TOUCHDOWN!

OK, so it wasn't a low-cal day. But I followed my plan, ate lots of raw veggies, had a taste of the other things, and all in all I'm happy with the way the Super Bowl eating went.

I didn't have a horse in this race, but GO SAINTS! New Orleans deserves some good, unfiltered joy. Congratulations!

Self-Destructive Habits

Well, my behavior hasn't be geared toward success lately. More like the old self-destructive patterns. I am an emotional eater, as soon as I get upset or worried or anxious I start craving less-than-healthy food. And for the last three or four days, I've been mostly indulging those cravings.

For the first four weeks, when my band was new and I was terrified of hurting my recovery, I did not have a single thing I wasn't supposed to have. Followed instructions to the letter. And of course I lost weight.

I know everyone is telling me to wait for the fill, and believe me, I am waiiiiting and waiiiiting. But I'm concerned about these habits. How do I teach myself to find other ways to deal with difficult situations or emotional periods?

When I was in my mid-20s I started taking phen-fen. GREAT stuff. When fenfluramine was taken off the market (like two weeks after I started it), my doctor kept me on the phentermine. Let me tell you, that drug is like MAGIC. While I took the phentermine, over about 9 months I lost 75 pounds, started running, and eventually ran a marathon. I never got *skinny* - my lowest weight was about 165ish and I'm only 5'4" on a tall day. But at that weight I looked good, I felt great and my newfound confidence was reflected in every area of my life.

I had a ton of energy, I was happy and best of all, I wasn't interested in food. I remember sitting at a restaurant with friends, glancing at the menu and ordering salad without feeling like I was depriving myself.

And I stopped and thought, "This must be what it's like to be normal." Not thinking about food, not beating myself up for eating bad things, making bad choices, constantly returning myself to the circumstances that made me so unhappy and kept me from doing the things I wanted to do in my life.

That's what I'm hoping the band will do for me, particularly as I start getting fills. I want to think of food like normal people do - as fuel, as a way to share good times with family and friends. But not as a controlling factor in my life. I know I need to do my part, but right now I'm doing a crappy, crappy job.

Carrot Sticks, Meet Gridiron

I'm at the 'one step back' part of the two steps forward progression scale of banding. It happens, and from what so many of you tell me, it's not unusual as I wait to get to a good restriction. In the meantime, I'm trying to minimize the damage and talk myself down from the frustration and disappointment of not melting fast enough. Battling hunger and cravings all day long is mentally exhausting. Blech.

I've been worst at night lately, snacking and eating things that aren't doing much for me. Last night actually wasn't bad, probably because I went to a talk about raising boys, how they learn differently than girls, etc. I was out and busy for most of the evening. When I got home I had the munchies but I satisfied the urge with a slice of turkey and a slice of American cheese.

However. This Sunday will present a teeeeeny challenge for me and, I suspect, for many of us.

I'm not into football, but people go to Super Bowl parties the way agnostics flock to church on Easter Sunday. And I'll be joining the crowd. I'm bringing a delicious hot crab dip (with cream cheese, cheddar cheese and sour cream), Rice Krispie treats and brownies. The hostess is making wings and there will be a million people, all of whom will bring something or other.

Strategies: Try to load up on bulky raw vegetables before eating anything else. No drinking while eating and no caloric beverages (there won't be any wine or beer; one of the hosts is in AA).

What are your plans for the Super Bowl? Are you just going to eat what you want for that one day, or are you sticking with the rules of the band?

Lane Bryant

What would a weight-loss (or weight-loss-surgery) blog be without a Lane Bryant post?

Most of us have shopped there, been aghast at the godawful goods at ridiculous prices, and grateful to find something, anything we can wear that hasn't been beadazzled within an inch of its life.

I just stopped by LB to pick up a few shirts that I'm hoping will tide me over for a while. And guess what their latest "style" is, ladies?

STIRRUP PANTS.

Oh, Lane Bryant. I can't wait to bid you farewell.

One Week Till First Fill

I am ready for a fill. Really, really ready.

My goal for the next week is to keep my weight from creeping upward. That's it.

I'm not off to a great start. Today I had the insides of a bean burrito along with chips, salsa and sour cream. Then I had four Hershey's kisses. That's all I've had - the morning kind of flew by and I forgot to make a shake. But still... the insides of the entire burrito. Plus chips.

Fill 'er up, please.

Give me your Challenge updates as you get 'em. You guys are rockin this thing!

Question of the Day: For those of you who've monetized your blog, have you actually made any money from this? Do they send you a check?

PS Does anyone else find they have to go back after they write a post and delete at least half the exclamation points? Cause I do!! Every! Freakin! Time!

It's Official

I am out of touch. I have not seen a single one of the movies nominated for Best Picture this year. In fact, I think I've only seen three movies in the past 12 months - The Hangover (took the baby when she was 5 weeks old and nursed her through the whole film - most relaxing evening I had in ages); Star Trek (for the Hubs' 40th birthday; also took him to Panera for dinner to celebrate) and Invictus (most excellent, by the way).

In 2000 I saw every single movie nominated for Best Picture. What has become of me??

As far as eating and whatnot, let's just say my restriction is minimal. I had a protein shake for breakfast, a Dunkin Donuts flatbread sandwich for lunch and two smallish bowls of butternut squash risotto (Barefoot Contessa recipe - BEST EVER) for dinner. Not exactly a model bandster day.

The scale did show a half-pound loss this morning, so I guess things could be worse. Like tomorrow morning, when the glass (ok, two glasses, stop grilling me already) of wine show up.

I logged 40 minutes on the elliptical while the oldest child had swim practice at the Y. That's something, right?

Also, an anticipated NSV: I'm planning our summer activities, trying to coordinate dates and trips with the extended family. I am SO EXCITED to do things this summer that I haven't been able to do in years because of my weight. I want to take the kids on rides and hikes and kayaking (last summer I couldn't fit in our kayaks). I am really, really looking forward to all of that. I love doing things with my children, and I have missed out the last few years. This band gives me hope. That's the best thing about it.

Finally, I leave you with a New York Times story about Michael Pollan's new book, Food Rules: An Eater's Manual.

Time to Come Clean

Well, this is embarrassing.

I did not exercise on the first day of my own Exercise Challenge. I have no good excuse, other than that the day completely got away from me. I will be participating for the rest of the week.

Enough about me. You guys are doing REALLY well with this challenge! I'm uber-impressed by the numbers you're racking up. I might even say it's inspiring...

Let me know how today goes and I'll update everyone's totals.

Four Weeks

It's been four weeks today since my surgery. I weighed in at 237 this morning - 16 pounds lost since Jan. 4th and 29 since October. Yayyyy! I ordered a new pair of jeans as one of my pairs is getting way too big, so that's kind of exciting.

It's been exhausting around here yesterday and today, so I'm pooped and going to bed. G'night, all.

FREEZIN FEBRUARY CHALLENGE

Happy February, people! This week's challenge starts Monday, Feb. 1st and ends Friday, Feb. 5th. The details: Everyone must commit to at least 20 minutes of exercise per day, every day. Any kind of exercise counts, walking or zumba or elliptical or whatever. Whoever accumulates the most minutes wins the challenge, although we'll all end the week victorious.

So far, this challenge includes Cara, Barbara, Jen, Yana, Jennifer, Vanessa and me. If anyone else wants to join, please do. The more, the merrier.

When you've completed your exercise for the day, update me with your info on that day's post here.

Looking forward to getting moving with you!

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In other news, something strange happened today. I wasn't much interested in food. At all. It was kind of that way later in the day yesterday too. I have to think hormones are involved here somewhere, because my cravings fell off a cliff. Boom, just like someone flicked a switch.

I'm not going to overanalyze. I'm happy with it. Scale is holding steady (it took back those three pounds and apologized for the misunderstanding). I ate really well today. Didn't exercise, though - the challenge will light a fire under my lazy butt.

The party last night was great - awesome reggae band, good wine, nice people. Judging from the showing at the party, it's amazing to me how many men have Hawaiian shirts in the back of their closets. Especially in New England. My husband (who has two, and trust me, he's not exactly good-time Charlie) claims that every gentleman should have at least one Hawaiian shirt and a tuxedo in his wardrobe. There's something to ponder.

The whole point of mentioning the party was to say, I did awesome with the food. I had a turkey and cheese roll-up before we left the house, and then had three appetizer-size crabcakes. I did also have two large glasses of pinot noir, so it wasn't a fantastic *calorie intake* day. But at least I didn't pile tons of food on top of the wine. Baby steps, right?

Cara, GOOD LUCK starting your course this week. You will be brilliant! Be sure to let us know how it all goes.

Bandster Hell and CHALLENGE

I'm in it. Not so much that I'm having cravings, more that as soon as I have one I tend to indulge it. My daily calories are still in the 900-1300 range, but inching up. First fill: Feb. 10th.

I need to get my act together. I was doing so well, and now I guess I'm realizing that I can eat more (although I do have a little restriction, I can definitely tell when I eat too fast or don't chew well enough).

I'm just going to take this meal by meal. The past two days I haven't done so well with logging every bite. Need to start doing that again.

We have a party to go to tonight - a Hawaiian theme. Of course I do not have a single cute resort-y dress to wear, so I'm wearing all black and buying a few leis from the local party store. Ay yi yi.

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It seems like we have some takers on the CHALLENGE. Let's say everyone will do a minimum of 20 minutes each day from Monday-Friday, but keep track of your total minutes so we can see who takes the prize! Challenge starts Monday, Feb. 1st and ends 11.59 pm on Friday.

Comment here to let me know you're in, and then each day as you finish, comment on that day's post to let us know how you're doing.

GOOD LUCK!