For Jacquie

For some reason, I can't comment on anyone's blog right now. I wanted to let you know I am terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your dad and brother-in-law. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

The Remote Controlled Lap-Band

I decided today that I'm relying too much on food that's easy to eat - soups, cheeses, etc. I haven't lost much weight in the last 10 days.

Tonight I made baked halibut for dinner, very moist. Within two bites I was stuck and uncomfortable. It wasn't awful, I didn't PB, but it's frustrating. I stopped for a couple hours, then went back to my Old Reliable menu - olives, brie and an artichoke. No wine because I had a high-cal lunch.

I don't *think* I need an unfill, because I'm still getting hungry when I wish I wouldn't.

I don't know. I guess I'll see how things go.

The Hubs was at a healthcare conference today in NY and sat through an Allergan presentation. They're working on a remote-control, patient-controlled Lap-Band. When he first mentioned this, I thought that'd be awesome. But I'm not so sure; my band often stops me from eating when I would realllllly like to keep going. If I could control how tight it is, not sure how successful my weight loss would be.

To be fair, our conversation didn't get into too many details (who has time when we need to talk boilers?) so I didn't get specifics from him. Maybe the remote control is complicated and not something you could do for a meal here or there, which would make it more feasible.

What do you think?

Forty-Five Pounds!

The good news: I hit 45 pounds down today. Yayyyyy! Sweeeeet.

The bad news: It took me a week to lose half a pound.

I don't need another fill. I think I'm in a good place with restriction. But I guess it's time to shake up the "choices" section of my diet. I haven't been awful, but things could be better. I'll be more mindful of that this week.

(Just looked over at what I've had post-dinner. A glass of wine (~100 cal?), a pack of M&Ms (240) and a 100-calorie snack pack. Almost 500 calories, after dinner. So yeah, there's room for improvement.)

The evening eating is a problem, clearly. Want to hear something weird? I sometimes go for hours without thinking of food during the day. This is a new and very welcome development.

I had a great Mother's Day. The boys greeted me bedside wearing aprons, notepads in hand to take my breakfast order. They dutifully brought up a protein shake and orange juice (threw that in after they gave me guff for just ordering the shake). It was all kinds of sweet.

I spoke with my mom, who is recuperating from her face lift. She seems to be holding up, although my dad keeps whispering that she looks like Frankenstein. Lotta stitches with a face lift, apparently.

I hope you all had a great weekend. Smooches!

AP News Alert*

I did not have an artichoke for dinner tonight. (We didn't have any.)

I haven't lost any weight in the last week or so, which probably means it's time to revamp my dinner menu. I had the snackies all day today, and I can't blame it on hormones.

*AP News Alert was the highest, most important category of news coming over the Associated Press wire. As in, "AP NEWS ALERT - SHOTS FIRED AT KENNEDY IN DALLAS."

PS Apparently we need a new boiler. Our current gas-fired Burnham has a crack in the block, and the generous folk at Burnham are offering us a $550 credit toward a new one. Does anyone know about this stuff? Should we do Burnham again, or go with another brand altogether? This is a totally random question, but it's a big ticket item (we got estimates for ~$19,000) and I don't know jack about this stuff so figured it can't hurt to ask.

How Are You Feeling?

This'll be a quickie because the microwave is chirping to let me know that my artichoke is cooked.

I'm noticing that I can eat a little more, although still not much. The good news is, I don't feel very hungry. The weight loss is slow but it's happening, and there's not much bounce. Yay for that - less mental torture.

Today was the Mother's Day Tea in the 4-year-old class at nursery school. Cutest thing ever - it's one of those rare moments of pure parenthood joy. The kids are singing songs about how much they love their moms, so proud to show us around their classroom and serve us cookies.

The teachers had photos of all the kids throughout the year, and there were several from when I read to the class in the fall.

Holy shit. I. Was. HUGE. I'll have to scan and post later. But really -- H U G E.

Word has apparently gotten around the school about my surgery (I haven't really tried to keep it a secret), because the teachers keep whispering about how great I look and then shooting me a meaningful look and saying, "And how are you feeling?"

Picture Post! And Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Yesterday was four months since I got my band. I've lost 31.5 pounds since surgery, and 44.5 pounds total (including pre-op losses).

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'd love to have lost more by now. But the fact that I've lost this much while still drinking wine and eating cheese, chocolate and olives is really why I got the band. I'm not dieting; I'm living and losing weight along the way.

I am thrilled I got this thing.

I'm at a good restriction now, after being too tight for three or four weeks. I haven't needed my papaya enzymes in at least a week because things aren't getting stuck. I am being really, really careful about what I eat but I really haven't been very hungry either. HOW AWESOME IS THAT?

I snapped a few photos last night when I got home from Cub Scouts. Excuse the bad lighting.


Thanks to Amy W for the hand-on-hip posing tip. FINALLY, I look like a supermodel.



Also, Happy Cinco de Mayo! This used to be one of my favorite holidays. What's not to like about guacamole and margaritas? But the kids don't tolerate tequila well, so my hard-celebrating Cinco de Mayo days are over.

Today is also my sister's third wedding anniversary. I worked my ass off to get in shape for her wedding. I knew hers was the last sibling wedding and the pictures would be around forever, so I worked with a trainer five days a week from January to May. (And then promptly gained back all the weight I had lost, plus got pregnant and added some more.) HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, K&J!

What I'm Eating, and Goals

I'm having my favorite dinner again - it's been showing up on my menu frequently, and I'm losing weight so I'm going with it.

Here's the menu:

- six Kalamata (Greek) olives
- three small slices of brie with fig spread
- one steamed artichoke (in the microwave, in plastic wrap - I know, the chemicals could kill me), leaves dipped in melted butter**
- a glass of red wine (pinot noir)

Have I gone on the Mediterranean diet without realizing it? Apparently. But I loooooove it. I look forward to it every night. And some nights, I can't even finish it.

My restriction is pretty good right now. I find that I have my best eating days when I have a shake in the morning, even though I really don't love them. But it does give me a protein boost to start the day.

Lunch has been a cup of blended black bean soup or chili with a dollop of sour cream. Both are high in fiber and protein.

For a snack I have a Babybel light cheese, a few olives, a teaspoon of hummus or half of an avocado mashed with some kosher salt. (Not all of these in one day, though.)

I try to drink as much water as possible, and usually have two or three glasses of iced tea (black or green) through the day. And I usually have some kind of chocolate - Cadbury Creme Egg or a mini York Peppermint Patty or a handful of M&Ms.

Some nights I have fish. That's it. That pretty much covers what I eat lately.


**I never cooked an artichoke till I moved in with my husband. There are lots of fancy ways to cook them, but we keep it simple.

We rinse the artichoke, cut the stem close to the base, wrap the whole thing in plastic wrap and put in the microwave for eight or nine minutes - more like 12 or 14 minutes if you have more than one.

We pull off the leaves (they should pull off easily; if they don't the artichoke isn't cooked enough), dip them in some melted butter in a teacup, and scrape the "meat" off the base of the leaf with our teeth. Very primitive, like cavemen. Then when we've gotten through most of the leaves we cut off the bottom (avoid any of the hairlike things - they're not good), dice that up and drizzle the leftover melted butter on top. That's the best part of the whole thing. Artichokes are low in calories and high in fiber, and totally delicious!

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

On to topic #2: GOALS

I was playing around with a BMI calculator and started figuring out goals. I'm not quite 5'4" but I count myself as 5'4" for these calculations.

1. At 174 pounds, I will no longer be obese, just plain overweight. Crazy to aspire to that, isn't it? Most people would be mortified to be considered overweight.
2. I want to break through 162, which is the lowest number I've seen on the scale in my adult life (and I saw it a week or so after running a marathon).
3. My ultimate goal is 145 pounds, when I will no longer be considered overweight. That seems a really long way away. I haven't been that weight since I was a teenager.
4. Most weight charts show my "ideal" weight between 117-130. I don't expect I will ever get there. But hey, dare to dream.

Thanks Joey!

Thanks to Joey for her wise recommendation to go vegetarian for our Indian dinner with my husband's partner and his wife. I had an awesome paneer tikka masala (cubes of cottage cheese in a creamy tomato sauce). It was soooo good and all went down perfectly, no problem.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!

The Girls Are Shrinking

I know it happens to everyone, but why can't the girls take my hips with them? And I still have *a lot* of junk in my trunk. That will never fully go away. I don't mind, I just want it to look more J.Lo than Nell Carter.

Scale was down again today -- FORTY FOUR. Yay for that.

Anyway, I got two new bras today. Smaller size. Here's my problem: One side is a C and the other is a D. I can kinda squeeze the D into the C and make it work, but when I put the C into the D it creates creases under my clothes. So I got a C. I'll let you know how it works out.

Showdown with the Surgeon

OK, so it wasn't all that dramatic. And I almost didn't do it because I hate confrontation (though the Hubs might beg to differ). But I thought of all of you, truly, and that made me brave enough to say something. I did it in a nice way, because he really is a nice man and I think he might just be clueless.

So I said, "Listen I was really freaked out when I called you because I couldn't eat solids. When you said, 'well I'm not going to open you up just so you can eat' all I could think was, this isn't what I signed up for."

He stopped for a minute and said, "I hope I wasn't too curt on the phone." I just kind of smiled, like, welllll actually... and then he went on to agree that of course a liquid diet isn't at all what the band is intended for. He just meant that if I was OK having soups and liquids for a few weeks, it'd give me a jumpstart on weight loss and would naturally loosen up as I lost weight.

He was very happy with my weight loss and I'm going back in a month to check in again.

In other news, I am thrilled that Sandra Bullock adopted a baby boy. Good for her.