Question of the Day

For those of us just starting out, can you please post what one or two things have helped most with your lap-band success?

Crossroads

I hit a crossroads last night. There was a Mom's Night Out at a local restaurant, open bar and passed appetizers for two hours. Before I left I was so busy getting everyone organized that I didn't have a chance to have dinner. I planned to have a few apps and a glass of wine.

I had a sea scallop, three risotto balls and three pieces of shrimp tempura, plus a glass of pinot noir. (Skipped the sliders, pot stickers and spring rolls.)

It was a lot, but I had planned for a high-calorie day. I'm not sure exactly how many calories I consumed with those appetizers; it's hard to tell with food like that. I vigilantly weighed, measured and journaled everything I ate up until then, counted the wine, drank lots of water yesterday, etc.

The thing that kind of scared me was, I felt pretty normal. If I had tried, I might have been able to eat a slider, roll and all. But I am terrified of going down that road, because I think I will end up sabotaging my weight loss and fighting the band at every step of the way.

I need to make a big decision: Am I going forward really focusing on changing my habits and putting to rest my compulsions, or am I going to push the envelope and eat as much as my band will "allow" at any moment?

Last night I did a little of both. I stayed away from the sliders because I didn't want to know if I could get one down.

If I had eaten dinner before I left (or even sipped a protein shake on the way), I could have had a glass of wine and stayed away from the food altogether. That would have been the best choice. It's tricky - I don't want to NEVER eat at functions like that.

The scale showed me up a pound today, which is mathematically impossible since my daily calorie intake hasn't topped 1000 calories more than twice in the 2.5 weeks since my surgery. And it's often been in the 600-800 range. So intellectually I know it's water (fingers are STILL swollen) but that doesn't make it less upsetting.

This leaves me with plenty to ponder. I think I'll take my measurements; hopefully those numbers have gone in the right direction and that will cheer me up a bit and help keep my eyes on the prize.

A New Day, and Question of the Day

The scale is holding steady at 240, much to my dismay. My fingers are also still crazy swollen and my period isn't due for another 10+ days, so no idea what's up with that. We'll see, I guess. I have a water bottle with me much of the time and I sip, sip, sip away at it but I guess I need to do more.

Today is going to be a higher-calorie day. (Yesterday ended up being more than 515, btw, I felt better and had some cottage cheese and the M&Ms.) I am shooting for 1100-1200 calories today, all with "legal" soft foods, of course. It shouldn't be too hard, I have a Mom's Night Out tonight with some girlfriends so a glass of wine will add to my daily tally. But I think a day of higher calorie intake will help shake things up a bit and maybe get the scale moving. Also, it will make me feel c-r-a-z-y eating 1200 calories. My, how things change...

And now, the Question of the Day: How much Biotin do you take for the hair situation? Do you find the pills or the shampoo more helpful? And do you have a favorite brand of Biotin supplements? Where do you get them?

I'm feeling better and I changed out of my whiny pants, so hopefully today's post won't be as much of a downer. Thanks for your sympathy and support, it is so nice to read, especially on days like yesterday.

Whiny McWhinerson

That's me today - whine, whine, whine. I don't feel well, I miss eating toast when I have a stomach bug, I'm tired despite having two (2!) naps, I'm hungry but nothing seems good to me and I've only had 515 calories today and about 700 yesterday but the scale hasn't moved in two days.

I want chocolate. Real chocolate, not sugar-free pudding (which isn't bad, but isn't quite what I'm going for).

I know this band is going to be a great thing for me. It already is - I've lost 13 pounds in 16 days, and 26 pounds total on this journey.

I'm still having a hard time letting go of my old eating habits, though. I haven't eaten anything that isn't allowed on my postop instructions, and I've definitely been within my calorie limits, but boy I still want want want to have the things I used to have.

This is really hard. And I'm not liking it very much today.

UPDATE: I had 0.5 oz of M&Ms. Satisfied my chocolate craving. Counted the calories in my log. Feeling just fine with it.

First Doctor Visit

I think I may have a stomach bug. Yesterday and today I am EXHAUSTED, way more than normal. I could just sleep and sleep and sleep. I've been nauseated on and off. I also feel on the verge of tears.

My visit with the surgeon was fine, nothing exciting. Everything's healing well, he was very happy with my weight loss and scheduled me for a barium swallow and first fill in three weeks.

Here's the problem: The hubs is traveling that day, and I need him to do the school runs/ child care. Now I have to reschedule it which isn't so easy because it means coordinating the surgeon's schedule with the radiology department's schedule AND with the hubs' travel schedule. Sigh.

In short, a blah kind of day.

Counting Calories

I know the band is supposed to free me from dieting and calorie counting, but keeping track of my calorie intake has been oddly comforting for me. I guess it's because I can see that I'm satisfied on so many fewer calories than pre-band. I've been faithfully measuring and weighing to make sure I relearn appropriate portion sizes.

We had 15 members of the hubs' family over on Sunday for Chinese takeout, the Golden Globes red carpet and some football (on the smaller kitchen TV - big TV reserved for red carpet fashions, obvs). Not many of them know about the band, so I wasn't sure how it would go.

I don't really like Chinese food and they all know that, so I don't think it was too strange that I made a separate dinner for myself. I had a glass of wine, a cube of port salut (soft) cheese and 1/4 c. of ricotta with 1/2 c. of tomato sauce baked in the toaster oven (yum!). I faithfully logged everything and came in just under my 1000 calorie self-limit for the day. Very happy about that.

Yesterday was fun and relaxing. The hubs and I saw Sherlock Holmes, I did a little cooking and everyone just chilled and played.

I woke up with my fingers all crazy swollen, and the scale showed me up .5 pound. Lousy piece of... ;) Since I could barely get my rings on, I'm assuming it's all water retention, so drinking lots today and hoping to pee it all out soon.

Thanks to everyone who answered my question yesterday about whether your significant other or family reads your blog. My husband said he's happy for me to use this as a place to vent, ask questions and hang with the band girls without worrying that he'll be checking in.

Tomorrow is my first follow-up visit with the surgeon. Wondering when he'll schedule my first fill...

Question of the Day

Good morning everyone!

My husband knows I have a blog, but so far he hasn't read it. I'd be happy for him to read it in a month or two, when I'm a little further down the scale, but for now I feel awkward having him know how much I weigh. He's been supportive and encouraging through this whole process, but I just feel like the numbers are too much information at this point.

Question of the Day: Do your spouses/significant others/family members know about your blog, and do they read it?

Restriction... I Think

I keep hearing about Bandster Hell, and I am terrified of it and dreading it, because I have no willpower. Seriously. None. That's why I got this thing in the first place.

Tomorrow marks two weeks since my surgery and I seem to have some restriction. Maybe it's some residual swelling from surgery? I don't care, I'm just happy. I am honestly not very hungry (watch, tomorrow I'll wake up starving), and when I am hungry I'm satisfied by very small portions - 1/4 c. cottage cheese, 1/4 c. yogurt, 6 oz. tomato soup or a protein shake.

I've been tracking my calories on Lose It!, because at my support group meeting the social worker mentioned we should be shooting for 850-900 calories during the early healing/weight loss stage. I realized I didn't know how many calories I'd been taking in (although I was still on clear liquids, so no big worries there).

On Monday I had about 1,100 calories. On Tuesday it was 983, and stayed below that Wednesday and Thursday. On Friday and Saturday I didn't even hit 700 calories. Today I'm back up to almost a thousand.

I really wasn't restricting calories, just logging what I ate. I ate (drank) when I was hungry, stopped when I was full, and was satisfied.

What a crazy concept.

I'm officially on mushies now, so I imagine it will be harder to keep the calories on the low end since I have so many more foods to choose from. I'm planning to ride this wave as long as I can, though.

~ Dos Caminos ~

Today was my first real post-band restaurant experience. I was in New York City with a friend (looking for her wedding dress, yay)! After shlepping around SoHo we stopped in for a late brunch at Dos Caminos. I was there in mid-December and ate nearly everything on my plate, plus chips, salsa and guacamole.

Boy, was today different.

First of all, I haven't had any food I could chew until today. I found a dish on the menu with poached eggs and swiped some of my friend's black beans (don't know if they were refried or just mashed, but they were mushy - perfect texture).

It was great, and it was tough.

What I ordered: Quesadilla Benedict - ham, cheese and black bean quesadilla, poached eggs, roasted poblano hollandaise. My meal came with a huge portion of breakfast potatoes on the side.

What I ate: one poached egg and about a tablespoon of black beans, plus half a forkful of guacamole. I was full after that, truly full. But that doesn't mean I was mentally ready to stop eating.

What I wanted to eat: All of it. Seriously. It looked sooooo good. Lucky for me, all of your blogger voices and advice (SLOW. TEENY BITES. STOP EARLY) were reverberating in my mind, and good sense prevailed. I stopped.

It's a whole new world.

It Fits!!

MY ENGAGEMENT RING FITS!!!!

Based on the scale reading this morning, I retrieved it from the safe it's been hiding in for more than a year. My fingers swelled during pregnancy last year and then I never lost enough weight for my ring to fit. I tried it a couple of times, but no go. Today it slid right on. (Wedding ring is 1/2 size bigger, so it fit sooner.)

This was the first goal I really wanted to hit, so I'm thrilled.