Two Months, 18-20 Pounds Lost

Yesterday was the two-month mark of my surgery. So far, it's been a mixed bag. I've lost 18 to 20 pounds in two months, but most of it was immediately after the surgery. I had hoped (as most of us do, I think) that the weight loss would be easier and faster. Ha!

I am DEFINITELY happy I have a band - it gives me a plan, it gives me hope and it's brought me to this great blogging community.

I'm looking forward to seeing what I can accomplish over the next several months!

Rebellion? and Question of the Day

I was the ideal teenager. I was responsible, never drank, never caused problems for my parents. Never rebelled. To this day, I've never tried recreational drugs.

But by God, this band has me in the throes of a teenage rebellion the likes of which have not been seen around here in a long time. Today was... a free for all. I won't begin to tell you what I've eaten, except to say I had a pretty bad stuck episode, then a few hours later my first real PB (other one was on a large pill I swallowed).

This PB was from eating pretzels too quickly, and oh my gosh did it leave me with a terrible sore throat and general inflammation. I sipped tea this evening to rid myself of it.

I don't know what's going on here, but I'm reining it in. I'm trying to take all the lessons I gather from your blogs to heart and apply them in my own life.

1. No candy. NONE, until the weight-loss is completed and I weigh 145 pounds.
2. Nothing to eat after 8 pm. This is my vulnerable time, so I'm cutting myself off.

QUESTION OF THE DAY: In my previous post I asked people to define what "sweet spot" means to them. A few other readers said they were interested to read what everyone says, so if you have time please comment and let us know how you know you're at your sweet spot.

The Elusive Sweet Spot

I have decent restriction - my band is definitely doing some work if I try to test it with flatbread or anything too dry. It's keeping me from overindulging in those things for sure.

I've heard so many people talk about the sweet spot in restriction but I'm wondering what your actual definition of the sweet spot is. Is it that you can eat a few bites at every meal and that's it? Is it that you never feel an urge to snack or pick? Is it that food is out of your mind for the most part?

Can those of you who've reached the sweet spot weigh in?

Losing Something

The Hubs left at sunrise to catch a flight, so I woke up, showered, dressed, had some tea, made school lunches, got the boys breakfast, got the baby up and dressed and fed, brushed everyone's teeth, and packed money for the first-grade field trip. Then I looked at the clock, ohmigosh it's already 25 after and the oldest needs to be at school by 8.45 am, so I found shoes and gloves and coats, buckled everyone into their seats and peeled out of the driveway. We pulled up in front of school in the nick of time.

That's when I realized it was, in fact, 7.45 am. And we were an hour early.

I may not be losing weight but my mind is long gone.

In band-related news, I definitely have restriction. Weight is stable for the last few days but TOM is any second now and my fingers look like sausages. I made an egg-white omelet with cherry tomatoes, spinach and some feta cheese for breakfast and was able to eat about 2/3 of it. Here's hoping I start seeing the scale move down, down, down.

The only thing is, I wouldn't say I'm not looking for food at all, as I've heard some of you say. I don't necessarily feel like I need to have more restriction, but I don't find that food has left my mind and become a nonissue. Maybe that happens over time? Or maybe my food addiction is so severe it'll never happen? I don't know.

Reflux in Bandsters

I saw my regular doc today about getting liquid antibiotics. (Got 'em! Thanks for the suggestion. Now I don't have to be terrified every time I take them.)

My doctor asked how things are going with my band, and then mentioned that he doesn't love bands because several of his patients had severe reflux problems with them. I know a few people in our community have experienced this as well, and this worries me.

Is reflux inevitable when you have a band? Is there a way to avoid it? Once you have it, do you have to loosen the band so much that you start to regain? How is it best managed once it shows up?

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Babies, Babies Everywhere

My sister called last night to tell me she's pregnant with her first baby! So excited.

And then this morning the orthopedist's receptionist called and said brightly, "Dr. V had her baby! So I'll need to reschedule your appointment."

While I am delighted for Dr. V., I didn't even know she was pregnant. And my foot HURTS. And I can't swallow the rather large Aleve Liqui-Gels right now. So I'm limping for another couple of days till I see another doc in the practice. C'est la vie.

The scale was down a bit this morning, but hard to tell how much. It skipped around, so I'll weigh again in a little while to see if I can get a solid reading.

I also want to give a special shout-out to my friend Janene, who is the only person from my real life to read my blog. We were friends when we were single professionals, we shopped and worked late and drank and got makeovers together, we danced at each others' weddings and I love her dearly. Hope step class went well today, my friend. xoxo

HAPPY MONDAY, PEEPS!

Droopy Drawers

I had a lovely NSV today. Most of the time I wear jeans, but today I put on a pair of black pants that were snug when I bought them in November. They drooped so much that the hem dragged on the ground. They were too loose in the waist, the butt, the legs, everywhere! Today is definitely the last day I can wear them. As soon as I wash them I'll take picture and put them up for grabs here, along with a shirt and a pair of jeans.

I almost PB'd again on the antibiotics, even cut in half. They sort of sat there threatening to come up for about 10 minutes, then passed through. There is no way I'll be able to get them down if I smoosh them in grape jelly or something, so I'll just hope for the best for the next couple of days.

Well, Hello! Why Doncha Stay A While?

Hello, restriction! Yay! As so many of you have mentioned before, things seem tighter in the morning and loosened up a lot by last night. I'm delighted the restriction is here and just hope it sticks around for a while.

This does, however, make taking my antibiotic a little tricky. The pills are HUGE, so I cut them in half after yesterday morning's fiasco. But even the two halves are big enough that I've had to wait till noon to take them.

Ah well. I should be done with the antibiotic in a few days.

I'm still officially on liquids today, although I did have the ricotta/tomato sauce combo last night for dinner and it went down fine. This morning, some hot tea and a few bites of very runny oatmeal. I'm working my way now through a smoothie but it's taking a while.

We ended up getting about 16 inches of snow, and it's so heavy it's still weighing down tree branches. I'm guessing we'll go out to play later this afternoon.

Snow Day! (Sound Familiar?)

First of all, thanks for all your comments yesterday. They really do help me believe that this thing will work, at some point. You guys are the best. I was telling my husband today that I don't know what I would do if I didn't have all of your advice and experiences to guide me through this.

As for the eating (drinking), so far so good. I made pancakes for everyone this morning - the boys were begging - but I really wasn't tempted by them. I had some yogurt because I need something in my stomach for the anti-inflammatories I'm taking for my foot and for the antibiotic I'm taking for the sinus infection.

Secondly, we're doing another snow day and this time it's serious! We have *way* more snow than we did during the last storm. I'll try to take a picture at some point and post it.

We're planning to get the kids all set up in their snow gear and hike over to Grandma's house, mostly to get us all some exercise and a break. I'll try putting the baby in my Bjorn. We'll see how that goes...

**UPDATE** I took my pills with a few sips of water and within 10 minutes was leaning over the toilet. Oddly, some stuff came up but the gagging seemed to dislodge the meds and they went down. Not pleasant, but I'm grateful the medicine is in my system and I don't have to start over with the pills.

So I guess that was my first PB? With pills. Ewww. Should have been something worthwhile, like pizza!

Is This Thing On?

***I want to preface this post by saying I know I've been all kinds of negative lately. Please know that I am not writing this to bring on sympathy from you. I started this blog to keep track of my emotions and frustrations through this process, so I want to be as true to my feelings as I can. I'm hoping writing it all down will help me make sense of it.***

I had fill #2 today and I've been starving all day. Before the fill, I had three soft-boiled eggs and two pieces of rye toast with butter for breakfast. I resisted the cookies at my Haiti fundraiser meeting, so yay me on that front. Had 1.5 cc's added to bring me to 5.5 cc's in my band.

I went home and had 1/2 c of roasted red pepper soup, was still hungry so had a protein shake. I haven't had one of those in at least 10 days. Still felt hungry so had 1/2 or 2/3 c of chili, blended with some beef stock to thin it out. At dinner I had winter vegetable puree soup and 4-5 bites of tuna salad. Tonight I've had a glass of wine, half of a mashed avocado and a SF chocolate pudding cup (60 cals).

I am feeling so let down by this. I know it's a tool and I need to put effort into it, but I really did expect more from this band. I can't quite figure if it's normal to have this hunger and overeating while waiting to get to restriction, or if I am a giant fuckup and going to fail with this just as I have failed with every other weight-loss effort. If I fail with this, I'll let down my husband, my children, my entire family. Which, frankly, just depresses me and makes me want to eat more.