame and can't believe how much this single infection has knocked me down. But today is my last dose of Cipro and I know I'll be able to get back to where I was at the gym. But this experience has been eye-opening.

My weight is up a bit but I'm having a lovely tomato, mozzarella and basil salad for lunch so I think with increased veggies and staying strict on my protein/veggies/little to no carbs routine I'll be able to turn things around.

More importantly, my sweet sweet dad is having a health scare and I am completely freaked out about this. He's only 62. Please keep him in your thoughts and prayers. We love him so much and we want to keep him healthy.

I'm a Hot Mess

I haven't been able to shake my infection, I'm achy and uncomfortable. My doctor hooked me up with some Cipro and my mother tells me that should knock me back to normal in the next day or two.

In the meantime, I've been eating everything in sight yesterday and today. I think it's partly emotional. I'm sick and a little overwhelmed with the usual household stuff, school stuff and the planning I need to do for summer. (Does anyone else feel like a freakin' cruise director when you're trying to get kids' activities and camps organized?) Also, Hubs is in the Middle East on business and I'm not thrilled about it.

But I'm asking myself: Why does a person eat when she's not hungry? Especially with the band, there's no excuse for that bullshit. It's taking away the whole benefit of having a band. Frustrating. It's a little tricky, because if I wait too long then I eat too fast and all hell breaks loose with my band. But I'm clearly eating when I'm not hungry, possibly out of habit or boredom or whatever.

You've all given me some good tips about shaking up my routines to get out of bad habits and create new ones, and I need to put those into practice. Like, now.

Guess What I Brought Home From Disney World?

One point eight pounds.

Not horrible, not great. I can deal with it.

The Inconvenient Truth (About the Band)

The truth is: This band of mine can be damn inconvenient sometimes. Don't get me wrong, I love it and what it does for me, and I'm grateful to have it.

But my band really sent me off the rails this morning.

Over the weekend my band was inexplicably tight. It was a bummer, but it was not unmanageable. I didn't actually throw anything up, I just felt realllllly uncomfortable and slimed so I stopped trying to eat. But then my morning tea wouldn't go down smoothly and I got a little dehydrated because I was scared to have much of anything. Miraculously, last night things got a little better and I actually ate dinner.

And then this morning, for the first time in at least a decade, I woke up with a raging urinary-tract infection. I'm gonna go ahead and blame it on being dehydrated.

I have a 5.15 am pickup tomorrow for my kid's Disney trip. I went to a CVS MinuteClinic this morning, told them my tale of woe, peed into a cup and left with a large-ish bottle of liquid antibiotic. That may or may not cause diarrhea, but probably will clear up my UTI.

Then I went to my surgeon's office, where my doctor heroically ran to meet me after he left the OR. He very kindly withdrew a couple drops, taking me from 5.6 cc's to 5.45 cc's. He wanted to do a little more but I wanted just enough so I wouldn't get in trouble in humid Orlando. He was very nice and sympathetic.

I am slightly feverish and shivery and my kidneys are sore and it hurts to pee, but I'm hopeful that once I get the second dose of antibiotic in my system tonight things will turn around.

What Would You Do?

Yesterday I had a nice lunch and last night I sat down to dinner and couldn't eat more than 1/3 of an artichoke and some wine. Nothing else at all.

This morning I couldn't finish my tea, although by lunchtime my band had opened up enough for me to get some protein.

Tonight at dinner: Nothing.

Now, my band has been fine for the last couple of weeks. I did notice it was tighter when I was in humid Florida last month, maybe because I retain water and it makes the band tighter? Don't know, really. But this leads me to my dilemma: I leave at dawn Tuesday to take my son on a big Disney trip. I'm starting to get really nervous that I'll get there and not be able to get liquids down because it's so hot and humid in Orlando.

I called my practice today, and my surgeon is not on call this weekend. I'm going to call Monday morning and beg them to take me for a 0.1 cc unfill. I'm worried my surgeon will think I'm doing this because I'm going on vacation (although, really, who goes to Disney for the food??) and give me a hard time.

If I can't get in Monday or if he won't do the unfill, I'm not sure what to do. I did a halfhearted search for doctors in Orlando, just in case, but didn't find anything.

I'm thinking about trying to get a syringe and needle and, if things get bad, just have my mom try to do it. She's a nurse, so she knows her way around needles. She could probably figure it out, right?

What do you think? I'm kind of freaked out about this. We're only going for four days and I don't want to ruin my little boy's big trip.

Weight Watchers Update

Today was my weigh-in for Weight Watchers (the online version). I've been tracking as well as I can; it's tricky when you're not at home. But most days I've made an effort to faithfully log what I eat.

So far I've lost 3.8 pounds in nine days. I'm happy about this, although I think it's inflated because I was pretty bloated at my initial weigh-in. Also, these are pounds I've been gaining and losing for months now. I'll bust out the HOO AHH when I start seeing new numbers. I need to lose another 1.6 pounds to hit a new low.

But I'm seeing the loss as an encouraging sign.

One thing I'm noticing is that this new Points Plus plan really pushes fruits and veggies. I've been so-so with veggies since my surgery and reallllly bad with fruits, so this is a good thing for me. Right now I'm polishing off six ounces of blueberries. Guess how many points that is? ZERO, bitches. Guess what else is zero points? Artichokes.

I had three great workouts this week, which is good because I won't have any formal workouts next week. On Tuesday I'm taking my five-year-old to Disney World for his "only child" trip - no big brother bossing him around and no little sister bugging him. We'll be walking up a storm, so I'm not worried about missing those gym appointments. I'm a little worried about the food, but I'll make the best choices I can and give it my best guess when I log everything.

I just really need to get a handle on the nighttime eating. Let's break it down:

Problem One: I don't have dinner till the kids are in bed; then my husband and I sit down and eat together around 8.30 pm. When I eat with the kids I find I'm rushing so much to get stuff for them that I often get stuck because I'm not chewing enough or waiting between bites, so I sit with them and just have a glass of water while they eat.

Problem Two: I have a hard time ending my meal. I just want it to go on forever and ever.

Problem Three: Because it's a quiet time in the day and it's when my husband and I can actually talk, nighttime eating has become associated with relaxing.

Problem Four: I often have wine with dinner, so my defenses are down and it's easy to eat more than I should.

Bad habits all around. I'll have to figure out how to find a happy medium here. Additionally, I need to get rid of whatever died in our basement crawl space because the smell is starting to waft up through the floorboards.

(That's unrelated, but it's disgusting enough that I felt it merited a mention.)

Happy Friday everyone!

Someone Has a Problem With Nighttime Eating

Oh heyyyy there. You still up? Me too. Just enjoying a glass of wine, couple (six) olives, a little (two ounces) cheese, maybe a chocolate or two.

This is what's totally fu**ing up my weight loss.

BOOBS Hit New York

I had an amazing whirlwind weekend with some of the band girls. Gilly and Joey came from far, far away for a shopping trip meaningful visit with friends. They spoiled my children with totally awesome gifts, and my boys asked this morning when they were coming back to play Legos.

We gallivanted all over Manhattan and took in some of the booze sights the city has to offer. We found delicious, band-friendly food in (relatively) small portions - Cuban, Mexican, Greek and Starbucks. We walked through Central Park and Rockefeller Center and Washington Square Park and the Union Square Greenmarket. Times Square met Gilly and honestly I don't know who was more excited. We swanned through Bergdorf's and gaped at the mob scene in the Apple store. We went to the thee-uh-tah and saw a horror show called Play Dead that nearly killed me and hilarious improv at Upright Citizens Brigade. In one of my favorite moments, a Tiffany employee complimented my silver necklace and asked if I'd bought it there. He flinched a little but took it like a man when I told him the necklace was from Target.

Also, we chatted a bit.

Because years ago I swore I would "live the experience," rather than racing to record every moment, I took virtually no pictures of any of this. So you'll have to take my word for it.

We ended up with 19 BOOBS at the NYC blogger brunch on Sunday, which lasted for nearly three and a half hours. Awesome guacamole, fab margaritas and waiters who seemed slightly puzzled when they cleared plates that were still mostly full of food. I FINALLY was able to meet Dinnerland, who had her surgery the same day I had mine. People, she is even hotter in person than she looks on her blog. And super fun to talk with.

Thanks to everyone who came to the brunch, and especially to those of you who traveled from far and wide by car, bus and train just to spend a few hours with us. It was great.

Finally, I have a couple questions for the wise women (and men) of blogworld:

1. Do you take Biotin for your hair and nails? Have you found that it helps? What dosage do you take each day? I've seen 500 mcg, 1000 mcg and 5000 mcg tablets. No idea which one to take.

2. Do any of you read any great interior design blogs? I'm looking for inspiration.

Weight Watchin' and Green Wearin'

The scale has been stuckety stuck stuck for weeks and months now, and has inched back up to 209 this week (see CHOCOLATE post). I weighed 209 in August, people. Not a lot of movement here.

A couple friends have been telling me how much they like the Weight Watchers Points Plus program. I know it's time for me to start better monitoring what I'm eating. I'm doing pretty well with exercise and I'm not losing, so the problem must be with my eating.

Well, guess what? IT IS the problem. I'm allowed to have 30 points and all the fruit I can eat every day (plus activity points and weekly bonus points). Yesterday I slavishly documented everything I ate and guess what? Fifty-two (52) points. Much of that involved sugar.

So. We've identified the problem and a possible solution. Now I just need to stay focused.


In other news, HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY! If you have a minute, check out this New York Times story from a few years ago about an Irish teacher who shows her Bronx students how to do Irish step dance. Be sure to watch the video - it makes me tear up every time.

Wedding Bells - Please Help!

A couple years ago my friend Jessica's grandfather shot and stabbed her mom to death in their yard. I didn't know Jess at the time, but she joined my book club last year and I really adore her. She's a funny, sweet girl who is so positive and upbeat despite a shitty childhood and then this nightmare.

Jess just got engaged and is trying to figure out how to pay for her wedding. (The local paper wrote a story about her the other day.)

She and her fiance entered a Crate & Barrel contest, and if you have time, I'd love it if you could vote for them. Here's the link. Contest ends March 31, and the leaders have more than 3,000 votes.

Thanks a million!

CHOCOLATE (And NYC Bandster Brunch Update)

I knew that would hook you in.

Let me tell you: When you check into the Hotel Hershey, they ask whether you prefer milk or dark, and hand you a chocolate bar. As you swan through the lobby and browse the shops, you have your pick from bowls filled with Hershey Kisses. Arriving at your cottage? Here's an ENORMOUS basket of kisses and peanut butter cups and miniatures... you get the idea.

Chocolate Immersion treatment or cocoa bean rubdown at the spa? Choices, choices. And while you're pondering, have a seat next to yet another bowl of Kisses to help you make up your mind.

Forgive me, bandsters, for I have sinned.

I went to Hershey with my two besties from college to celebrate 20 years of friendship. We drank wine, ate chocolate and cheese, talked, looked at ridiculous pictures of us in college (I was seriously fugly), drank more wine, ate more chocolate, dined on cheese and crackers. Rinse and repeat.

The good news in this scenario (I guess) is that my band has been pretty tight since Saturday. So I haven't done as much damage as I could have, and I definitely haven't come close to the damage I would have done preband.

I started my penance today with a gloriously tough workout at the gym. I have three additional workouts scheduled for this week.

Finally, and most importantly: NYC Bandster Brunch is THIS Sunday, March 20th!! Details on right of my blog page. I think we're about 20 for brunch. Looking forward to seeing you all!

Do You Know Where My Energy Is?

I'm so lethargic today, and have been for the last several days. I've made sure to get plenty of sleep, but yesterday I actually went back to bed at 11 am and slept for two hours. I haven't done that since I was pregnant or getting up all night with a newborn.

This is all coming as my energy should be on the upswing with my increased exercise. I've not been crazy with the workouts, it's not like I'm spending hours and hours exercising - just three times this week. But here I am again this afternoon feeling like I could totally put my head down and be out cold in minutes.

I'm getting enough protein, I think. I haven't cut caffeine. I am just so, so tired.

Tomorrow kicks off a girls' weekend with my two best friends from college. We're going to the chocolate spa at the Hotel Hershey. I. Can't. Wait.

Jillian Has Nothing on My Children

I didn't have a chance to get to the gym today, so after the kids finished dinner I decided to make my maiden voyage into Jillian Michaels' 30-Day Shred territory.

I did Level 1, which consists of three six-minute interval circuits, plus a warmup and cooldown. I was worried 20 minutes wouldn't be enough, but worry not, friends. It was enough. Two hours later, my legs feel like I really exercised. They're a little jelly-ish.

And through the whole thing, my boys kept correcting my form ("Bend deeper, Mom. Do you see how she's doing it?"). I tried to get them to join me, but they weren't interested. The toddler has impressive pushup form, though.

Food-wise, I ordered Indian and once again my band snapped shut after a single bite. I'm starting to find this suspicious - my band has been wide open for several days but Indian food doesn't seem to agree with me. I put the Indian away, and now I can't even get my artichoke down.

Which is kind of funny, since I was planning to post about how I think I need a fill but I have a lot of travel coming up and I'm afraid to do it because once you have one bad PB, it starts a cycle of inflammation that doesn't let anything through, so you end up vomiting liquids and get dehydrated and then need an unfill. (At least, that's my experience.) I really don't want to need an unfill when I'm not close to my surgeon. So I'm going to stick with what I've got and see how it goes.

Strong. Like Ox.

I finished my workout week pretty well for a rookie. Four workouts this week - I ended up canceling Thursday because I was so fatigued from the previous three days. That ended up being a good idea and I felt good and strong at this morning's interval workout.

I really need to get my cardio up, though. Today my average heart rate was 144, which was pretty good. But if I don't tell the trainer I really need to keep the heart rate up, I can finish with an average heart rate of 121 and a puny calorie burn. Not so great on the fat-burning but at least I'm still building muscle.

Which may be why I weighed 207.8 this morning. I am not freaking out about this, though. Do you see how calm I am? So not freaking out.

I'm going to keep plugging away. Wish me luck.

The Dark Side of the Gym, Oscar Roundup & More

So much to say, so much to say, so much to say. First of all, did anyone see the Jennifer Aniston movie? Was anyone else totally stunned that Dave Matthews played Nicole Kidman's husband? I know it was meant to be a mismatch, but still. I kept squinting at the screen, saying, "Is that Dave Matthews? Do you think it's him?" to my husband, who wouldn't know Dave Matthews if he handed him a bong and smacked him upside the head with a guitar.

My takeaway from the Oscars: The spray tan is on the wane. I didn't spot any Oompa Loompas at the Academy Awards this year. Sure, glamazons are still misting themselves, but it's nothing like it was a few years ago when a tangerine Charlize Theron showed up on the red carpet and I snorted pinot noir through my nose.

Moving right along, I've fallen victim to Gym Syndrome: Start working out and experience a scale stall for a little while (please, let it be just a little while). I've gained a few pounds since going back to regular workouts. My eating hasn't changed; in fact, I think it's not bad.

I know this has happened to a bunch of bandsters in the past (Catherine and Jenny both come to mind), so I'm trying to be all zen about it and just keep plugging away because I know these workouts are making a difference in my body. I'm feeling it every day.

I will have to kick up the cardio and make sure I'm keeping my heart rate up through my workouts to maximize calorie burn. I bought a new heart-rate monitor and that already has been a help in gauging how hard I'm working and how many calories I'm burning.

And now I must bid you a fond farewell, since a 5.30 am wakeup call beckons.

OSCAR OSCAR! (And, My Thighs Are Burning)

***NYC BRUNCH UPDATE AT RIGHT.***


It's my favorite night of the year - Oscar red carpet night. We're hosting 16 of my husband's relatives for dinner, followed by a red carpet viewing party. Door prize to the first guest who spots cellulite or forehead movement on any presenter or nominee.

Please let me know in the comments what your favorite parts are. What do you think of James Franco and Anne Hathaway? Whose dress is awesome? Which star is most obviously under the influence of an illegal substance? These are the things we must discuss.

So I'm cooking, cooking, cooking and getting ready for the onslaught tonight. But in a good way.

In other news, I'm feeling better, mostly because of the kindness and rationality and compassion from your comments. You really know how to give a girl hope. Thank you.

I'm continuing my gym visits (but going at 11 am tomorrow because I want to watch the Oscars wtihout having to wake up at 5.30 am), and I have five workouts scheduled for this week. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it to all of them. My thighs are KILLING me from yesterday's session. I woke up this morning and as I walked downstairs I had a flashback to the day after I ran 26.2 miles in 1999. My thighs were just as sore, even though I didn't run at all yesterday. Must discuss with trainer.

Anyway, I went for a beautiful walk at the beach this morning, cut a little short by a recalcitrant toddler. It's a good day.

Debbie Downer, and NYC Brunch

****** NYC BRUNCH: Please see brunch update at right. *********

In looking through my recent posts, there's virtually no substance. I'm not writing about feelings or much about where I am with my band, just a sentence here or quip there with little insight.

Here's where I am: At a standstill, as I have been for six+ months, in a four-pound range between 204 and 208. My measurements are the same as they've been for a few months, although I do think that will change as I continue working out.

Here's what I think about it: It sucks. I am failing at this.

Here's how I feel about it: Depressed. Disappointed. Resigned. Hopeless.

Here's what I'm doing about it: Going to the gym, which is a start but not doing much on the scale. I'm eating way too much sugar, in the form of chocolate. On the upside, my body is sore from good workouts yesterday and this morning, so that's good.

I am seeing so many of you with much success, and I'm thrilled for you. At the same time, I'm so disappointed that I'm just not doing well with this. I'm surprised, I really thought the band would be just what I needed to get myself on track.

When I took that glorious drug Phen-Fen (or was it Fen-Phen?) in the late 90s, I rocked it. I lost 75 pounds in nine months, started running, ran lots of 5ks and 10ks and eventually a full marathon. Food was a nonissue for me during much of that time. I ate, I enjoyed my meals, and that was it. No thinking about food, no inner battles, none of that. It was like the medicine flipped a switch and put me into the 'normal' category with regard to my relationship with food.

One of the frustrations I'm feeling is that right now I have 5.6 cc's in my band. It's tight enough that there are plenty of times when I simply cannot eat anymore, and I stop. I'm disappointed, but I get over it within an hour and then I'm relieved that I didn't overeat.

Sometimes, though, I'm hungry. And when I can't eat it is maddening.

So I don't want to get a fill. 5.75 cc's has twice been wayyy too tight for me, and I've gotten weak and dehydrated.

Where I am now, I can eat solids. I definitely can eat sliders.

I know the things I can do to make this better: Try a five-day pouch test. Cut chocolate out altogether. Focus more on solid protein (I've done okay on this).

Oh, blah. I'm just tired of thinking about this.

NYC BRUNCH DETAILS

Hi everyone,

Our March 20 brunch is turning into quite an event - we're up to 20 bandsters, both veterans and newbies. I've made a reservation for us. Please email me at catchytitlehereblog@gmail.com and I will send you the specifics.

Thanks,
Kristin

NYC BRUNCH - Need final headcount!

Hi everyone,

I'll need to call Dos Caminos and reserve a table for our March 20th brunch. We are planning a noon start.

Please let me know if you're in so I can get a solid headcount and make the reservation.

Sunday, March 20th, 12 pm
Dos Caminos

So far, I have:
Gilly
Joey
Liz
Annie
Catherine
Jenny (Life's Little Journey)
Cindylew
MLM
Vanessa (Dinnerland)
Carmen
Yana
Barbara and daughter
Read
Bonnie
Linda
Banded Mommy Angie
Stef
Susan
Colleen
Nicole
Kristen
Kristin

TOTAL: 23

Can't wait to see all of you! Conversation is always more fun over prickly pear margaritas and guacamole.

We're Baaaaack

We're back from Florida, and had a special welcome home with the most white-knuckle descent and landing I've ever had the pleasure of experiencing, thanks to crazy wind.

Last weekend I took my daughter to visit my parents in Florida while my husband took the big kids skiing in Utah with his parents, and it was glorious to see blue skies and sunshine every day. I even, according to the scale this afternoon, lost a pound. Yay for that.

I've missed reading all your blogs this week but I'll be catching up over the next few days.

Comparison Time

I've been putting off any before/current pictures because I don't know how to make them. (Jen has a great tutorial here.)

I finally got around to it. It's not full-body, but I can see some difference in my face, despite the lighting issues.

Feeling Better

Thanks for the love - the horrid swelling is gone and I'm able to eat again. Yesterday, too. Just taking it slowwww.

Nothing too exciting to report. I went to the gym again this morning, and have another appointment tomorrow at 6 am. Then on Sunday I'm off to visit my parents in Florida for the week. Looking forward to all but the traveling with a toddler part. It's never boring.

Tiiiiiight.

Yesterday I had two soft-boiled eggs for breakfast (hungry after my workout!) and some chicken for lunch. Plus some unauthorized chocolate items during the day.

When I sat down last night for dinner, I took one bite and was completely uncomfortable. My band had snapped shut again. I even had to pour my glass of wine back into the bottle because I couldn't have more than a sip. Two hours later, I was still wondering if I'd get sick, but I never did.

I figured it was temporary and I'd take it easy this morning. So I had a few small sips of my hot tea and proceeded to throw them up an hour later (making my second-grader late for school - didn't even try to explain that one to the office).

Not being able to eat for a day or so isn't the worst, but this throwing up thin liquids is so strange, and it freaks me out. I don't really know what to think about it - just a couple days ago I was wondering if I should go for a fill, but then decided to hold off because I have a lot of travel coming up and I don't want to get stuck somewhere far from my doctor's office. Now I guess I have my answer for sure - no fill needed here.

I've had a couple tiny bites of very thin soup in the last 20 minutes. We'll see how this goes.

3.15 pm update: Got some soup down. Still feels tight but it seems like it's getting better. Not a lot of fun, though; my stomach has been grumbly all day.

Ommmmmmmmm.

The only trainer available for my gym session this morning was Amanda the yoga and pilates instructor. So I spent an hour doing yoga. And you guys, that is some hard shit.

No wonder devoted yogis have such lithe, dreamy bodies. There's a lot of lengthening that goes on (zip it with the short jokes, Joey). And great stretching, and pushing of muscles. My hamstrings were sore from Friday's workout, and they got another good workout today.

I've always had terrible balance, so I'm hoping to improve my balance and flexibility with yoga once or twice a week in addition to my other workouts. Question: Do you do yoga, and how have you found it most helpful? Muscle building, flexibility, balance, general well-being...?

I have three gym appointments this week, all early morning. I am so, so not a morning person. Making the 5.30 am wakeup tolerable requires advance planning: I must lay my gym clothes out the night before; I must have my water bottle filled and in the car ready to go; I have to forgo wine the night before; and I absolutely must go to bed by 10 pm.

We had three parties yesterday - a birthday celebration for my nephews, and two Super Bowl shindigs. Would you believe I didn't have any of the double chocolate birthday cake? This is partially because I totally pigged out on the lox and cream cheese. I never would have believed I could enjoy those without a bagel, but guess what? Still good, especially with a little lemon wedge. I was having a hormonal, kind of down day, so I like to think all the omega-3s in the salmon perked me up.

The Super Bowl parties were fun, and I didn't overindulge. Someone brought a delicious app of really good egg salad on an endive leaf. I really love the idea of serving dips with endive leaves rather than crackers or chips. I fully intend to do this more often. Although I guess it wouldn't work with hot dips because the leaf would wilt and then the dip would fall off.

Here's my favorite Super Bowl ad:

Hey Endorphins! Where You Been?

I had another 6 am workout this morning. It was 12 degrees when I pulled out of the garage onto the sheet of ice that is our driveway.

Once again, I got to the gym and did what the trainer told me, chatting all the while. And then before I knew it, it was 7 am, I was sweaty and my legs were already sore. Bonus: I'd already finished a bottle and a half of water.

It's a strange feeling of relief to realize my workout is done at 7 am. There's no more, "I know I should go but I'm so tired/hungry/busy," all day long, taking up valuable space in my brain. It's done. No more thinking about it.

This is a real revelation to me, because even back in the day when I ran four or five days a week (those mid-twenties were fun years), it was always after work. I only did long runs on weekend mornings, and back then 8 am was early to me.

On the way home from the gym, I cranked the radio - you wouldn't believe how good the sound system in a minivan can be these days - and enjoyed the endorphins. It's been too long.

NYC Brunch - March 20th!

Hi everyone,

The fabulous Gilly and Joey will be hitting New York in a few weeks. We're planning a brunch at Dos Caminos on March 20th, time TBD.

Please let us know if you can come and we'll figure out reservations. Can't wait to see everyone!

Snow Days Are Killing Me

This weather, and the subsequent housebound-ness, is wreaking havoc on my eating. For one thing, we're doing lots of baking to while away the time and keep the kids busy and interested in something other than TV and video games. For another, it's just so easy to snack.

In order to minimize the damage, I'm sending all baked goods out of the house as soon as the roads are passable again. I sent a dozen and a half chocolate chip cookies to my husband's office a few days ago, and I'll do the same with the Barefoot Contessa's red velvet cupcakes we made today.

We also tried the No-Knead Bread recipe from the Sullivan Street Bakery via the NY Times. It's out of the oven but I haven't tasted it yet so can't render a final verdict.