Frustrated.

My band and I aren't getting along. I can't figure out if it's too tight or not tight enough or if I'm just expecting too much, but I'm frustrated.

At my last doctor visit, I told my surgeon I was frustrated. My weight loss has been stalled for at least a couple of months now, and I'm tired of trying to figure out how much fill gets me into the 'green zone.' The variance in how much restriction a particular fill level gives me on one day vs. another just serves to complicate matters further. Dr. M said, "You're right on schedule, for both the stall and the frustration." Which made me feel better; it was good to hear that a lot of his patients hit a rough patch at this point and I'm not alone in this.

I know some of you can't eat solids until the afternoon, but I've always found that difficult to get used to. I need something solid in the morning, and for most of the 10 months since my surgery that's been a Zone bar. It's fast, easy, tastes good, and has lots of protein. I start my day with a cup of hot tea, and then have my bar an hour or so later. I'm having trouble with my mid-morning Zone bar, and that bothers me.

I made chicken salad with Greek yogurt and grapes yesterday, and even though I put it through the food processor and added lots of yogurt so it would be really moist, I can only have a couple of bites. Problem: I'm still hungry. It's not a mental, I still want to eat thing. I'm actually still hungry.

I've been having lots of black bean soup, which is high in protein and fiber (and giving me all kinds of gas, isn't that lovely). Last night I had a little chicken salad, a steamed artichoke (more fiber! and gas!) and a few breadsticks (the Italian style kind, really long and thin and crunchy).

This morning I had my tea and a Starbucks orange mango smoothie (260 cal., 2g fat, 15g protein, 5g fiber). I was able to drink it, but s-l-o-w-l-y.

I haven't had a meaningful weight loss since early September, and that was really because I was dehydrated and then I got an unfill and gained a few pounds back. I weighed 206 this morning. I also weighed 206 on September 9th. It's been bouncing around a couple of pounds since then, which is all the more frustrating because I've been eating decently, not relying on sliders.

Grrrr.