I've essentially stayed at the same weight for a few months now. It's getting old. It's my own fault. We've been through this.
I've gotten discouraged lately, and even started slipping into my pre-surgery negative thinking. One of the greatest things about this surgery is that my mind has felt so freeee of the constant berating I was doing to myself, so I'm unsettled by this new development.
Tomorrow I see my surgeon. For some reason, he feels that fills should go in 0.25cc increments or more. Never less. I'm at 5.5 cc's and the last two times I went up to 5.75 ccs I was too tight.
The Hubs tells me I should go in and ask the doctor to give me a 0.1 cc fill to put me at 5.6 ccs. I am going to ask. Wish me luck. I'm dreading going back because I'm doing shittily on this whole thing and I tend to get a lecture every time. Sigh.
Lucky for me, Kristen has fabulously agreed to host another challenge. And I'm in!
Kristen: I hope you see this before you go to the doctor. PLEASE stand up for yourself and tell your doctor or his staff or whomever is 'lecturing' you that you are NOT a child and that you will not be lectured.
ReplyDeleteYou also have a right to make choices about the amount of fill. It is one thing for a practice to limit you and say "No, you want TOO much and it is dangerous." It is entirely another for your practice to FORCE you into a dangerously tight mode.
I am so furious every time I read about your dumb doctor-- if I were you, and i've said it before: I'd report this asshat and his whole stupid brigade to the OPMC for their disgusting practices.
Your husband is RIGHT, tell them what you want and REFUSE to take more of a fill.
Quite frankly: as I've said over and over-- I really think you need to get into a different practice.
Oh: I also want to say that being stuck at the place you're at is NOT indicative of your being a failure or a bad person. It is a natural part of the process and a lot of us are there too. The important thing is NOT to give up... keep moving ahead.
I hope this is helpful to you-- lots of love and encouragement!!!
This isn't your first issue with this doc's office, right? I can't remember if it was your blog or someone else's that had a problem getting in to see the doc when they couldn't even keep water down. If this was you,please consider seeing a diff doc. This one just doesn't seem very receptive to your concerns. I've been debating doing the Christmas Challenge. I've never done one before so not quite sure how it works. Good luck!
ReplyDeleteV - I know you're right, and I'm going to be assertive and ask.
ReplyDeleteManda - yes, that was me who had trouble with the doc. I've thought about changing several times, and looked into it some, but the tricky part is that he's kind of the only game in town. I could go to NYC but it would take an entire day every time with traffic and parking and waiting time (which I hear can be significant in the NYU practice). So I'm looking at options and I"ll see what I can figure out.
Ok...I am on the other side of this whole thing. Obviously I'm not in your body and don't know intimately what's going on in there, but I think you're too tight as it is. If you are regularly getting stuck and PBing, I think you're too tight. And I honestly believe that too tight isn't the way to lose weight. It limits what you can eat, which leads to unhealthy choices at the least, and really bad, fattening choices in the worst case. And not to mention that when you're that tight, you can't even eat enough to give yourself the sensation of staiety. It concerns me that so many of us aren't losing weight and we automatically think we need a fill. Before we go for a fill, are we eating a cup of protein (that we DON'T PB half of) and waiting to see if we feel stomach growling hunger in 4 hours? Myself, I can go 5 hours or more on less than a cup of protein. BUT I COULD EAT MORE!!! I have to use effort and willpower to stop at a cup. Do I always? NOPE. Not even close to always, in fact. But I know that I don't need a fill. I'm willing to say that I rarely, if ever, feel actual stomach growling hunger. I often eat at mealtimes just because it's mealtime. These past few days I've been eating around my band like a mofo (thank you Halloween). Habitual eating is my worst enemy. To get back into the game is going to take effort and I know that no amount of fill is going to solve it for me.
ReplyDeleteK, sorry if none of this applies to you. I don't mean to be talking to you like you don't know your own body...I'm just concerned about you and I don't want you, or any of us, to go through the too tight episodes that you've been through in the past.
Hi Gilly - actually, I haven't had a stuck or PB episode at all since early September, when I got so sick from being overfilled. At that time I was at 5.75 cc's. I went down to 4.75 cc's, then up last month to 5.5 cc's. Them's the latest stats.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right that sometimes we think we need a fill when in fact we need an unfill, but I haven't been avoiding solids in favor of sliders. Don't get me wrong, I've eaten sliders, but not because I can't get anything else down.
You are absolutely right that I need to walk away from the table earlier. That is so much harder than I anticipated.
Sending you the vibes that all is well post-fill! Mwah!
ReplyDeleteAND I'm glad you are doing the challenge with us!
ReplyDelete